The Best Harry S. Stamper Quotes

Harry: AJ, I got just five words for you: Damn glad to see you boy!
A.J.: That's six words.

Colonel: This is insane.
Harry: [to Rockhound] Have you lost your mind?
Colonel: He's got space dementia.

Dr. Banks: [going through the roughnecks' medical reports] Fail. Fail. Depressively fail! One toxicology analysis revealed ketamin, that is a very powerful sedative!
Harry: Sedatives are used all the time, doctor.
Dr. Banks: Well this one's used on horses.
Harry: Some of these guys are pretty big.
Dr. Banks: [to Truman] You know, it would normally take 18 months to psychologically prepare pre-screened, viable subjects for space travel. We have seen evidence of a wide fariety of territorial aggression.
Dan: Can they *physically* survive the trip? That's all I need to know here, okay?
Dr. Banks: Personally, I don't know how they survived the tests.

Harry: None of you have to go. We can all just sit here on Earth, wait for this big rock to crash into it, kill everything and everybody we know. United States government just asked us to save the world. Anybody wanna say no?
Chick: 20 years. Haven't turned you down once. Not about to start now. I'm there.
Freddy: Guess I can't let you go up there alone.
Bear: I'm with you.
Oscar: Man, this is - this is historic. Guys, this is, like, deep blue hero stuff! Of course I'm in.
Rockhound: While I don't share *his* enthusiasm, you know me. Beam me up, Scotty!
Harry: You all right, Max?
Max: I-I don't, I-I don't... Whatever you think.
Harry: [to A.J] How about you?
A.J.: I'm in.
Harry: All right then. We go.
Rockhound: I don't mean to be the materialistic weasel of this group, but do you think we'll get hazard pay out of this?

Harry: I'm gonna give you three seconds to shut this bomb down, and then I'm gonna make you shoot me.

Truman: So what's the verdict?
Harry: They'll do it. They've made a few requests though.
Truman: Such as?
Harry: [riffles through sheets of paper] Well, there's uh, few things here, uh... nothin' really big, uh, just- Well, as an example, uh, uh, Oscar here, he's got some outstanding parking tickets. Wants them wiped off his record.
Oscar: [shouting from balcony] Fifty-six tickets in seven states...
Harry: [to Oscar] I'll-I'll tell 'em Oscar, you got it.
Oscar: Okay.
Harry: Uh, Noonan's got two women friends that he'd like to see made American citizens no questions asked. Max would like you to... bring back eight-track tapes. Not sure if that's gonna work, but, uh, let's see what else. Um, Chick wants a full week's Emperor's Package at Caesar's Palace. Um - hey, you guys wouldn't be able to tell us who actually killed Kennedy, would ya?
[pause, turns and shakes his head]
Harry: Um, Bear would like to stay at the...
[tries to read writing]
Harry: "White horse"?
[looks up at Bear]
Bear: White, *House*. White House.
Harry: White House. Yeah, he'd like to stay in the Lincoln bedroom of the White House for the summer. Stuff like that.
Truman: Sure, I think we can, uh, take care of... some of that.
Rockhound: [shouting from balcony] Harry!
Harry: [motions back at Rockhound] Yeah one more thing, um... none of them wanna pay taxes again.
[pauses]
Harry: Ever.

A.J.: Just tell Grace that, uh, that I'll always be with her. Okay? Can you do that?
Harry: Yeah. Okay, kid.
Harry: [pulls AJ's air hose out and rips off his own mission badge and hands it to AJ] Give this to Truman. Make sure Truman gets that! Get in there.
[pushes AJ back into the hatch and closes the door]
Harry: It's my turn now.
A.J.: Harry! Harry! You can't do this to me! It's my job!
Harry: You go take care of my little girl now. That's your job. Always thought of you as a son. Always. But, I'd be damn proud to have you marry Grace.
A.J.: [beginning to cry] Harry.
Harry: You take care of yourself.
[pushes a button sending the hatch up]
A.J.: Harry, no!
Harry: I love you,pal.
A.J.: Harry, I love you! Don't Harry! Wait a minute! Harry, no!
Harry: Goodbye son.

Grace: [talking to Harry when he is on the asteroid] Daddy?
Grace: Hi Gracie Hi honey. Grace, I know I promised you I was coming home.
Grace: I don't under-understand.
Harry: Looks like I'm going to have to break that promise.
Grace: I lied to you too. When I told you I didn't want to be like you. Because I am like you. Everything good that I have inside of me, I have from you. I love you so much daddy. And I'm so proud of you, I'm so scared. I'm so scared.
Harry: I know it baby. But there won't be anything to be scared of soon. Gracie, I want you to know that AJ saved us. He did. I want you to tell Chick, that I couldn't have done it without him. None of it. I want you to take care of AJ. And I wish I could be there to walk you down the aisle, but I'll... I'll look in on you from time to time, okay honey? I love you Grace.
Grace: I love you too.
Harry: Gotta go now honey.
Grace: Daddy, no!
[Harry cuts the video feed]
Grace: No no dad no!

Dan: Tell me, you never let anybody down before.
Harry: I never quit yet, how is that ?

Harry: How long you work for me?
A.J.: Five wonderful years.
Harry: In five years you have *never* apologized to me this quickly. Something's goin' on here, I'm gonna find out what it is.

Harry: For god's sakes, think about what you're doin'. Why are you listening to someone that's a 100,000 miles away? We're here, nobody down there can help us. So if we don't get this job done, everybody's gone.
Chick: One minute.
Harry: I have been drilling holes in the earth for 30 years. And I have never, NEVER missed a depth that I have aimed for. And by God, I am not gonna miss this one, I will make 800 feet.
Chick: 42 seconds.
Harry: But I can't do it alone, Colonel. I need your help.
Colonel: Do you swear on your daughter's life, on my family's, that you can hit that mark?
Harry: I will make 800 feet. I swear to God I will.
Colonel: Then let's turn this bomb off.

Grace: Listen, Harry, A.J. is my choice - my choice and not yours.
Harry: He's the only one in your age bracket, Grace. It's not a choice, it's a lack of options.

Harry: What's your contingency plan?
Truman: Contingency plan?
Harry: Your backup plan. You gotta have some kind of backup plan, right?
Truman: No, we don't have a back up plan. This is it.
Harry: And this is the best that you c - that the-the government, the *U.S. government* can come up with? I mean, you-you're NASA for cryin' out loud, you put a man on the moon, you're geniuses! You-you're the guys that think this shit up! I'm sure you got a team of men sitting around somewhere right now just thinking shit up and somebody backing them up! You're telling me you don't have a backup plan, that these eight boy scouts right here, that is the world's hope, that's what you're telling me?
Truman: Yeah.

Harry: Houston, you have a problem. You see, I promised my little girl that I'd be comin' home. Now I don't know what you people are doing down there, but we've got a hole to dig up here!

Rockhound: Yeah, I remember this one. It's where the, uh, the coyote sat his ass down in a slingshot then he strapped himself to an Acme rocket. Is that - is that what we're doin' here?
Harry: [under his breath] Rockhound.
Rockhound: No, no, really, because it didn't work out too well for the coyote, Harry.
Harry: [talking over him] Hey, Rock. Knock it off.
Truman: Well, actually, we have a lot better rockets than the coyote.