Top 30 Quotes From Lizzy Caplan

Amy: [to an upset Sookie] Take a break. It'll do you some good.

Jason: How much V you got?
Amy: How far to your place?
Jason: Get in.

Jason: [about Eddie] All I'm sayin' is Lafayette didn't have to kidnap him and I'm pretty sure he left with some V.
Amy: Hey! If you wanna make the same arrangement with Eddie Lafayette's got, then have at it. This was just the only thing I could think of to get you out of blowin' your first vampire.
Jason: You done this before, haven't you?
Amy: Done what?
Jason: This! Kidnappin' vampires! Jesus! I should've known something wasn't right the second you walked into my life carrying that big bag of crazy! 'Cause any woman with a purse that big's bound to have something in it I don't wanna know about!
Amy: Jason, baby. You're sweet but you've gotta mellow out.

Agent: Do not fight that tiger, you WILL die!

Sookie: I've been admiring your necklace all day.
Amy: Oh, thanks. It's a lariat. I made it.
Sookie: You make jewelry?
Amy: It's a easy way to earn extra money. I can make you one if you want.
Sookie: Thanks, but I don't think my boyfriend much likes silver. You know my brother's a dog, don't you?
Amy: [confused] Sorry?
Sookie: He's all charm and smiles in the beginning. But the second he gets tired of you, he gonna stop calling. Before you know it, he's off with some other floozy. Not-not that you are one, but trust me. It's as regular as the seasons. You seem like a sweet girl, I don't want you to get hurt.
Amy: You know, I don't think Jason's realized even half of what he's going to be. I wouldn't be so quick to judge. I think you might be surprised at what he's capable of.

[first lines]
Peter: [narrating] Our world never stops moving. Changing. Evolving. Every day we go about our routines - work, home, family - but who are we? Who am I? You think you know your beautiful wife, your adorable kids, and who you work for. But what if you don't? And the truth, once you knew it, would change everything.
[the attack begins, then he awakes]
Alice: You have a nightmare?

Amy: [after telling Jason how she feels about him] Why is it that we all need to be loved, but then when somebody finally says, I love you, people just run scared?

Amy: [being high on V] I told you. It's better than sex.

Damian: [reading the entry on himself from the Burn Book] "Too gay to function?"
Janis: That's only okay when *I* say it!

Amy: Balance. Harmony. Beauty.

George: You know, here's a fun fact: only thing in London not rationed: Champagne!
Bridget: Champagne and Sex.
George: My God, Max. Your sister is obsessed.

Janis: Regina George... How do I begin to explain Regina George?
Emma: Regina George is flawless.
Mathlete: I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.
Amber: I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.
Kristen: Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.
Short: One time she met John Stamos on a plane...
Jessica: - And he told her she was pretty.
Bethany: One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.

Art: You tell me, Virginia, when is it ever absolutely equal between partners anyway? Huh? Where you both feel exactly the same thing for each other at the same time, in the same amount? If I want to, why can't I love her more than she loves me? No man's ever loved you more than you've loved him?... What?
Virginia: Only all of them. It sounds like I'm bragging. I'm not. I'm really not. It's sad, actually.

Amy: Withholding is tantamount to lying, and I can't have that in our relationship.

Bridget: Honestly, I'll miss the Blitz. I will. No one cares who does what to whom.
Louise: So we should be drinking to war! And freedom.

Agent: You're going to have to put it in your ass.

Agent: The CIA would love it if you two could... take him out.
Dave: Hmm?
Agent: Take him out.
Dave: Take him out?
Aaron: For drinks?
Agent: No, no, no. Take him out.
Dave: Take out... like to dinner?
Aaron: Take him out to a meal?
Agent: Take him out.
Aaron: On the town?
Aaron: To party?
Agent: No.
[whispering]
Agent: Take him out.
Aaron: You want us to assassinate the leader of North Korea.
Agent: Yes.
Dave: Whaaaaaaaat?

Student: Nice wig, Janis. What's it made of?
Janis: Your mom's chest hair!

Amy: [outside the bar] Hey you. Listen, you alright?
Sookie: Sometimes I wish I smoked, you know, so you could sneak outside without anybody knowing something's wrong with you.
Amy: [understanding] Okay. I'm really sorry about your cat.
Sookie: Maybe I shouldn't have come in today.
Amy: Yeah, I was gonna say why did you?
Sookie: I don't know. Maybe 'cause lately it seems like if I called in sick everytime somebody I loved got mudered, I'd never make it in for a single day of work.
Amy: Well, don't you think Sam would understand?
Sookie: I guess. But if I went home, what would you do?
Amy: Me? What's it got to do with me?
Sookie: Well, with Arlene doing nothin but showin' off her ring to anybody who will look at it, you'd be the only one waiting tables.
Amy: Yeah, she's gonna be a handful, that one.
Sookie: Can you imagine what she was like the first time she got married? What about you? You ever been married?
Amy: Is this the part where the sister asks what the girl's intentions are with her brother?
Sookie: Hm-mm. 'Cause right now I am all about protecting Jason.
Amy: He misses you, Sookie.
Sookie: Right.
Amy: No, he does. I mean, between your grandma passing and then what happened afterwords with you.
Sookie: He told you about that?
Amy: He couldn't not. I mean, he's a mess about it.
Sookie: Well you wouldn't know it.
Amy: Look, I know what you must think of him, and I get why you're mad at him, I do. But he loves you. You still got people around you who love you. And all I can hope is that maybe one day I can be counted in among those people.
Sookie: [pauses] You are way too good for him. You know that, right?
Amy: [almost laughing] Of course, I know that. I'm not stupid.

Debbie: Steve, I'm sorry, but well, Etan asked me to be his date to his Bar Mitzvah and I said yes.
Steve: What? You're dumping me for that snobby rich kid?
Debbie: Steve, I don't care that he's rich. I care that he's mature. I'm sorry, but I need a man, not a boy.
Steve: A boy? Could a boy produce tears this big?

Julia: I had to start carrying hot athletic shoes in my purse, because I have to sprint from one sexual encounter to another.

Amy: We honor Gaea, and seek the deepest relationship to her.
Jason: Uh, yeah. Me too. And Pluto can start bein' a planet again, connected to stuff.

Janis: [reading list the major cliques in high school] You got your freshmen, ROTC guys, preps, J.V. jocks, Asian nerds, Cool Asians, Varsity jocks Unfriendly black hotties, Girls who eat their feelings, Girls who don't eat anything, Desperate wannabes, Burnouts, Sexually active band geeks,
[a picture of herself and Damian come on screen]
Janis: the greatest people you will ever meet, and the worst. Beware of plastics.

Jason: [in his afterglow] God damn! You... you are not like anybody I ever met.
Amy: [lazily] Just gonna say the same thing. Jesus.
Jason: It felt like the whole world came together. Me, you, the bed, the house. We're all one big, giant...
Amy: Organism.
Jason: Yeah. Mine was huge. I never knew vamp blood could do something like this to you.
Amy: Know what? Neither did I. I mean I've had V partners before, but this was on a totally different planet. You're an extraordinary being.

Janis: [to the female student body] Okay, yeah. I've got an apology. So, I have this friend who is a new student this year. And I convinced her that it would be fun to mess up Regina George's life. So I had her pretend to be friends with Regina, and then she would come to my house after and we would just laugh about all the dumb stuff Regina said. And we gave these candy bar things that would make her gain weight, and then we turned her best friends against her. And then... Oh yeah, Cady - you know my friend Cady? She made out with her boyfriend, and we convinced him to break up with her. Oh, God, and we gave her foot cream instead of face wash.
[to Regina]
Janis: God! I am so sorry Regina. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big *lesbian* crush on you! Suck on *that*! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!

Amy: [Amy and Jason are entering Merlotte's] Intense! All these animals on the wall, it's like a natural history museum.
Jason: Hah! I never noticed them.
Amy: How could you not? Everyone of these animals lived a life full of experiences that we can't even imagine!
Jason: Does that weird you out? We could always go someplace else!
Amy: No, no. Everyone has to eat, right? We're all links on the universal food chain. See, squirrel eats nuts, snake eats the squirrel, gator eats the snake. And we can eat pretty much anything we want. It's the circle of life.
Jason: Jesus Christ, I wanna lick your mind!
Amy: Let's have lunch first.

Amy: I am an organic vegan and my carbon footprint is miniscule.

Virginia: Do you know the only thing more boring than a one-night stand? A whole string of them. On the surface, they may all seem different, but underneath, they're all exactly the same.

Holly: The Marshfield Fair.
Virginia: [over intercom] I'm sorry?
Holly: Candy apples. It reminds me of when I was little and my dad would buy them for me at the fair. They had this rich, crackly, toffee coating... I'm practically drooling just thinking about them.
Virginia: [to Dan] Not exactly the lubrication we were hoping for.
[presses intercom button]
Virginia: Thank you, Holly. Feel free to get dressed now.

Bridget: To my formerly perma-frosted brother. Thawed at last! By love.