The Best Frank Buffay Jr. Quotes

Frank Buffay Jr.: Hey, y'know, Alice is gonna be here so soon, you couldn't just like do me a favor and like, like hold them in?
Phoebe: Sorry Frank, I'm kinda in the middle of the last favor you asked me to do.

[Frank was supposed to name one of his sons after Chandler]
Frank Buffay Jr.: Chandler is a girl. Chandler is a girl.
Chandler: Hold on, kindergarten flashback.
Frank Buffay Jr.: No, there was a mistake. It turns out that we missed it on the x-rays, the baby was a girl after all. Chandler is a girl. Chandler is a girl. Chandler is a girl.
Chandler: Oh, please keep screaming that.

Frank Buffay Jr.: [looking at his sleeping triplets] I love you so much...
[he strokes Frank Jr. Jr. and he moves slightly]
Frank Buffay Jr.: [quietly] Oh crap! Don't wake up! Don't wake up!

[Phoebe is in labor]
Frank Buffay Jr.: Hey. I came as soon as I heard.
Phoebe: Hey. Where's Alice?
Frank Buffay Jr.: Oh, she's in Delaware. But, don't worry, she told me all about the lamazda training.
Chandler: Yes, that would be if you get the babies out by the end of the month, you get 2% financing.

Phoebe: They may be a handful, but they sure are cute. Oh, god. The last time I babysat them, they did the funniest thing...
Frank Buffay Jr.: I haven't slept in *four years*

Frank Buffay Jr.: What's with him?
Phoebe: Umm, sympathy pains. I thought it was really sweet at first, but now I think he's just trying to steal my thunder.