30 Best Ed Deline Quotes

Ed: And tell Warren I don't want another Akron!
Samantha: Why, what happened in Akron?
Ed: Unprofessional conduct.

Ed: Welcome to the family.
Danny: What?
Ed: If I catch you looking at another girl, take a poison pill, 'cause I'll kill ya.

Polly Nguyen: You have nice toes. My boyfriend ugly toe, but he big like horse!
[Holds up forearm with fist]
Polly Nguyen: I call him 'Meat'.
Big: Thanks for sharing, Polly.
Polly Nguyen: Sometimes he bangy bangy bangy, you know my head banging against wall, hurt so good you know?
[laughs]

Jillian: You know, Eddie, there are people that would question why we were married.
Big: Your mother doesn't count.

Monica: [to Ed about the waitress] You ought to fire her.
Ed: Are you a guest here?
Monica: Monica Wells, Moncor Construction.
Ed: Of course you are.
Monica: I am C.E.O. of one of the largest construction and engineering concerns in the world, Mr. Deline. I expect a certain level of service. Your waitress is a moron.
Ed: A moron? Despite the fact that you're a guest here, I would very much appreciate it if you'd try to treat our employees with just a little respect. The juice is on us. Thanks, Penny.
Monica: If she worked for me, I'd fire her.

Ed: Ms. Wells, I think it's time you left the casino.
Monica: Screw you.
Ed: Thank you.

Big: Listen, if there isn't a prostetic leg on this table in ten minutes, I'm gonna bitchslap you all so hard that your unborn children will come out well behaved!

Polly Nguyen: Sam would be very angry with me if you not let me give you special treatment.
Big: Yep.
Polly Nguyen: Sam funny girl. Nice little butt. Good shape. You like little butt, Eddie?
Big: Oh yeah.
[coughs]
Polly Nguyen: Maybe we have a three way.
Big: Hmm?

Frank: You know this is gonna cost.
Ed: 'Course it's going to cost. You think I expect this to come out of your pocket? What do you figure?
Frank: 200.
Ed: 200? What, are you getting it off the back of a truck?
Frank: That's thousand.
Ed: That's thousand? What, are you getting it from the Pentagon? This isn't a government job!

Martin: You know it's like when Sonny was talking to his brother in "The Godfather".
Ed: Never saw it.
Martin: Ed, it's a classic!

Big: If that leg's not back in the middle of this table in 10 minutes I'm gonna bitch slap every one of you so hard you're unborn children will come out well-behaved!

Big: Listen, if these guys screw up, I'm going to take your corpse and beat them with it!

[Ed helps Danny to avoid a court trial]
Ed: I told you the system worked.
Danny: The system or your system?

Big: Listen, if there is any trouble up there, let's keep these parties apart.
Danny: What do you want me to do, crutch 'em? I could hit their fists with my face.

Monica: [to Ed] Well, hi. Changed your mind.
Ed: Yeah.
Monica: I had a feeling that you wouldn't want to put your handsome young protege through the humiliation of a trial.
Ed: I called Malaysia and that deal that you were working on, it's not gonna happen. And the two projects in Taiwan and South Africa I'm afraid they're dead.
Monica: They've already been approved.
Ed: I guess they've been unapproved.
Monica: Don't kid yourself, Mr. Deline. You don't scare me. Is that a new experience for you?
Ed: That co-op that you were about to close on in New York that, too, has been unapproved. Apparently, the board of directors, they had a change of heart. I mean, go figure. And you'll be receiving a letter from Briarcliff Country Club that would be tomorrow. I think they're gonna ask for your resignation.
Monica: You expect me to believe that?
Ed: No. Not at all. I'd just make some calls and find out. Hell, you know what, I'm not even sure that your credit cards are any good anymore.
Monica: I'll see you in court.
Ed: You've got one hour.

Big: [Delinda was fooled by counterfeit chips] You took chips that look like they were made by a zoo animal! How do you think that makes me look? A, good, or B, not so good?

Ed: Hey, uh, you're not, uh...
Danny: No, no, I swear.
Samantha: Don't worry, the only one he's doing is your daughter.

Nessa: I've already reminded you once, Ms. Wells. Players aren't allowed to touch the cards.
Monica: What difference does it make? It doesn't change them. I'm not cheating.
Nessa: House rules.
Monica: For $500 a hand, I should be able to touch a card.
Nessa: Ms. Wells, if you can't abide by our gaming...
Monica: I'll abide by them as soon as someone gives me a logical explanation.
Nessa: Security at Table 6.
Monica: What is it with this place? Is no one trained to give a straight answer?
Ed: Well, yes, I am.
Monica: Here we go again.

Fred: Oh, don't call me a millionaire.
Ed: You're not?
Fred: [sadly] No.
[pause]
Fred: [smiles] I'm a billionaire.

Ed: [to Monica] Your note said you wanted to discuss a settlement.
Monica: You know, Mr. Deline, in my business experience, I have found that even the most antagonistic interests can resolve their conflicts if...
Ed: How much do you want?
Monica: I don't want money. I want justice, and when I called my company to tell them I might have to stay here to seek that justice, I learned something very interesting. Something that could benefit both of us.
Ed: You learned that filing false charges was a crime? I don't see how that benefits me.
Monica: I was told that you have an influential relationship with the Malaysian government. Actually, I was told you have influential relationships all over the world.
Ed: Who told you that?
Monica: You're not the only ex-CIA spook working for a major corporation. Here's my proposal: You help us get approval for several projects in Kuala Lumpur and my complaint against Danny McCoy goes away. It's a golden opportunity, Mr. Deline. My complaint is legitimate, but I am willing to sacrifice my dignity for the sake of my company.
Ed: How very noble of you.
Monica: So?
Ed: So I make a couple of calls and you withdraw your complaint.
Monica: Do we have a deal?
Ed: Not if you dragged my naked body over broken glass.

Tony: If this is just a friendly warning, why did you bring your muscle?
Frank: I'm not the muscle!
Tony: Really? Then what are you?
Ed: He's my brother.
Tony: You don't look like brothers.
Frank: We get that a lot.

Samantha: He's hot and he's dying. Of couse I did him.
Big: Well, at least he went out in style.

[Ed catches his daughter in bed with Danny]
Delinda: Hi, Daddy.
Danny: [voice-over] Daddy?
Ed: [to his men] Out.
Danny: [voice-over] Welcome to the worst day of my life.

Ed: [about his photo in newspaper] You noticed Botox? Yeah, I love that stuff. I drink it.

Ed: I'll tell him the tooth fairy told me or some friggin' thing.

Barnett: Your boss and I go way back.
Big: Way back, huh? What are you, 12?

[Ed and Paulie watch Danny convince a bum to leave]
Ed: He did a good thing. We'd have had that 40 grand back in a New York second. Kid did the right thing.
Paulie: Does this mean you're not still pissed at him?
Ed: What, are you nuts? I'm gonna kill him.

Ed: Would either of you want me on the jury?
Mike: Nah!

[closing lines]
Ed: [to sleeping Danny] I'll watch your back, son.

Ed: [referring to Frank's golfing] So this is how you spend your time now?
Frank: No, I've taken up knitting. Give me a few weeks, I'll knit you a sweater that looks like it was bought in a store.