The Best Mike Judge Quotes

Donnagon: Well, Cortezes, any last words?
Ingrid: None that I can say in front of my children.
Grandmother: Not to mention your mother.

[Felix has betrayed the Cortezes, the family he was assigned to protect, by taking the Transmooker from them]
Carmen: Uncle Felix, how could you?
Felix: I'm not your uncle!
Ingrid: But we treated you like family.
Felix: Donnagon said that if I joined him, he wouldn't get rid of me like he's gonna get rid of you guys.
Donnagon: Can't argue with that.

Donnagon: Where'd it go? Where'd it go?
Dr. Romero: I don't know.
[Gets nudged by Magna Man]
Dr. Romero: The Spork took it.

Bulldog: [to Frasier] Hey, there's my man!
Van: Welcome. Please take a workbook.
Bulldog: [to Frasier] Hey! I know you're down. Don't sweat it. Rookie mistake. By the way, the chick at the coffee table's got her high beams on.
[He barks]

Donnagon: Actually, my children are safe... somewhere in the Gobi Desert, I believe.