The Best Mary Morstan Quotes

Mary: Solve it and he'll open the door, like he said.
Sherlock: I couldn't solve it before, how can I solve it now?
Mary: Because it matters now!
Sherlock: What are you talking about? What's she talking about? Get your wife under control.
Dr. John Watson: She's right.
Sherlock: Oh, *you've* changed.
Dr. John Watson: No, she is. Shut up. You are not a puzzle-solver, you never have been. You're a drama queen. Now, there is a man in there about to die, the game is on...
[shouts]
Dr. John Watson: *Solve it*!

Mary: You don't tell him.
- You don't telljohn.
- You're Mary Watson.
- Who are you?
[Whispers] Mary Watson.

Mary: People like Magnussen should be killed. That's why there are people like me.

Sherlock: Now, serviettes.
[pulls tray with two fancily folded napkins out from under coffe table]
Sherlock: Swan or Sydney Opera House?
Mary: Where did you learn to do that?
Sherlock: Many unexpected skills required in the field of criminal investigation.
Mary: Fibbing, Sherlock.
Sherlock: I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of...
Mary: I'm not John. I can tell when you're fibbing.
Sherlock: Okay. I learnt it on YouTube.

Sherlock: [after being head-butted by John] I don't understand. I said I'm sorry, isn't that what you're supposed to do?
Mary: Gosh, you don't know anything about human nature, do you?
Sherlock: Hmm, nature? No. Human?
[pause]
Sherlock: No.

Mary: Oh Sherlock,
[smiling at his jealousy]
Mary: neither of us were the first you know.
Sherlock: Stop smiling.
Mary: [Smiling bigger] It's my wedding day.

Mary: God, I had six months of bristly kisses for me and then His Nibbs turns up.
Dr. John Watson: I don't shave for Sherlock Holmes.
Mary: [sighs] Oh, you should put that on a T-shirt.

[last lines]
Dr. John Watson: This isn't a waltz, is it?
Mary: No.
Sherlock: Don't worry, Mary, I have been tutoring him.
Dr. John Watson: He did, you know. Baker Street, behind closed curtains. Mrs. Hudson came in one time. Don't know how those rumors started.

[Last lines]
Mary: But he's dead. I mean, you told me he was dead, Moriarty.
Dr. John Watson: Absolutely. Blew his own brains out.
Mary: So how can he be back?
Dr. John Watson: Well if he is, he'd better wrap up warm. There's an east wind coming.

Bill: All right, Shezza?
Dr. John Watson: "Shezza"?
Sherlock: I was undercover.
Mary: Seriously, "Shezza" though?
Dr. John Watson: We're not going to home, we're going to Barts. I'm calling Molly.
Mary: Why?
Dr. John Watson: [while holding up phone to ear] Because Sherlock Holmes needs to pee in a jar.

Sherlock: Sorry, that was one more deduction than I was really expecting.
Mary: Deduction?
Sherlock: Increased appetite.
Mary: [flashback to earlier] I'm starving.
Sherlock: Change of taste perception.
Mary: [flashback to earlier] Ugh, I chose this wine. It's bloody awful.
Sherlock: You were sick this morning. You assumed it was just wedding doubts. You got angry with me when I mentioned it to you. All the signs are there.
Mary: The signs?
Sherlock: The signs of three.
Mary: What?
Sherlock: Mary, I think you should do a pregnancy test.

Dr. John Watson: One word, Sherlock, that is *all* I would have needed! One word to let me know that you were alive!
Sherlock: I've nearly been in contact so many times, but... I worried that, you know, you might say something indiscreet.
Dr. John Watson: What?
Sherlock: Oh, you know, let the cat out of the bag.
Dr. John Watson: Oh, so this is *my* fault?
Mary: [Mary starts laughing] Oh, God.
Dr. John Watson: Why am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? The only one reacting like a human being.
Sherlock: Overreacting.
Dr. John Watson: [Yelling] Overreacting!
Mary: John!
Dr. John Watson: Overreacting! So you fake your own death and you waltz in here, large as bloody life, but I'm not supposed to have a problem with that, no, because Sherlock Holmes thinks it's a perfectly okay thing to do!
Sherlock: Shut up, John! I don't want everyone knowing I'm still alive!
Dr. John Watson: Oh, so it's still a secret, is it?
Sherlock: Yes, it's still a secret.
[looks around the crowded shop they are in]
Sherlock: Promise you won't tell anyone.
Dr. John Watson: Swear to God!

Mary: Oh, no, you're...
Sherlock: Oh, yes.
Mary: Oh, my god.
Sherlock: Not quite.

Mrs. Hudson: Oh, I'm really pleased, Mary. Have you set a date?
Mary: Uh, well, we thought May.
Mrs. Hudson: Ah, a spring wedding.
Mary: Yeah. Well, once we've actually got engaged.
Dr. John Watson: Yeah.
Mary: We were interrupted last time.
Dr. John Watson: Yeah.
DI: Well, I can't wait.
Mary: You will be there, Sherlock?
Sherlock: Weddings - not really my thing.

Mary: [Preparing to enter the drug den, John places a weapon in his waistband] What is that?
Dr. John Watson: It's a tyre lever.
Mary: [laughing] Why?
Dr. John Watson: 'Cause there were loads of smackheads in there, and one of them might need help with a tyre.

Sherlock: Right here, right now, what... is... she?
Dr. John Watson: [sniffs] Okay. Your way. Always your way.
[clears throat, places a chair in the middle of the room]
Dr. John Watson: Sit.
Mary: Why?
Dr. John Watson: Because that's where they sit - the people who come in here with their stories - the... the clients. That's all you are now, Mary. You're a client. This is where you sit and talk, and this is where we sit and listen, then we decide if we want you or not.
[All sit in their designated chairs]

Mary: People like Magnussen are meant to be killed, that's why there are people like me.

Dr. John Watson: The telegrams.
Sherlock: Right, um... Mm... First things first. Telegrams. Well, they're not actually telegrams. We just call them telegrams, I don't know why. Wedding tradition... Because we don't have enough of that already, apparently.
Sherlock: [reading] "To Mr. and Mrs. Watson. So sorry I'm unable to be with you on your special day. Good luck and best wishes. Mike Stamford."
Dr. John Watson: Ah, Mike...
Mary: Aw.
Sherlock: [next telegram] "To John and Mary. All good wishes for your special day. With love and many big..."
[pause]
Sherlock: "... big squishy cuddles from Stella and Ted."
Sherlock: [next telegram] "Mary, Lots of love...", Oh!
Dr. John Watson: Yeah?
Sherlock: [with precise diction] "... poppet."
[John and Mary giggle]
Sherlock: [next telegram] "Oodles of love and heaps of good wishes from Cam. Wish your family could have seen this."
[Mary's expression darkens momentarily]
Dr. John Watson: Hey, hmm?
Mary: Yep.
Sherlock: [shuffling rapidly through remaining telegrams] Um, "Special day." "Very special day." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." "Love." Bit of a theme, you get the general gist. People are basically fond.

[John goes to the house of crackheads with a tyre lever]
Mary: It is a tiny bit sexy.
Dr. John Watson: Yeah, I know.