The Best Gannon Quotes

Captain: Frank won't be coming into work today Joe.
Friday: 24 hour virus?
Captain: Or tomorrow.
Friday: 48 hour?
Captain: Frank quit, moved to Ukiah, bought a goat farm...

Captain: [after waking Capt. Gannon and briefing him in the middle of the night] Friday, do you have any idea what time it is?
Joe: Yes sir.
[looks at his watch]
Pep: Oh, don't ask him that, Captain.
Joe: It's 4:27am, sir.
Pep: He lives for that. It's in his blood.

Mrs. Gannon: [In their home, they're watching a movie together on TV. The phone between them rings, she picks up] Hello?
Pep: LA Police! Captain Gannon?
Mrs. Gannon: One second.
[Hands the phone to Captain Gannon]
Mrs. Gannon: It's work, Dear.
Captain: [Taking it] Thank you.
[Into phone]
Captain: Hello?
Pep: [Frantically] Captain Gannon, this is Streebek. I'm up at the Ceas...
Captain: [Suddenly outraged] Streebek?
Pep: Yes! I'm up at the Caeser Mansion and I'm surrounded by PAGANS! You need to send in reinforcements! They have a small ARMY UP HERE!

[Friday's car was stolen]
Friday: With the exception of you and canned cling peaches I'd be hard pressed to find anyone or anything that doesn't know you should never leave your car keys in the ignition.
Pep: It's called a mistake, Friday, but I don't suppose you ever make any of those, do you?
Captain: Friday, Streebeck, we got another one. Chemical train hijack down at the freight yards. Damn Pagans must be living on No-Doz!
Friday: Yessir, Captain. We'll roll as soon as we requisition a new...
Captain: Oh, one more thing. Police and fire departments all over the county have been reporting vehicles stolen. So keep an eye on your car!