The Best Officer Debbie Fogle Quotes

Officer: Rosa, what would you do if you could do anything to Mr. Bean?
Rosa: Nothing.

Jake: All right, listen, Fogle. We have a councilman in the hospital and his shooter is still at large. We don't have time for this incompetence. I want your partner off the case, what's his name?
Officer: It's Raymond Holt.
Jake: Oh! It's Dad... I mean, Captain Holt! I mean, Captain Dad. I mean, Officer Holt. I mean, Officer Dad. Yep, that was it. Officer Dad, I found it.

Jake: The point is we all think Mr. Bean is sexy as hell and wish we looked exactly like him.
Officer: You're closer than you think.

Officer: Okay, I know you haven't done this in a while, so here's a tip... keep your hat on. Because of all the standing still, the pigeons think we're statues and they will poop on you or peck you. Both are bad.
Raymond: Thank you for the helpful tip.
Officer: Oh, I've got a ton of them. They're mostly about the dangers of standing. A year on the beat without prescription insoles can take two years off your life.
Raymond: Any way to speed the process up?

Jake: Mrs. Fogle, we weren't introduced. I'm Jake, Debbie's boyfriend.
Officer: You are? We are?
Jake: I mean, yeah, if you're into it.
Officer: I am. I do. See, Mom? I am with someone. All those psychics were wrong.

Charles: I was just wondering if you would like to take my place in a little squad competition today.
Officer: Mm. I can't do competitions. I'm anti-dexterous.
Charles: Hmm?
Officer: It's when neither hand is good at anything.

Officer: I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die before I ever got to find my twin sister's killer.
Raymond: What?
Officer: That's the reason I joined the force, remember? To find the man who murdered my twin sister. That's my whole story!
Raymond: Debbie, there's no you told me that.

Officer: [Really nervous] Oh, hey, Jake. What's... what's the deal with the office today? It... it feels crazy.
Jake: Somebody stole 20 bricks of coke and some machine guns from evidence.
Officer: What? It's the first I'm hearing of it.
Jake: Yeah, well, you just got here, right?
Officer: Right. I need you to find whoever did this and kill them... till they're dead.