The Best Earl Talbot Blake Quotes

[after taking a female hostage]
Earl: Pork, back off or else she's gonna need a paper bag over her head when her boyfriend fucks what's left of her!

Parole: The parole board's ready, Blake. I hope you remembered to floss.
Earl: I did! With your wife's pubic hair!

Earl: I mean, there we were, both of us... at the beginning of our careers. Then all of a sudden, one of us... took off! Lit up the sky like a meteor. And why? Because he met the other.

Earl: I'm gonna do something far worse than kill you. I'm gonna let you live.

[Nick Styles approaches a car driver that almost ran him down, and suddenly sees it's Blake]
Nick: Jesus Christ.
Blake: Almost.

Parole: Mr. Blake, what will you do if you get out of prison?
Blake: [thinking] Well, I guess, Mr. Chairman, that first I'll pay a visit to your house.
Parole: To thank me, I suppose?
Blake: No... to fuck your wife. And your daughter. Hell, maybe even your dog.

Nick: You killed Farris, didn't you?
Earl: You killed my life.
Nick: So, now we're even, is that it?
Earl: [scoffs] We're not even close.

Earl: What the fuck is going on?
Kim: It's Styles. His friends grabbed me and dragged me here.
Earl: That's impossible!
Kim: Well, I saw him.
Earl: I killed his life, and he killed himself. You're lying!
Kim: Lying? You stupid, macho fuck! I can't believe this! I can't believe that I've been kissing your ass all these fucking years, and you're such a shithead! You didn't kill his life, and you didn't fuck his mind. You know what you did? You pissed him off. You really fucking pissed him off, and now you're fucked!