The Best James Michael Tyler Quotes

Charlie: Excuse me. I'm looking for someone. You don't by any chance know a Ross Geller?
Gunther: No.

Gunther: Oh, Dark Mother... once again I suckle at your smoky teat.

[Ross accepts some food from Gunther]
Dr. Ross Geller: Thanks, Gunther.
[Ross kisses Rachel]
Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, can I get a napkin, too?
Gunther: [looking daggers - nay, MACHETES at Ross] Oh, like you don't already have everything.

[Gunther tries to leave Monica's party]
Monica: [calls] Gunther! Where are you going?
Gunther: I um... was sort of thinking about maybe...
Monica: [insisting] No! No you can't go!
[Monica goes up to Gunther and pulls him away from the door]
Monica: [insisting] No! This is fun! Come on! We're just getting started! Here! Here's your marker!
[Monica gives Gunther a marker and walks away as Phoebe comes over]
Phoebe: [gently assuring] If you wanna go, just go.
Gunther: No. She'll yell at me again.
Phoebe: Alright. I can get you out.
Gunther: What?
Phoebe: Shhh. In a minute, I'm gonna create a diversion. When I do, walk quickly to the door and don't look back.

Rachel: Oh, I know, I know, it's-it's so, it's so totally like, "Whoa! Can we do this?" Y'know, I mean, but I mean it just feels right! Don't you think? It does! I mean, it just feels right, don't you think?
Joshua: Wow! Uh, Rachel uh, you're a real special lady, but my divorce isn't final yet and, and, and we've been on four days, so I'm thinking "No, but thanks."
Gunther: YOU IDIOT!

[In the Central Perk, Joey told Ross he likes Rachel]
Ross: I don't... Rachel?
Joey: Ross...
Ross: Rachel?
[Ross leaves; Joey turns around and finds Gunther right behind him]
Gunther: RACHEL?

Ross: Gunther! Gunther. Gunther, please tell me you didn't say anything to Rachel about me and the girl from the copy place.
Gunther: I'm sorry. Was I not supposed to?

[at Joey and Chandler's party, loud music is playing, the guests are dancing and there's an open pizza box with a partly eaten pizza on a table]
Monica: [holding a black bin bag] Could you guys please try to keep it down? We're trying to start a Bovril Tournament!
[Joey and Chandler look at each other and burst out laughing and Monica recognizes some of the dancing guests]
Monica: [shocked] You! And *you*! You're supposed to be at *my* party!
[the dancing guests look uneasy but continue dancing and Gunther appears]
Monica: [very shocked] And *Gunther*!
[Gunther looks down and Monica is in sheer disbelief]
Monica: [incredulous] *What* are you doing here?
Gunther: [trying to sound positive] Um...
[Gunther indicates the other dancing guests and continues dancing as Phoebe arrives with three guests from Monica's party]
Phoebe: [opens the door] OK! Welcome to the fo...
[Phoebe sees Monica and stops]
Monica: [disbelief] Phoebe...?
Phoebe: [making her point] Alright! I'm sorry! But these people *needed* me! You know they work hard all week! It's Saturday night! They deserve to have a little fun! Go!
[the guests join the dancers]
Monica: [making her point] *My* party is fun! Well maybe it's a little quieter, less *obvious* sort of fun, but you know if people would just give a chance it's a w...
[a volleyball hits Monica on the back of her head and she turns around looking very stern]

Joey: I don't know if you heard, but they killed off my character on the show.
Gunther: That's too bad. How did they do it?
Joey: I fell down an elevator shaft.
Gunther: That sucks. I was buried in an avalanche.
Joey: What?
Gunther: I used to be Bryce on All My Children.

- When are those gonna become extinct?
Chandler: If I was a superhero who could fly and be invisible...
- That would be the best.
Gunther: What does Rachel see in this guy?
- I love Rachel.
- I wish she was my wife.

[Ross is about to tell Rachel that he loves her before she leaves for Paris, but Gunther walks up to her first]
Gunther: I... I know you're leaving tonight, but I just have to tell you. I love you. I... I don't know if that changes your plans at all, but I thought you should know.
Rachel: Gunther... Oh... I love you too. Probably not in the same way, but I do. And, and when I'm in a café, having coffee, or I see a man with hair brighter than the sun, I'll think of you. Aw.
[kisses him on the cheek]

Joey: Hey, Gunther, have you, uh, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: [looking confused] I thought you were Chandler.
Gunther: [both look confused] But uhm, one of you is over there ...

Chandler: So, what do you do when you're not working here?
Gunther: You don't need to fill these silences.
Chandler: Okay, thanks.

Gunther: Hey buddy, this is a family place. Put the mouse back in the house.

Gunther: [after buying the sphynx cat from Rachel] I just came to pick up the red velvet pillow.
Rachel: Oh, sure - I'll get it for you.
Gunther: [to Ross before she leaves, referring to the cat] So what is this - some kind of snake or something?

[last lines]
Joey: [meets up with the friends at Central Perk] Hey guys, so I just called the Powerball hotline. Can you believe it? *Nobody* won.
Phoebe: Um, I beg to differ.
[Phoebe holds up a plate with two muffins]
Gunther: [passes by] Maybe nobody won the *jackpot*, but there was this guy in here earlier, and he found a ticket on the street, right outside and won $10,000.
[Gunther walks off, Monica sighs in disbelief and she, Chandler, Joey and Ross look at Phoebe]
Phoebe: [hides her mouth with her mug and speaks in a soft voice] Coo. OK. Don't blame the pretty lady. It's not her fault. It was me, the pigeon. Coo.
[Phoebe lowers her mug, sees that Monica, Chandler, Joey and Ross are still looking at her and hides her mouth again with her mug]
Phoebe: [soft voice] Seriously, stop staring at her.
[Joey looks around for the pigeon and Phoebe continues sipping her drink]

[Ross is looking for Chandler]
Ross: Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
Gunther: No, no, I haven't seen him.
Ross: [desperate] Oh, damn.
Gunther: He's getting married tomorrow, right?
Ross: Yes, yes. Don't worry. Everything's fine.
[Ross chuckles]
Ross: We'll see you at the wedding.
Gunther: [looks offended] I wasn't invited.
Ross: Then we'll see you the day after tomorrow.

Joey: Look, I don't usually ask out women that I meet in coffeehouses.
Gunther: [eavesdropping] Ha!
Joey: [turns around, sarcastically] Gesundheit.
Hayley: I would love to go out with you.
Joey: Really? Great... did I actually ask you?
Hayley: No, that's just where you were going. I just figured that I'd help you out; you don't seem like the kind of guy that does this a lot.
Gunther: Ha!
Joey: [turns around again] Seriously, Gunther - you should see someone about that cold; if it gets much worse you could *die*!