Top 30 Quotes From Jeremy Piven

Sir: What'd you say to Mecklen?
Buddy: What I've always been sayin', let's make the fuckin' deal.
Sir: You see... this is one of the rare moments, where your ass gets to be completely honest... and if i'm asking you what you said to Mecklen, assume the shit is rhetorical, assume I already know.
Buddy: What do you see right now? You see exactly, and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion Ivy, that is the lie that I tell your eyes, makin' the magic happen, in the moment, in that split second... but seeing behind this motherfucker and knowing... that it's all bullshit.
Sir: Yeah, you on some bullshit.
Buddy: But I can shape it, I can shift it, I can make it as real as this room. That's why i'm valuable here Ivy and that is why you are not.
Sir: I ain't valuable?
Buddy: I am sorry, I love you, I never wanted it to be like this, you know that.

Tick: The bigger the crime, the better the time!

Roman: Uh, can we help you?
Lenny: You've got an act called "The Quid Lickers".
Roman: We did, yeah.
Lenny: Hmm... And there's a singer called "Johnny Quid".
Roman: There was.
Lenny: Well, I'd like to see Mr. Quid.
Roman: I'd like to see him too, but uh that's gonna be a little tricky because according to the papers, the only songs Mr. Quid's gonna be singing are hymns
Lenny: And I shed a tear. I shed a tear for all those bone-tops that read the papers and believe that shit. But did you see his body? Did you see him smacked-up and cracked-up with his tongue on his chin and his cock in his hand, swinging from the rafters like a real RocknRolla? No, you didn't, did you? And nobody else fucking did either, did they? Because he ain't dead. He's alive, alive-o somewhere selling cockles and mussels and a very important painting that doesn't belong to him.

Marty: This your Beemer?
Paul: Yeah.
Marty: In Detroit? That's sacrilege!

Tick: [Marisa and her baby are hiding; Marisa's baby farts] Oh, are you kidding me?
[looks at a guard]
Tick: Was that you? Did you drop your transmission? Oh my god! Gentlemen, please! That smells like lentils and desperation! Oh my god, that's mental! It's following you! Get back on your marks! Focus! I'm blinded! OW!

Buddy: Will you tell me what that is?
Hugo: About what?
Buddy: Look at the coller on that coat... whats that look like, that stain?
Hugo: I dunno... Cinnamon roll?
Buddy: Cinnamon roll? the cinnamon, the roll of the cinnamon. That looks like jizz... ya Eastern European jizz, that looks like some fuckhead shot his load on a 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. The twist? Its my 12000 dollar calf's skin jacket. So ya got the semon, ok you got the human ejaculate
[checks watch]
Buddy: thats been allowed to soak in for like seven hours alright. Work its way into the fabric fuckin fibers...
Hugo: If you like I send out?
Buddy: ...To what? Incinerate? Hugo there isn't a fuckin laundry detergent or dry cleaning product known to man that will get that clean. Some shit, suffice it to say, just don't wash out.
Hugo: Do you want an apology?
Buddy: Only if you really truly mean it.
Hugo: Im very sorry,
Buddy: Are you a Collasal fuckin idiot?
Hugo: I am idiot.
Buddy: Get the phone, it's probably Mecklin. Get Fatolli up here and start cleaning all right? and please for me will you do one thing?
Buddy: [Card trick putting a card on Hugo's forehead]
Buddy: Get out of my fucking sight.

Ross: [after talking about something else] ... and now the killer video that kills you seven days after you watched it, we're the only station that has it and we are showing it all night
[Killer video plays]

Cindy: And now back to you, Ross.
Ross: I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.

Elongated: The squeaky wheel gets the grease, my friend. But I'll tell you, I wouldn't help those ingrates now if they begged me.
Wonder: [Flies down to them] We need you.
Booster: It's about time!
Elongated: Not you. Him.
[Points to Elongated Man]
Elongated: [to Booster] Squeaky wheel.
[Leaves with Wonder Woman]
Skeets: Maybe they needed a vase.

Tick: Time flies when you're having fun.

Danger: Life's too short for secrets.

Buddy: These flowers are wilted, I need you to call the florist.

Busch: Three guys with RPGs! Coming up on your side! Now!
[Somalis fire the RPG, striking Super 6-1's tail rotor. 6-1 is now spinning out of control]
Cliff: Stay with it!
Cliff: [on radio] This is 6-1. I'm hit. I'm hit.
Matthews: Super 6-1 is hit. He is hit. Wolcott's bird is hit.
Cliff: Hey Bull, you want to pull those PCLs offline or what?
Briley: Right, babe.
[6-1 is still spinning wildly]
Cliff: 6-1 going down, 6-1 going down.
Matthews: Super 6-1 is going down. He is going down.
[Various radio chatter repeating "6-1 going down", showing the Rangers on the ground looking up in disbelief at the spiraling chopper]
Cliff: Hold on!
[6-1's crew are bracing for impact]
Cliff: [Chopper strikes a building] Ahhh!
[6-1 crashes, blades flying everywhere]
Harell: We've got a Black Hawk down, we've got a Black Hawk down.
Matthews: Super 6-1 is down. We've got a bird down in the city.

Buddy: You're looking at me like, like... I just asked you the fucking square root of something.

The: Could it hurt them to show me just a little respect?
Elongated: Tell me about it, I've been at this longer than you and they still treat me like comic relief.
The: Better than being treated like a teenage sidekick! I mean, I was one of the original seven! Tell me the truth, Ralph, do I seem immature to you?
Elongated: Not in the least.
[Widen to show they are playing "Brawlin' Bots"]
The: Ha! I bopped your block off!
Elongated: That-that's not fair, the green guy's arms are longer!
The: Are not!

Captain: [as Mordru is captured] Nice work, Elongated Man.
Green: That was just about the slickest move I've ever seen.
Elongated: Hey, it was a team effort. I'm just glad I stretched in the right place at the right time.

Marty: Debi's house.
Paul: Kinda crept up on you, didn't it?
Marty: No, you drove us here.
Paul: [pause] Yep.

Buddy: These flowers are wilted, call the florist.
Sir: I need you to chill.
Buddy: I need you to call the florist.

Ross: Turning now to sports...
[Cindy types new text for the teleprompter]
Ross: and an evil video tape that kills anyone who watches it in seven days. It's true. We're all in danger. There's an alien force that's trying prevent you from knowing the truth.
Carson: Oh, no. Campbell, are you insane?
Ross: It's a horrible fate.
Cindy: Carson, I have to do this.
[Ward types his text]
Ross: Correction, there really is no danger. Actually, I didn't really mean anything I just said. Yes, I did. Every word of it. Everyone watching this could be dead in a week.
[everybody's fighting over the telemprompter keyboard, the janitor sits on it]
Ross: Oh, shizl gzngahr, % + 7, , 193419 ckin etd vaus erstn gubl chn q shnitzi guorsn blkn , , 18 469
[Janitor takes over the keyboard]
Ross: I been cleanin' after this dumb-ass cracker Giggins for ten years, but I been hittin' it with his woman for twelve. Know what I'm sayin', nigga? She likes her some chocolate. Sharpton for President y'all. I'm outie. Peace.

Danger: Time is the enemy of youth. I'm getting mine back!

Paul: I've got to get something off my chest. Have you been home to see the old house?
Martin Q. Blank: Yeah. Torn down in the name of convenience.
Paul: Yeah, I brokered the deal
Martin Q. Blank: Oh, wow. Wow.
Paul: I tried to get a family there, but Ultimart made the best offer.
Martin Q. Blank: Well, thank you for profiting on my childhood.

[Durant and Wolcott talk over the intercom as they fly past each other in their helicopters]
Durant: Six-One, this is Six-Four, go to UHF secure. I've got some bad news.
Cliff: Limo is a word, Durant. I don't want to hear about it.
Durant: It is not a word. It's an abbreviation of a word.
Cliff: Limo is a word in common usage. That is the key phrase in scrabble, my friend, common usage.
Durant: No! If it's not in the dictionary, it doesn't count.
Cliff: It doesn't have to be in the dictionary!
Durant: It does have to be in the dictionary! Listen, when we get back to base, it's coming off the board.
Cliff: You touch my limo and I'll spank you, Night Stalker. You hear me?
Durant: Yeah. Promises.

Mitch: Wow. Cheese. Is that you?
Dean: Hello, Mitch. Bernard. I see you guys haven't changed much.
Beanie: Who's this guy?
Mitch: Beanie, you remember Cheese, Rodney's kid brother?
Dean: Actually, my name's not Cheese anymore. It's Gordon Pritchard.
Beanie: Oh, yeah. Cheeeeeese. Yeah, didn't we lock you in a dumpster one time?
Dean: Yea, I got out.
Beanie: Cool man. Good. Glad you did.

Danger: You were right. You can't go back. I tried. My father still died. No matter what I tried to do to save him. He did tell me one thing that was very important. You have to live life moving forwards, not back. This time, I'm gonna listen to him.

Time: If time's the test, family is best!

[realising that Aces is turning him in to the FBI]
Sir: Sending me off like your last chip?
Buddy: You know I wouldn't.
Sir: You outta your fucking mind.
[reaches for his gun]
Buddy: If you...
[throws a card and cuts Ivy's eye]
Sir: Motherfucker!
[fires blindly]

Dean: Ladies and gentleman, please welcome, the co-host of CNN's Crossfire, famed political consultant, the raging Cajun, Mr. James Carville.
James: Thank you, Thank you, Dean Pritchard. It's an honor and a pleasure to be here, sir.
Dean: Topic number one. What is your position on the role of government in supporting innovation in the field of biotechnology?
James: Well, Dean, I'm, I'm glad that you asked that question...
Frank: Uhhh... Actually, I'd like to jump in and take that one, Jimmy, If you don't mind.
James: Have at it, Hoss.
Frank: [Frank takes a drink of water, makes a funny face and grunts] Recent research has shown that empirical evidence for globalization of corporate innovation is very limited and as a corollary the market for technologies is shrinking. As a world leader, it's important for America to provide systematic research grants for our scientists. I believe strongly there will always be a need for us to have a well-articulated innovation policy with emphasis on human resource development. Thank you.
[Frank grunts, makes a face and goes limp; audience applauds]
Frank: What happened? I blacked out
Dean: That was interesting. ha ha. Thank you very much. And, uh, your rebuttal? Mr. Carville.
James: Oh... It... We... have no response. That was perfect.
Frank: That's the way you do it! That's the way you debate!

Buddy: No, I tell you something. You know what? Listen to me. Listen. The deal is off in five minutes unless they give us something.
Morris: I don't know what to say to you. It is what it is.
Buddy: Bullshit! It isn't! I am not... I don't know how to say it any fucking louder. I am not giving up my boys. All right. End of fucking song.
Morris: And they are bricking us on that particular issue, pally. I've been cohabitating with these people for the last thirty hours. These are the premier prick cocksuckers of all time. I feel beaten by them; I feel bloodied. You're just gonna have to play ball.
Buddy: No. I don't have to do shit, which includes cooperating with these fuckers, until I get what I want! Listen to men. If we have to give them someone, give them Hugo, all right? I can take that, because he needs that regimented prison shit that they'll give him.
Buddy: It's bigger than that. They want everybody. Ivy, Beanie, Hugo, the works.
Buddy: This is not a fucking swap meet, all right Morrie? I'm not giving up my boys and you fucking know that. I gave you Sparazza. I'm gonna give them Sparazza and the west-coast syndicate gift-wrapped. Get it fucking done!
Morris: Listen to me, kid. Let's not antagonize this any more, okay? If we push this, they are gonna revoke your protective status and that nullifies any agreement we got. And that is mate. Checkmate, kiddo.
[Israel drops his cell phone in despair and rests his head on the piano keys behind him]

Elongated: [angry at being forced to do crowd control] This is so not fair! I mean, I realize Plastic Man is in the League too. I'm not dissing the guy's skills, but c'mon! Ihave it all over that guy! One time I disguised myself as a vase. For 3 days!
Booster: No you didn't.
Elongated: Okay, maybe not. Who'd want to anyway? But I am a detective, which means I'm like Plastic Man and Batman rolled into one.

Tick: No one ever notices time, until it's gone.