The Best Justin Pierce Quotes

Casper: Damn, Kim, your body looks fucking dope.
Kim: You think so?
Casper: Hells, yeah, I'm serious, yo. It's funny you don't know how dope a girl's body is until she takes all her clothes off.

Casper: Kim, I'll give you a dollar if you let me suck on your titty.
[she splashes him with water]
Casper: Nah, though, I'm serious. Either of you guys.
Kim: Casper, what really makes you think I'll let you suck my tits?
Casper: I don't know, man. They're just sittin' there all ripe and firm, n' shit. It makes me wanna suck on them.

Casper: How did she smell? Did her puss stink?
Telly: Take a whiff.
[Telly holds up his fingers and Casper smells them]
Casper: Mmmmm. Butterscotch, yo. That's the best.

[singing, drunk in a bathtub]
Casper: I'm Casper, the friendly ghost / The DOPEST ghost in town / All the bitches love me 'cause I'm fuckin' CASPER / The DOPEST ghost around.

Casper: Now get in my way, bitch!

Francis: Put Justin on the phone.
Justin: You the man, Francis! You the man!
Francis: Put Richie back on the phone.

Telly: I'm askin' you one last time. Do you got "dis-tick"?
Deli: What are you saying, "dis-tick"?
Casper: He said this dick, motherfucker!

Casper: That girl was 12, you hit that shit up?
Telly: Who am I? I'm the motha-fuckin virgin surgeon.

Telly: You got any money?
Casper: Three pennies and a ball o' lint, kiiiddd.

Casper: [last words] Jesus Christ, what happened?

Telly: But like, if you deflower a girl man, man, you're the man. No one can ever do that again. You're the only one. No one, no one, has the power to do that again.
Casper: Right. The way I see it. My outlook on the situation. It's like getting fame, you know what I'm saying? Say you was to die tomorrow right, fifty years from now all the virgins you ever fucked are gonna remember you. Right? They gonna tell their grandkids about that shit.

Telly: You happen to have dis dig?
Deli: Wha?
Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?
Deli: What is dis dig?
Telly: Dis dig.
Deli: What do you say?
Telly: This dig. I'm curious. Do you have it?
Deli: Wha?
Telly: Dis dig man. Dis dig, dis dig...
Deli: I don't understand... I don't understand you... uhhh.
Telly: OK... one last time. Do you have dis dig?
Deli: What you say... dis dig?
Casper: He said 'this dick', motherfucker! Don't you understand English?
Korean: Stupy fucky boys. Fucky.