The Best Max Lawson Quotes

Max: All right, Dekkom is trying to change the map of the world.
President: And what? Blame it on a computer glitch?
Max: Yeah, well, that and a dead president. He'll take office after wiping out everyone in the life of succession.
[the arena is destroyed by the lightning storm]
President: Dear God.

Max: I gotta show you something. Take a look at this.
Jake: [watching video] You remember that day Dad took us fishing? He dropped his cell phone in Key Biscayne.
Max: Our dad never took us fishing.
Dana: Oh. That's sad. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm not any good at the, like, "talk about your daddy issues" kind of friend thing. I just...
Max: What? No, no, no... It's a code.

Leonard: What the hell is Dutch Boy if not playing God? Ask Max. Science is all about playing God. Sometimes God doesn't play so nice.
Max: You know what my brother would say?
Leonard: What?
[Max punches Dekkom]

Sarah: Assistant Secretary Lawson, I'm not permitted to engage in casual conversation while I'm at a post. We are being watched. We're always being watched.
Max: Well, if we're always being watched, then what's the point of hiding anything?
Sarah: You're interfering with my duties. I'd rather not shoot you.
Max: Well, it would be an honor to be the first person that you kill.