The Best Kelly Carlson Quotes

Kimberly: FYI, I met some movie producers who think I'm the bomb. They can't wait to get into the Kimber Henry business.

Dr. Quentin Costa: I'm sorry, Kimber. This is very embarrassing. I'm completely starstruck. I've seen all your movies.
Kimber: How sweet. We have a new series coming out. It's called "Two Girls, a Guy, and a Cumface". It's loosely based on our personal experience.
Dr. Christian Troy: We'll be sure to send you the DVDs.
Kit: Porn's for fat kids. Why not offer him the real thing?
Dr. Quentin Costa: I wouldn't want to impose.
Kit: Christian won't mind a friend lending a hand.
Dr. Christian Troy: Not at all. Quentin, if that's what Kit wants. She's all yours.
Kit: If you like her movies, wait until you have her when she's not acting. She tastes like hot maple syrup.
Dr. Christian Troy: Kimber isn't a condiment from IHOP, sweetheart. She's not to be passed around the table.

Dr. Christian Troy: Maybe I should go take a shower.
Kimber: [knowing that he has been cheating on her:] Maybe you should make it a cold one.
[turns over on bed to go to sleep]

Kimberly: I don't understand this! I haven't heard form him since my operation. It thought that we were gonna be together.
Sean: Ms. Henry, I think you're confusing Dr. Troy's pleasant and very thorough bedside manner with real emotions.
Liz: If it's any consolation to ya, honey, you're not the first girl he's done this to, but at least you got a good set of tits out of it, so heal in more ways than one and just go on with your life.

Kimber: [In a dreamy way, typical of the show] Hey, sailor...
Dr. Christian Troy: [Surprised] Kimber... Uff.
[Looks at her with love]
Dr. Christian Troy: I missed you so much.
Kimber: Really? Because I didn't miss you. I know I said to you that I did, but no so much. I think I'm finally free now.
Dr. Christian Troy: Don't say that. You're the best thing that ever happened to me.
Kimber: And yet you stole my soul. I have to kill myself to get away from you. That was the only way out. And now Sean is killing himself too, Christian. If he stays with you, he's a dead man.
[Christian awakes]

Christian: Can I buy you a drink?
Kimberly: I don't drink.
Christian: May I buy you an appetizer?
Kimberly: I don't eat. I'm a model.

Kimberly: Death is just the ultimate orgasm of life.

Hank: You sold my Lamborghini?
Laurie: It's my car, too, Hank. You said to sell it and give you half.
[Laurie pulls out a $100 bill]
Laurie: Say hello to half.
Hank: Two hundred dollars? It's worth two hundred *thousand*!

Christian: Can I buy you a drink?
Kimber: I don't drink.
Christian: Can I buy you an appetizer?
Kimber: I don't eat. I'm a model.
[Christian gives up and is ready to leave]
Bartender: Another one before you hit the road?
Christian: No thanks, I have to operate tomorrow.
Kimber: Are you a doctor?
Christian: [flashes smile] Plastic surgeon.

[Nick Stokes is interrogating a hooker, who shows him the flyer that one of her client gave her]
Sally: There. I've never been to Hawaii.
Nick: No, me neither.
Sally: [In a teasing tone] I'd like you to take me in Hawaii.
Nick: I'm working.
Sally: So am I.

Ram: Don't you think that the little girl's gonna be a little bit better off with Kimber and me, rather than some punk who's willing to be filmed taking it up the ass so he could score a little bit more boo-yah?
Dr. Christian Troy: That's my son, you dick-sucking pimp!
Kimber: Didn't you guys know that Matt worked here? Oh yeah, Ram cast him in First-Time Fairies... as a bottom. That's the one...
Julia: Stop it Kimber, you're lying!
Dr. Christian Troy: Of course she's lying. That's the only thing she's good at... except for spreading her legs