Top 250 Quotes From Kyra Sedgwick

Brenda: With Capt. Raydor conducting a transparency audit on this entire division, you thought it was a brilliant idea to use one of our civilian techs to track a private citizen without a warrant?
Louie: Well, I wouldn't say "brilliant."

Deputy: Ashley was babysittin' for one of her professors, a Mr. Alex Banks, the man who drove her home the night she died; and, according to his wife, the professor had an affair with another student ten months ago.
David: How'd the wife find out?
Deputy: The professor paid for the young woman's abortion on his credit card.
Dr. Morales: Mm, careless. That's why it's a good idea to keep cash around the house.

Karen: Well, a good deed is its own reward.
Brenda: Sure, but a good deed and a life insurance policy is even better.

Mike: If you're guilty, then why can't you tell us how you really killed him - because Keith Milano was not strangled with anyone's bare hands? And we haven't found the implement that was used to choke him death.
Russell: Why do you care so much about that?
Brenda: Well, besides a passing interest in the truth, sir, if you brought that implement or weapon with you, intending to kill Dr. Milano, that is premeditated murder, and the DA gave you a parole date that you don't deserve; and, if you didn't kill Dr. Milano, and you're covering up for your son, then I should really be talking to him, sir.

Gavin Q. Baker III: Oh, my God. I was on the verge of having this entire case thrown out. Now it's up in the air. Where's Capt. Raydor?
Deputy: Sh-she's back in her office. Why?
Gavin Q. Baker III: I have to talk to her before another lawsuit is filed against you by the family of your newest dead suspect. You know, if you could afford it, I could drop everyone else in my practice and defend you for a living.
Deputy: You know, that man was going to kill me.
Gavin Q. Baker III: Maybe he thought he'd end up representing you in court.

Chief: I'd be curious how much farther you get in the next three hours.
Brenda: Three hours?
Chief: Because that's how long the FBI has agreed to share their material before they take over your case. That's what's been arranged.
Brenda: I did not agree to that.
Chief: Well, it's a good thing I'm not taking orders from you.

Brenda: Who else is comin' to breakfast, Switzerland?

Deputy: I can't believe I had to beg Pope to investigate this murder with ya.
Captain: It's hard being close to people you work with. It's always hard. You've got to be patient with people who drive you crazy. I find that good relationships sometimes depend on what you're willing to overlook.

Bill: It's crazy, you know, having a wildlife park in the center of a city. I look around at your little nature preserve and you know what I see? It's all fuel. And you, and you, and you - rich man, poor man, beggar man, thief, black man, white man, Deputy Chief - fire doesn't care about your name, or rank, or badge number. You're all just bite-sized lumps of flesh and bone in the flaming food chain. God, I'm hungry! How about you?
Brenda: I had a big lunch.

Brenda: We could wait here all day.
John: [amused] No, we can't. You're running out of time.

Deputy: So the baseball bat didn't kill him?
Dr. Morales: No. Though it probably really annoyed him as he was dying of a broken neck.

Lt. Andy Flynn: It's over, Chief! It's over.
Deputy: No, it isn't. I still have a notification to do.

Brenda: You're under arrest for the sexual assault of Michelle Clarke - and if you think that bein' the son of a sheriff's commander made you popular at school, just wait until you get to prison. Convicts even play some of the same games as you and your best buds. I imagine you'll end up in their... "cherry picking' club"... in no time at all.

Deputy: Oh! That woman!

Brenda: Do you think he might have been... involved with her?
Maggie: With Ray's heart, he couldn't raise a flag - and viagra would have been suicide.

Deputy: Oh, that woman!

Brenda: One count of rape won't put him away for life.
Russell: But establishing a pattern of behavior could.

Brenda: Now, if y'all excuse me, this old car needs to make another pit stop.

Sharon: Do you often use the name of a male supervisor to get what you want?
Brenda: Yes. Don't you?

[last lines]
Brenda: Col. Walter! Show yourself!

Brenda: [hearing about Raydor's retrement] But she hasn't found the leak yet.
Fritz: You don't believe there IS a leak.
Brenda: It doesn't mean I'm... right.
Fritz: Amazing.

Deputy: Do you know how hard it is to do your job while humoring so many difficult people?
Will: [taken aback that he's hearing this from Brenda, of all people] I might have some idea. Yeah.

Brenda: Did the coroner suggest how Mr. Adams might have died?
Andy: Yeah, he said it was... could be positional asphyxiation. But you can't tell for sure because there's so much of this guy you can't see. He's like an iceberg. He could have died from some bullet wound to the chest that never found an exit, or... Or...
Rest of the squad: Get out of the way!
Brenda: Or what, lieutenant?
Rest of the squad: - Move! - Stop!
Andy: Or... he could also have died from some bizarre traffic accident.
Brenda: Traffic accident?
Andy: Or maybe... an electrical fire. Chief, you know, I'm gonna have to call you back

Brenda: I hate to say this, Will, but this whole chief-selection process, it has not brought out the best in you, and if this is how you intend to run the department, I'm not even sure it's a job you should have.
Will: Well, you think you could do better?
Brenda: I'd be really disappointed if I couldn't.

[If Pope becomes Chief and Brenda becomes Assistant Chief, the position as the leader of Major Crimes becomes open]
Will: What about Taylor?
Brenda: What about him?
Will: You know, for Major Crimes. Well, think about it. He's been very supportive.
Brenda: So send him a basket of muffins.

Will: [summarizing the case] An "unidentified" woman may or may not have talked her "unidentified" boyfriend into murdering her, yes, "unidentified" husband.
Brenda: Well, there are a few gaps, but we're workin' hard on finding out who these people are, or were, anyway.

Deputy: [showing a cell phone picture to Lt. Flynn] Is this the man who attacked you?
Sharon: I should mention that if you positively ID the victim, then this case becomes mine, right now. On the other hand, if you don't recognize this man, then this case will be investigated by Major Crimes; so, bearing all that in mind, is this the man who tried to kill you?
Lieutenant: [obviously lying] It is hard to say. It all happened so fast.
Sharon: Very good.

Brenda: Thank you, thank you so much.

Sgt. David Gabriel: You brought your cat to a crime scene?
Brenda: It's not my cat, it just lives with me and eats at my house.

Chief: [On video] Hello, Raymond. Surprised to see me?
Raymond: Well, I didn't say Bloody Mary three times, so yes.
Amy: When did she record this?
Rosa: Judging by the flames around her, it could be a livestream.

Dr. Leonard: So, then, other than possible early onset menopause, getting engaged, having your parents come into town, buying a new house, and being attacked by a cattle prod then shooting and killing your assailant, there's nothing significant happening in your life.
Brenda: Why d'you have to say it like that?

Will: If you cancel this funeral and no bomb is found, you will embarrass the department and you will never be chief.
Brenda: [after a thought] I'll risk it.
Will: No, you won't.
Will: [announcing to all] Everyone, I'm canceling this memorial until further notice. My decision.

Brenda: How do you know he was killed in Mexico? It doesn't say so on the photograph.

Will: But what will your division think of me if I submit this untruthful report to the chief?
Deputy: That you are exactly who you said you wanted to be - just one of the guys.
Will: Well, what does THAT mean?
Deputy: We lie to you all the time. Everybody does. Robbery Homicide, Vice, Narcotics, even Traffic, heh-heh. It's the one thing that unites every division of the LAPD. We... we all lie to our boss.
Will: I-I don't... What am I supposed to say to that? What? "Thank you?"
Deputy: You're welcome. And, um, as far as the respect that my division has for you, I-I-I can assure you, Will, that nothin's changed from yesterday to today.
Will: Honestly?
Deputy: Honestly.

Brenda: So you both work for the Pruitts?
Gardener: Yes.
Brenda: And were you working at the Pruitt's house two evenings ago?
Gardener: Yes.
Brenda: And did you climb Mount Everest in your underpants?
Gardener: Yes.
Detective: Maybe this would go a little quicker if I handled it, Chief.
Brenda: You think?
Detective: Yes.

Brenda: It's funny, I... Sometimes I feel like I... pay more attention to what murderers have to say while ignoring the people I really care about.

Will: What's wrong?
Brenda: I just, uh... I just forgot to take Kitty out of my purse this morning.

Brenda: Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
Father: How long has it been since your last confession?
Brenda: Well, I almost got one last night, but the suspect, Manuel Rivera, a.k.a. Mateo Hernandez, was killed in the county jail.
Father: You say Manuel is dead?
Brenda: Officially... yes.

[Brenda's investigation leaves Alex's personal life in ruins, with strong parallels as to how the lawsuit may affect Brenda's professional life as well]
Deputy: I certainly know how hard it is to be accused of things you haven't done.
Professor: Yeah. I'm not exactly innocent, though, am I? That's the trouble. I cheated on my wife and my family - more than once, honestly, because I thought I could get away with it - but not every mistake can be fixed with an apology, no matter how sorry you are.
Deputy: Well, you're owning up to what you've done. That's a start.
Professor: At what?

Brenda: If you boys didn't kill off Angel and Jesse, and the One-Fives here have figured out some way to stroll down your streets and knock off anyone they want and then disappear into thin air, well, you're probably better off just shooting yourselves in the head right now and getting it over with. It makes me wonder: Who's the bitch now?

Brenda: [turning on the "stolen" car's radio] Ah. Classic music station.
Louie: Playing Beethoven - as everyone knows, the favorite composer for nine out of ten car thieves.

Adam: [to Holt, about Wuntch] You were not her greatest rival, and the proof is right here.
Chief: [On video] Hello, Adam. I may be dying but I burned down your cabin in Maine. You were my one true rival.

Brenda: Detective, what do you think of my lipstick?
Det. Irene Daniels: Uh... you asking me as a friend or the Chief?

Deputy: Someone paid this guy to kill Lt. Flynn.
Detective Lt. Provenza: I'm in violent agreement.

Brenda: I'd like to start with you, Ms. Powell. I'd like to say how sorry I am that I was unable to ignore your general level of incompetence in the wrongly obtained conviction in the case of Bill Croelick. And I'm sorry if you felt hurt and defensive about putting a man on death row for the wrong crime and I certainly hope that that will never ever happen again. Agent Jackson, I, I deeply regret that the FBI handed over two million dollars to a man on a terrorist watch list without the capacity to trace it, or managed to follow him for months without knowing his wife was having an affair with the doctor. And I hope you do much better in the future. Captain Taylor, I suppose I should apologize to you for not having been born in Los Angeles, but, having seen your work up close now for several months, I can honestly say that, try as I might, I can't think of *any* fair and reasonable system on Earth where I wouldn't outrank you. There, I hope that clears everything up. Well, excuse me, I mean, uh, I have to go. Thank you very much, Thank you.
Will: Well.
[Clears throat]
Will: she did say she was sorry.
[laughing]
Will: I'm sorry. Of course, this is - this is terrible. Terrible.

Brenda: Are you trying to encourage me or make me nervous?
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: I'm just trying to figure out why you're so damn confident you can get this woman to help you.
Brenda: Well, because, Will, I know a little something about admiring the boss and finding out he's not the guy you thought he was.

Captain: Officers Stern and Duran have been completely exonerated.
Brenda: And because of the way Force Investigation Division operates, I'll be investigation' the murder of more good cops just like them.
Captain: Excuse me?
Brenda: When officers are shot and killed in the line of duty, they're investigated by me; when they shoot back, they're investigated by you. That means that they'll think twice before defending themselves. That hesitation will mean that more good cops will die, and I have to ask: Have you ever considered what your principles cost?
Captain: Seventy million dollars. That was the settlement in the Rampart case. One hundred - that's how many convictions were overturned due to renegade policing and lack of oversight in one division alone, not to mention the loss of trust the LAPD needs to remain effective.
Brenda: [taking it in] There has to be a better way.
Captain: Well... until then, you've got me.

Clay: If you don't pull it altogether, Grady's gonna think something's wrong.
Brenda: Something IS wrong, Daddy. I have to tell that boy, tomorrow, that his brother's dead.
Clay: No, you do not. You're gonna tell him that Wesley's working with the police, undercover, until the kid gets used to not seein' him.
Brenda: How much longer do you think Grady's gonna believe that?
Clay: You told your mother you were a professional liar. I think you could figure out something to tell him. Make him believe it.

Brenda: I could be more help if I knew something about what you're investigating.
Sharon: [Smiling indulgently] You'd be surprised how many people think that.

Agent: It's hurtful, isn't it, when someone thinks their job - I mean, their JOB - is more important than what a... another person might want or need? Is there anyone else we know who you think might sometimes behave like that? Hm? Anyone?
Deputy: Oh, my gosh. Doctors!

Fritz: Are there any questions?
Brenda: Well, yeah. How did Austin Blair end up dead?
Special: We don't know.
David: Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. We track this guy down, we find the body, and you guys tell us nothing? I mean, this-this-this is our big briefing?
Will: Yeah. Welcome to the FBI, everyone.

Sharon: As good as Coach Carr's intentions are, his actions were illegal.
Brenda: Or you could say that the challenges he faced at work forced him to look for unorthodox solutions; and now, for goin' above and beyond the call of duty, he'll probably lose his job.
Sharon: Well, maybe it's time for him to move on.
Brenda: I don't know. He seemed to be doin' important work... even if it wasn't fully appreciated by his boss and fellow teachers. There's something about that I find... admirable.
Sharon: Me, too.

Brenda: Do I look hurt to you, Will?
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: No. Unless I'm mistaken, that's your angry face.

Julio: I got ahold of the principal at Skander's school personally... And she just sent me the student roster. There's no Rudy, Rudolpho, Rudolph...
Andy: No Donner, no Blitzen...
Brenda: Lieutenant...

Sharon: Did you know that there was a strong likelihood that after you dropped Mr. Baylor off at his home he'd be beaten to death by his fellow Crips?
Brenda: I did not know that... but I do like happy endings.
Sharon: And that answer is exactly why we're not recording this interview.

Brenda: You don't understand my daddy. When he wants something, he will not stop until he gets it. Trust me on this.
Fritz: So it runs in the family, then.

Brenda: Besides, I've come up with a plan that I think covers everything.
Fritz: It's not suicide, is it?
Brenda: [sarcastically] Ha ha.

Deputy: You lied about going on a date, about being in her apartment, and you lied about having sex with her.
Fritz: When you say it all out loud like that, it sounds pretty bad.

Brenda: Mama, why are you readin' yesterday's newspaper?
Willie: Your father has today's. I'll read that one tomorrow.

Fritz: Don't be late. You got a big day tomorrow.
Deputy: So everyone keeps telling me.

Deputy: [as she's carried down the stairs over the shoulder of a bomb squad member] I could walk this, you know.

Brenda: [wearing a wedding dress] Who designed this veil, the Taliban?

[describing the victim based on his severed head]
Deputy: Could you go back to the office, please, and search the missing persons database for a white male, early thirties, brown hair, brown eyes. Height?
Lt. Mike Tao: He's at least two feet.

David: I, uh, pulled the file on the, uh, vandalism bust, and apparently Mr. Melman broke into his high school, where he, uh... defecated on the principal's desk.
Deputy: Ew!
Louie: Which means he's been dropping bombs his whole life.

Dep. Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: How'm I gonna tell that man his wife was eaten by coyotes?

Brenda: [examining the recording device from the victim's chest] Is it one of ours?
Buzz: Well, that's hard to tell. I mean, you can buy this at any electronics store, though this one looks brand new.
Andy: Well, there's your answer. If it's new, it can't be LAPD.

Brenda: Chief Pope. How is this my fault?
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: Well... three words: Flynn-and-Provenza

Brenda: Killin' someone's not my idea of closin' a case, anyway.

Mike: Martin Lawson, murdered his mother. He was convicted in June of '94.
Russell: He came at Flynn in court... swore his brothers would get Flynn for calling his mama ugly.
Detective Lt. Provenza: That's what got him talking. Flynn is the guy that broke him.
Lieutenant: By the way, his mother was ugly.
Deputy: What are you doing here? You've got over 30 stitches.
Lieutenant: Look, if you're trying to find somebody connected to me... don't you think you have a better chance identifying them with my help?
Detective Lt. Provenza: Chief, don't worry. He won't do much. Like usual. It's just until we make the guy and then Flynn is going home.

Chief: Oh, Raymond, that you came to me to ask for help shows how much you've matured. You know what else shows how much you've matured? Your withered face.
Captain: Now I know why you refer to this as a Suicide Squad, Peralta, because I already want to kill myself.
Chief: Why don't you wait a week? You'll probably die of old age.
Captain: The only way I'm going to die is if you touch me with one of your bony fingers and drag me across the River Styx, you reaper.

Jake: The point is, without any good leads, Kelly will give the order to use the stingray an order that we will record thanks to our very own Madeline Wuntch.
Chief: Not possible. Kelly won't tell me anything. He won't even meet with me.
Captain: Perhaps you can sneak in disguised as an old leather chair.
Jake: Will you calm down? She works at One Police Plaza. All you have to do is run into him.
Chief: [fantasy scene] Commissioner Kelly.
John: Oh, Madeline. I didn't see you there. I thought you were an old leather chair.
Jake: [reality] He's not gonna say that.
Captain: He might.

Fritz: Why are you interested in a missing gnome?
Brenda: 'Cause he saw the murder, up close and personal.

Deputy: [to Provenza] Much as I'd like to see you break your own record for procedural violations in a single shift, I'd prefer if you and Lieutenant Flynn found Mr. Serabian and kept him under surveillance. Do I need to explain how that's done?

Brenda: We almost met in court.
James: Yes. Yes, I remember your hair and your voice. It's odd.
Brenda: Well, thank you. That's... Thank you.

Brenda: [Introducing Fritz to a young witness] Um, this is Keith. Keith, this uh...
FBI: Hi Keith, I'm Fritz. I'm Brenda's...
FBI: [to Brenda] I was going to say 'boyfriend', but I've got a feeling that's a dirty word around here.
Brenda: Oh, you're just too sensitive, that's all.
FBI: See, I thought girls liked that.
Brenda: Oh, that's just something we say.

Brenda: Let's talk a little about last night. Why were you in that particular part of Griffith Park?
Rusty: I like the view from up there.
David: There... was no view from where you were.
Rusty: That's what I like about it.

Brenda: I thinking that whoever killed Doug Courtney's gonna be very surprised when he pays them a visit.

Agent: Is this official?
Brenda: Oh, of course. Yeah. I'm just a little behind on my paperwork, that's all.

Brenda: Do you know why your father tried to kill you?
Armand: It's a long story. You want the one that starts in the 14th century or today?
Sharon: In the interest of time, just as far back as necessary.

Brenda: Commander, you are still our liaison to the press, are you not?
Russell: Right.
Brenda: Well, then, could you please... "liaise?"

Brenda: Gentlemen, thank you so much for joining us.
Enrique: You're welcome, bitch.
Brenda: Well, so much for hello.

Brenda: Lieutenant Flynn... Your resignation surprised me most of all. The whole time I've been here you've never said one complimentary thing about or to me.
Det. Andy Flynn: Chief, you have really great legs.

[repeated line]
Brenda: Oh! That WOMAN!

Brenda: If the autopsy report reads accident...
Will: Yeah. Or suicide. Suicide would be great.
Brenda: ...I'll be sure to let you know.
Will: Don't make work for yourself.

Deputy: Did I ever once imply that I would allow y'all to make up the rules as you went along?

Deputy: Mr. Cooper, I'm sorry to inform you that your partner, Milo, died of a heart attack today when your store was robbed.
Jerry: What? You're t... t... telling me...
[sobs]
Jerry: ...we were *robbed*? Oh, my God. Tell me, what did they take?
Captain: Did you hear the part about your partner dying of a heart attack?

[while watching a broadcast of the press conference]
Lieutenant: So, that's the big announcement, huh? We're getting a new chief. Who do you think it's gonna be?
Commander: Oh, I think we already know.
Deputy: Do you really think that Will... Chief Pope is going to take over the entire department?
Commander: I do.
Agent: From the look on his face, so does he.
Deputy: THAT'S why he loves this building so much. He thinks it's his!

Russell: Chief, the fact that you made the short list for Chief of Police and Pope didn't, well, he's, um... he's a little bit off-balance.
Brenda: Then straighten him out, please. I'm not about to let the killer of three American soldiers go free just because his nose is out of joint.

Deputy: Just... go home.
Det. Lt. Provenza: Is that how they say "You're fired" in the South?"

Brenda: We're already nowhere, Sergeant. It's hard to imagine how things could get much worse.
Louie: [seeing reporter Ricardo Ramos enter] I don't think you should've said that out loud, Chief.

Dr. Morales: Notice anything unusual about your vic's face?
Dep. Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: Don't make me guess.
Dr. Morales: Coyotes always feed on the body's soft tissue first. My guess is they left her face alone because of the seasoning.
Dep. Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: Excuse me?
Dr. Morales: Someone doused your vic with pepper spray, which might explain why she drove off the cliff in the first place.

Brenda: So, how you doin'?
David: I'm, uh... I'm kinda pissed at being shot at.

Det. Lt. Provenza: I like it right there, your picture.
Brenda: Lt. Provenza, what're you doin' here, it's late! Why aren't you home?
Det. Lt. Provenza: Course ideally, you'd hang it up right now and put it where it belongs, or pragmatically you might just set it down on the floor. But see, your instinct is to split the difference so that even if it's not perfectly placed, you can still see it.

Brenda: I speak German, Russian, and I'm fully conversant in Czech. And I have to move to the one city where half the people are from Latin America.

Julio: The important thing here, Chief: J-Rock was killed by his own gang.
Brenda: Like Turell.
Julio: Like Turell. That's not done without permission.
Brenda: So, who's the shot-caller inside the One-Ten-Crips? Is there a way to follow the money trail on an inside gang killing?
Julio: It's all cash business, but we could look back to see if any of the One-Ten-Crips spent a lot of money after Turell died, but that's only gonna help get the kids who did the dirty work and not the guy in charge.
Brenda: If whoever ordered the hit on J-Rock also ordered the hit on Turell, then all this violence goes back to the convenience store Turell robbed, the owner and his grandson that he shot to death.
Julio: Looking at that store - s'a good idea. It was protected. There's gotta be a reason for that.
Brenda: Maybe we should also find out who paid for the funerals of that poor old man and that little boy.
Julio: Not we. You.
Brenda: Whadda you mean?
Julio: Chief, Goldman's here, in this print shed, right now. Everything that you say and everything that you do will get back to him. You need to follow up without us. When you're not sure who you can trust, Chief - don't trust anyone.
Brenda: But, Julio, these people are my friends.
Julio: That's what J-Rock was thinking when he parked the car.

[running gag on word choice]
Deputy: So how does a criminal with a drug history end up dead in the bathroom of a stewardess's condo?
Julio: Uh, I think they're called "flight attendants" now, Chief.

Deputy: Good, 'cause I've got some questions for you.
Lieutenant: Like who would want to kill me?
Deputy: Lots of people, I'm sure, but who would actually go to the trouble?

FBI: We're not going to get in anybody's way, trust me.
Deputy: I stopped believing boys who said, "Trust me" when I was sixteen.

Rick: You know it's illegal to question me without my attorney present, although I *love* that you guys are doing something illegal.
Deputy: Always nice to meet someone who understands their rights.
Rick: Mm, once you've had them taken away, you appreciate them more.

Eugene: [smugly] So, do I have to talk to you guys?
Brenda: Absolutely not, but I'd really like to hear about your sailing trip with Dr. Schafer.
Eugene: Mm-hm.
Brenda: Because there's nothing worse than putting the wrong man on trial, especially for murder, and around here we like to learn from our mistakes.
Eugene: Yeah? Well, you guys should be geniuses, then, all the mistakes YOU make.

[about the interview with the mayor to become Chief of Police]
Captain: Chief, if you don't at least attend this final interview, the women of the LAPD will be completely demoralized, and many of them will never forgive you. Ever.
Deputy: Well, can I just skip the whole prep part? I'll just go in there and be myself.
Captain: That is a *terrible* idea.

Captain: Wuntch.
Chief: Hello, Raymond. You're looking old and sickly.
Captain: So nice of you to greet us, Madeline. I thought surely you'd still be crushed under that house in Munchkinland.
Chief: Sticks and stones, Raymond.
Captain: Describing your breakfast?

Brenda: "If" is a very hard word to live with.

Brenda: Daddy, you wanna know why I'm late? I been listening to a man tell me how he stabbed 16 women to death!
Clay: Well, I love you, too.

Deputy: What makes a child go bad? Nature or nurture?
Lieutenant: Unfortunately, Chief, by the time we get involved, it really doesn't matter.

Brenda: I'm alive, but I am *not* okay.

Chief: I like to have people in their proper places. You, for example, would make an excellent assistant chief of operations.
Brenda: That's Will Pope's job.
Chief: And I'd like someone with more hands-on experience in his position.

Donald: So now you're ready to believe maybe I really did murder those seven people?
Deputy: I'm starting to, yes.
Donald: Then I'd like to withdraw my confession.

Mr. Eckert: That casket left my funeral parlor with one body in it. Only one, I swear.
Brenda: And how can you be sure of that, sir?
Mr. Eckert: Because at Sheffield and Eckert I'm what's known as the closer.
Brenda: Scuse me?
Mr. Eckert: I'm the last person to view the body, and then I close the coffin - tight.

Brenda: [to Capt. Raydor] I'm not goin' anywhere with you. I can't stop FID from interfering, but if you wanna be involved, you're gonna have to follow me.

Brenda: And how did you find him with only his cellphone number?
Louie: Uh, we... Triangulated his location.
[Clears throat]
Louie: By using, uh, the Catfish.
Brenda: You don't know how to use that.
Andy: Buzz does.

Brenda: I remember once hearin' a speech about what it meant to be an officer of the CIA and the man who gave this speech talked about the struggle to control civilization and how we're always fightin' the same fight, and he used the dark ages as an example. And he talked about how on the one side you had the pragmatic king who was greedy and power hungry and basically took advantage of people whenever he could. And on the other side you had the idealistic church forcin' everyone to follow the same rules, believe the same thing, and all that. Neither the king nor the church was ever completely right or wrong, both sides ended up doin' terrible things to get what they wanted, really terrible things. The point of the story was this, that this struggle from the dark ages had been goin' on forever, and the church and the king might take on different philosophies but they would always fight each other, pragmatists and idealists, and at most times, you're better off standin' on the sidelines, lettin' them duke it out. But every once in a while, one side or the other decides it might be better just to blow up the whole world just to get its own way and when that happens you can't stand on the sidelines any more. You have to pick a team. So for tonight anyway, we're servin' the king.

Captain: Look, whether or not you like it - whether or not I like it, frankly - I have to finish this audit, which means I need to speak to your people.
Deputy: No, you don't. You're questioning my investigation and my orders. That audit should begin and end with me.
Captain: But it won't.

Deputy: [In Interview Room] You know, the justice system works pretty well, until someone starts thinkin' that they're smarter than the Sheriff's office, the FBI and the entire LAPD combined. Do you see what happens when you throw away the rule book, Deputy? People die.
Deputy: I'm sorry.
Captain: [In Media Room, speaking to Pope and Fritz] You think she's conscious of what she's saying? Somebody may wanna play back this part of the interview for her when she gets home tonight.

[Sgt. Gabriel, suspended for beating a suspect, finally returns to the office]
Deputy: [on her way out with Lt. Provenza] Oh, Sgt. Gabriel... uh, if you could, please, babysit the suspect while I'm gone?
[Gabriel silently accepts]
Deputy: Thank you.
[Johnson leaves]
Detective Lt. Provenza: [in passing Sgt. Gabriel] There's no need to beat information out of this old man. He's been confessing all morning.
[Gabriel silently goes on about his duty]

[Brenda gives an assignment]
Deputy: Consider this your chance to prove that the women weren't using you.
Andy: And if they were?
Deputy: Use 'em back.

Deputy: The doctor said we're in no danger of losing Daddy.
Willie: I'm not afraid of losing him. I'm worried about how to keep him.

Brenda: We are running him down the flagpole and that's all that there is to it. If you want to examine the body, you may do so after I'm done.
[Albert's body comes crashing through the window]
Brenda: I'm done.

Brenda: I never bluff, Sergeant. I merely express my optimism forcefully.

Fritz: Brenda, the evidence isn't lost. It's just... out for a joyride.
Deputy: I don't need sarcasm. I need the evidence.
Fritz: Well, don't look at me. The FBI stopped manufacturing evidence in the late '90s.

Brenda: Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson:
[to Detective Dick Tracy]
Brenda: Mr. Baird, this is not a game where one of us says,"It was done in the library with a candlestick by Mr. Mustard!"

Fritz: [at home] Joel misses you. He's purring. Can you hear that?
Brenda: [at the office] Well, tell Joel I slept here last night because I had a 12-year-old murder victim in the morning, my two primary suspects turned up dead in the afternoon, and last night when I found the killer, it turned out she'd been gang-raped for the last three days.
Fritz: Well, I'm not telling Joel any of that. He's still just a kitten.

Clay: Brenda, don't make things worse by tellin' stories. Now, your mother and I canceled plans to go to St. Augustine, where we were gonna meet up with your brothers, sisters-in-law, all your nieces and nephews - you understand? - because you said that you were gonna be home for Christmas.
Brenda: But I WAS comin' home.
Clay: But not to see us.

Chief: Hello, Raymond. How do you like my new office? Twentieth floor.
Captain: Yes, I never thought I'd see you this high without a broom under you.

Captain: Chief Johnson, did you know that Mr. Baylor would be murdered after you dropped him off at his house?
Deputy: I'm not a fortune-teller. He asked me to take him home. I took him there.
[Delk, Raydor, and Pope exchange unsettled glances; Brenda glares at them]
Deputy: I did *nothing* wrong.

Will: May I see you for a moment, please?
Brenda: Well, I'm just about to head into an examination.
Will: Let me rephrase that rhetorical question: I want to speak with you - now.

Fritz: She's inconsiderate, she is difficult, she's completely self-centered, she's disrespectful...
Brenda: She's sixteen. What else would she be?

Fritz: Would you really have arrested her?
Brenda: No.
[kisses him]
Brenda: I would have let you do it.

Brenda: You're the one who wants kids.
Fritz: I wanna be ignored and alienated by my own children, not someone else's. She's going home - tonight.

David: Chief, are you SURE you've recovered enough from your surgery to be doing this?
Dep. Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson: I have a note from the doctor, Sergeant. You can read it if you'd like.

Brenda: How about you, Bill? Anyone special in your life.
Bill: Oh, no. I'm still carrying a little torch for you.

David: So, Mr. Perez, we're investigating Mr. Michael's death and...
Bruno: I know. And you have to start admitting it was an accident instead of acting like he offed himself.
Brenda: Is that what we're doin'?
Bruno: Well, you're being very tight with the details, and in this new media environment - which is very difficult to explain to someone your age - Missy's about to become a star; so, going around saying her dad jumped off a cliff because he gambled everything on her and thought he lost - that's not good. I mean, I totally get it looks better for you guys to call it a suicide, but why should Missy be punished because it took you five days to find him? It's not her fault.

Will: Why is your whole squad here on a Saturday?
Brenda: [sighs] Because killers work weekends, too, Will.

Marie: Oh, my God. I just realized I never had sex with a dead person before.
Deputy: Well, presumably he wasn't dead when you had sex with him. Was he?

Brenda: Oh, I was thrown off when he threw up!

Dr. Morales: You know that moment every year when it suddenly begins to feel like Christmas?
Brenda: Yes?
Dr. Morales: Not happening for me.

David: Well, looks like we found Cinderella.
Brenda: Yeah, but who turned him into a pumpkin?

[Captain Raydor is investigating the aftermath of a fatal shoot-out between police and suspected drug dealers]
Deputy: I never discharged my weapon.
Captain: Good. At least you won't be the subject of another lawsuit.
Deputy: Day's not over yet.

Brenda: We really just wanted to eliminate you and your wife as suspects.
Davis: You want to eliminate me as a suspect?
Laura: All right, honey.
Davis: Was it a long painful death? Was he brutally tortured before he died?
Will: No.
Davis: Then it wasn't me.

Brenda: Do you wanna know my symptoms?
Dr. Morales: Do you have insurance?
Brenda: Yes.
Dr. Morales: Then see your own doctor. If you end up dying, I promise to find out why.

Brenda: If you don't mind, Lieutenant, I like to have the answers before I ask questions.

Brenda: Why'd you keep Eric's clothes?
Kim: They're nice. His stuff is nice.

Captain: I think that we should capitalize on your feminine strengths.
Deputy: Which are?
Captain: Uh, don't take this the wrong way, Chief - because I have always admired with how little you care about current fashion. And the - the purse. That... That purse. Come on. That - the - the purse. This purse helps people underestimate you - which I think, you know, is a good thing when it comes to criminals. The Mayor - he's somebody you really want to impress - so I was wondering if we could...

Brenda: [viewing robbery footage] They wait for someone to leave. Why don't they enter directly?
Buzz: Most marijuana dispensaries have electronic security doors that only unlock from the inside.
Louie: And you know this because...?
Buzz: My mom has a prescription for pot.
Brenda: Oh. What's wrong with her?
Buzz: She has insomnia and glaucoma. I-I have to guide her to the door sometimes.
Andy: Ever buy anything?
Julio: How do you think he got the name "Buzz?"

Judd: [put in handcuffs] No, no, hold on, one moment! I thought you said mercy killing and first degree murder were very different crimes!
Deputy: [Matter-of-factly] They are, but the punishment for both is exactly the same.
Judd: Are you actually talking about putting me in prison?
Deputy: [softly] Don't worry. It's not that different from Summerview, really. You have to sign in to visit people, friends and relatives tend to forget you exist, and, at some point, the state of California might just put you out of your misery.
Judd: Well, I certainly don't deserve THIS.
Deputy: You're right, Mr. Whaley. Unfortunately... it's the worst I can do to you.

Brenda: Okay, just... just give me a second here. Bad lies are confusin' me.

Brenda: If I liked being called a bitch to my face, I'd still be married.

Gail: I am not an alcoholic.
Brenda: Okay. But you are definitely a murderer.

Brenda: So... you don't... wanna tell the FBI that Mason was aiming for the fire department?
Chief: It's an untested hypothesis, and I... It would just confuse them. I don't think we wanna send the FBI on a wild goose chase, now?

Brenda: Detective Sanchez! Stop that bride!

Captain: Care to sit? I'm sure you'd like to take some weight off your cloven hooves.
Deputy: Calling me the devil? How original, Raymond.
Captain: Actually, I was calling you a goat. You goat.

[last lines]
Brenda: [handing the bride her cake topper] Oh! Oh! I'm sorry. I almost forgot. You know, giving this back to you, is almost as sweet as... the icing on your cake.

Brenda: [after learning that Lt. Flynn went over her head regarding the Special Master Motion] Have a seat. I should like to state as emphatically as I can how unhappy I am that you went over my head. This idea of yours is a no-go because I don't like waitin' around for two months while a judge determines exactly what a Special Master can do in this case and then maybe lose the hearing. However, if we find ourselves reduced to pursuing alternatives of a dubious legal nature or should the sun explode I promise to reconsider your suggestion. Meanwhile, I expect you to get the kids from the phone dump into this office for interviews. Thank you.

Will: Do you have any idea how difficult it is to explain this kind of behavior when you're applying to be Chief of Police?
Deputy: I might.

Brenda: Try to keep the rabbit in the hat this time, will you?

Brenda: For Heaven's sake, Fritzy, if we all stop lyin' to each other, how will we ever get to the truth?

Chief: For two years the FBI has been investigating a federal attack on an IRS office. Now, even if you're right and Mason was aiming at the firemen, they'd be too embarrassed to admit they were on the wrong track for so long.
Brenda: So we just give the case back to 'em?
Chief: We couldn't have said anything to change what happened, but now the FBI can do what they do best - find a missing fugitive - while we use the resources of our combined divisions to investigate your crazy idea that the murdered paramedics were just the first casualties of a larger assault.

Fritz: Sometimes the only way to deal with a control freak is to lay down the law.
Brenda: I totally agree.
Fritz: Which is why I'm saying I wanna be married by the end of January or February of next year at the latest. And the next time we talk about it, you better have a date in mind.

Brenda: You're always saying' I need to listen to outside opinions more, and the opinion of our best psychiatrist is that I'm ready to go back to work.
Will: Really? Ready for work. That's what she said?
Brenda: Yeah, more or less.
Will: Huh.
Will: [reading from his computer screen] "To: Chief Pope. From: Dr. Leonard. RE:..."You" Deputy Chief Johnson is not fit for full investigative duties. She is exhausted, disconnected, distracted, and in denial of deep emotional issues. Allowing Deputy Chief Johnson to resume a full workload could put her and other members of the LAPD at risk."
Brenda: Well, that is just... nuts!
Will: According to the department shrink, so are you.

Captain: I would also like to say that I'm fully aware that at the beginning of this investigation I was a terrible bitch.
Deputy: I'd... say it was more in the middle, a-and near the end.
Captain: But I still believe that if you had talked the husband earlier, that he might...
Deputy: He might still be alive. Yes, I thought about that. And about how I might have resisted talking to him, because...
Captain: Because I suggested it.
Deputy: It's possible. Um, but um, I did want to say that, uh... I-I do think it might be beneficial for the LAPD if we...
Deputy: [overlapping Sharon] ... were to work a bit better together.
Captain: [overlapping Brenda] If you'd just do as I say.
[both laugh nervously]
Captain: The thing is...
Deputy: We just don't like each other.
Captain: No. We don't. Oh, my goodness, no.
Deputy: No, we don't.

Brenda: [about Mr. Park being high] Lieutenant, is he...
Andy: As a kite.

Chief: You don't trust me, I don't trust you. The mission is off. Here's your bug back. It's not an actual bug, so don't eat it, you lizard.
Captain: Ha! You didn't specify the subspecies of lizard. I won that round!

Brenda: Low-functioning autistics have no language skills; they cannot survive independently by themselves. Keith is not like that. According to his school records, he's very intelligent but he does have issues : he's unemotional, frequently says inappropriate things, he's literal-minded, he gets fixated on minor details, he gets agitated when his routine is altered and he's extremely uncooperative when anything or anyone gets in the way of him doing what he wants.
Det. Andy Flynn: Does he have a Georgia accent?

Andy: What about nuts?
Brenda: Excuse me?
Andy: Are my nuts allowed in here?
Brenda: Do they have sugar on it, Lieutenant?
Andy: No, they're salty.

Deputy: Cut out the actual wound, please. Thank you.
Dr. Morales: Would you like that for here or to go?

Brenda: And as soon as the coroner has finished with his autopsy, I'll have Mr. Hodge's body returned to you for reburial.
Maggie: Don't bother. As far as I'm concerned, you can burn them - and I'm not talking some fancy cremation, either. I'm talking... gasoline, paint thinner... and strike a match.

Brenda: Oh, that woman!

Sharon: You say that your responsibility ended the moment Turell left your custody, and the Warren Rule frees you from criminal liability, but in a civil trial, the jury may very well decide that you behaved with a callous disregard to the suspect's life, and if the city attorney starts to think that he's losing this case...
Brenda: He could settle?
Sharon: He could settle and leave you to take the blame, and you will be entirely on your own.
Brenda: [taking awhile to think it over] So, what should I do?
Sharon: For your own sake, *get... your own... attorney*.

Assistant: By the way I saw myself on TV, in the uniform, Why did you not tell me I'd gotten so...
Deputy: Sorry. You're fat. Feel better.

Deputy: How 'bout this? Sign off on our overtime today and I promise I won't dig up any of those other dead bodies. We'll just find some other way to solve this thing.
Will: [thinking it over, unaware that Brenda is hiding the cremated remains of "those other dead bodies" behind her] Deal, but I'm holding you to that.

[last lines]
Deputy: Do you have some kind of personal vendetta against me? I mean, have I ever done anything to you or to someone you love?
Peter: No. In fact, I'm reasonably sure we've almost never crossed paths, but that's mainly because I'm the conscience of the justice system, which, as far as you're concerned, makes me neary a perfect stranger, but don't worry. By the time I'm done, we're gonna know each other very well, because it's my intention, Chief Johnson, to put an end to you and all your works.

Fritz: Are you feeling all right?
Brenda: Yes, much better.
Fritz: Then stop leaving me alone with your parents. I mean it.

Brenda: Uh, any luck gettin' my present from you?
Fritz: You didn't really think I was gonna find an Albanian translator on Christmas day, did you?
Brenda: Oh, I ask you for one thing...

Brenda: Oh, that WOMAN!

Brenda: It's just the six of us again, Lieutenant.
Louie: For now.

Deputy: Our dead... paparazzo may have taken some compromising photos.
Asst. Police Chief Will Pope: Why do we think this?
Deputy: Because there was no camera.
Captain: Who's your witness?
Deputy: Elvis Presley. He's also a suspect.
Captain: Let's just tell the press, "No Comment".

Brenda: Who's Father Jack?
Andy: He's an asshole.

Deputy: Did you even ask to see his badge?
Will: No, I didn't.
Deputy: Then how could you have been so certain that he was an actual LAPD detective?
Will: He knew my mission statement!
Andy: That should've been proof that he didn't work here. How did we miss that?

Deputy: What I wouldn't give to see the egg she hatched from.

[from trailer]
Brenda: If I liked being called a bitch to my face I'd still be married.

Brenda: You want ME to talk Det. Andrews out of his dress?

Will: You know what this sounds like to me? A major crime. Is there any way I can help you that won't cost thousands of dollars from another division or interrupt an ongoing investigation?
Brenda: No.

Brenda: Is all this bettin' necessary?
Andy: Uh, no, ma'am.
Louie: But it makes staring at blank screens for three hours a hell of a lot more interesting.

Justin: All right, I think I should get my one phone call and talk to my dad. He's an criminal attorney, okay, so I think I know a bit more about the justice system than the average person you drag in here.
Brenda: Lt. Flynn, would you please hand Mr. Dracy your phone? As I'm sure you're aware, Mr. Dracy, given your vast knowledge of the law, that the age of consent for male-male sex in the state of California is eighteen.
Justin: I'm nineteen... in two months.
Brenda: Many happy returns. Eric Wallace, the boy who you are currently tutorin', is seventeen. Make sure to tell your father that the charges against you will include but will not necessarily be limited to statutory rape and sex with a minor. I look forward to meetin' your family. I can only imagine how proud they'll be.

Brenda: Thank you, doctor. It's been a real pleasure working with you.
Dr. Fernando Morales: Likewise. Now, be quiet. When my patients talk to me, I run screaming from the building.

Raymond: There are two ways you can contact us. Um, one is with the tip line. The other's by sending an e-mail, like this one: Um, "To whom it may concern. My neighbors are building a retaining wall, and not only does their contractor start work too early..." - which is a very common complaint; we get it all the time, um - "... he doesn't have a permit posted in the front yard." I don't know why people even care that happened. "Could you check on this for me? Sincerely, John David Dale." And that was dated four days ago.
Brenda: Well, that is extremely unusual.
Raymond: Why is that?
Brenda: Because when he wrote this, Mr. Dale was buried beneath the retaining wall he was complaining about.

Deputy: Ugh, excuse me. Chief, um, am I to understand that you and, uh, Lt. Flynn and Lt. Provenza handed over all the evidence from the crime scene, including the gun, to a Detective... DICK... TRACY?

Charlie: [learning her privacy was invaded] Recording me!
Deputy: I'm only doing this to protect Jake.
Charlie: No one believes that, including you.
[Charlie exits]
Fritz: [glaring at Brenda] Including me.

Hairdresser: Shouldn't I have a lawyer?
Brenda: You could call a lawyer... but if you do I'll tear this custody agreement into little pieces and Dean will walk away with your baby the minute it's born.

Louie: I don't know if you've noticed, but, um, Gabriel and Daniels can hardly stand to be in the same room together anymore.
Brenda: I already issued an order for them to sort out their romantic problems.
Louie: You-you are an excellent leader, Chief, but... you can't just boss around the human heart.
Brenda: Lieutenant, I'm in the middle of a double homicide investigation. I don't wanna talk about this right now.
Louie: Well, I don't wanna talk about it either, but... Look, Sanchez was gone for four months on a disability leave, and then... and then Gabriel took a week off for some training, and Daniels was off at some Homeland Security labs for two weeks. I mean... Look, I may not be a psychic, but as an experienced civil servant, I can tell you this: the brass will not let you do with six people what you'e proven you can do with five.
Brenda: [thinking] Chief Pope told me this morning that he may have to promote someone from Major Crimes to the CI Division.
Louie: Well, there it is, then. There it is. And, I'm telling' you, Chief, h-h-he could take Sanchez, or Tao, or even Flynn, and our problem would still be the same, and it's sitting right out there.
[Brenda and Provenza gaze out at Daniels and Gabriel working at their desks]

Deputy: Look, I don't like this kind of investigation any more than the rest of you, but I want to go to sleep at night knowing that we've buried the killer and not his crimes. Thank you.

Beth: You lied to me.
Brenda: Welcome to Hollywood.

Lieutenant: [waking up in the hospital to see Provenza holding a balloon] So there is a hell.
Deputy: You're not there yet, Lieutenant.
Detective Lt. Provenza: [Flynn glances at the balloon, which says "It's a Girl", Provenza shrugs] It's the only one they had in the gift shop.

Andy: Chief, What do we do with the girlfriend?
Brenda: Tell her she's not going home.
Andy: You want to see me get slapped again.
Brenda: The thought never crossed my mind.

Brenda: Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza - with me, with me, with me.

Deputy: Um, I need to make an appointment with you.
Dr. Stephen Parr: You're kidding me. You've just made it abundantly clear what you think of me.
Deputy: I'm not looking for a decent human being. I'm looking for a great doctor and... you're it.

Deputy: [summarizing] So, we have a tainted crime scene, a murder weapon and casings out of the chain of custody... We... we HEARD that there were witnesses from someone who could quite possibly be the killer, and if not, a pathological liar.

Louie: You might want to double up on your protective gear since this is a homocide.
Brenda: You seem to be having trouble with your pronunciation this evening.

Will: So what do I have to do to make you agree with me?
Brenda: Stop being wrong.

Brenda: It looks like love. That's what it looks like. Looks like love.

Russell: Congratulations. I've never seen you handle the press better.
Brenda: I didn't say a word to 'em.
Russell: Exactly.

Fritz: Now, do you want the visitors lists to the prisons at Lompoc at Terminal Island or not?
Brenda: Are you telling' me that you're refusing' to help me with my murder investigation because I can't go househuntin' with you today? Is that what you're saying'?
Fritz: Yeah. Good. I don't have to explain it to ya.

[Having given her report, Daniels exits, and Brenda resumes Gabriel's discussion about having Daniels transferred out]
Brenda: Tell me, Sergeant, can you do that, what she just did, the forensic accountin'?
David: What do you mean, the stuff with the banks?
Brenda: 'Cause I need someone with expertise with "that stuff with the banks" on our team, and since you think the cohesiveness of our division is being hurt and one of you absolutely must go, fill out that transfer request and start thinkin' about where you might want me to send you.

Roger: You don't understand. If they put me back in general population, they'll beat me. They'll beat me.
Brenda: No, Roger, I do understand. What I'm tryin' to tell you is - I don't care.

David: But I do want to thank you, Chief, for being there for me.
Brenda: Well, If I'm gonna be upset with you when you're wrong, Sergeant, the least I can do is stand up for you when you're right.

Professor: Of course, the real irony here is, if I had actually been having an affair with Ashley, if I had walked her to the door and gone inside, she might still be alive.
Deputy: Well, that's the best justification for adultery I've heard in a long time.

Deputy: You just drove around for an hour, passed thirty hospitals until he bled out, and then you dumped his body in San Bernardino. If it's not murder, it's the worst case of littering I've ever seen.

Buzz: You want me to go out there and pretend to be Lieutenant Tao?
Brenda: Yes. Exactly.
Buzz: Do I have to over-explain everything?
Mike: Hey!

Andy: [KNOCKING ON DOOR] We finished booking Emily. We're done.
Brenda: Oh, great. Thank you.
Andy: Urn... If you don't mind me butting in... my sister had thyroid cancer.
Brenda: Oh, I'm so sorry. Wait a minute, how did you find out...?
Andy: Oh, your father. Ha, ha. When they were handing out the gifts. "Merry Christmas. I've got cancer". There's no easy way to say it, I guess.
Brenda: Guess you're right about that. How is she, though?
Andy: Oh, she's fine now. But I learned a lot from what happened to her.
Brenda: Like what?
Andy: Well, no matter how frustrated I got with her... I always tried to keep her best Interests at heart. Because she wasn't able to do that for herself. You'll see. But if you ever need to talk about it, I know stuff.
Brenda: Thanks. Thanks. I'll remember that.

Brenda: I have a waffle iron?

Brenda: Lt. Provenza, I really need that car, and you seem to be awfully frisky this afternoon.
Louie: Well, yes, I am. And, Chief, this is perfect weather to organize a grid search for a town car - and I could really go for a nice long walk around LAX. It'd be good for me.
Will: Okay, do we have a Breathalyzer up here?

Jerry: [during a sting operation] Viktor Markov is never gonna believe that I would date someone like you.
Deputy: Why not?
Jerry: He's a much better appraiser than I am. And he's never gonna believe that one of me is worth any of you.

Brenda: Say something Southern.
Grady: Well, uh, what do you want me to say?
Brenda: Oh, I don't know. Something about kudzu or a peach tree.

Deputy: Where's the line for you doctor? You start by cutting up people you *think* committed rape, and who's next? Drug dealers? Thieves? People who cross against the light?
Dr. Luis Navarro: Listen to me. There are two really bad boys out there that I didn't get to. Why don't you give me a year? See what happens. I can make this place safer than you can.
Deputy: Who gave you the right to play God?
Dr. Luis Navarro: Position was vacant, so I took it.

Deputy: [after hearing about the lawsuit] How about I just quit?
Chief: Then I'll tie this lawsuit around your neck and tell the city attorney that whatever happened to Turell Baylor was a consequence of your own personal actions. If that's what you want, go ahead. Quit.
[Brenda glances over at Pope and Delk whispers in her ear]
Chief: I'm doing what's best for everyone here. Try to be helpful, Chief Johnson... for your own sake.

Andy: Sergeant.You're gonna have to skip me. I'm gonna stick with my usual cranberry and soda.
Brenda: No champagne?
Andy: Here,take a look at this. I wear this all the time. 10 years in A.A.
Brenda: You're kidding.
Andy: Well, you see ,chief, when I used to drink, I could be a little bit of an asshole.
Louie: Imagine that,if you can.

Brenda: Uh, Lieutenant, when did I arrive?
Louie: From Atlanta or tonight?

Brenda: Sometimes good people are capable of bad things. There have to be consequences for that.

Deputy: Can I see the gold coins?
Agent: [teasing] Oh, I'm sorry, miss. That's government property.
Deputy: So now *all* government property is suddenly off-limits to me?
Agent: [Brenda follows as he backs into her office] Well... not all.

Deputy: Hello, Raymond.
Captain: Captain Wuntch. Good to see you. But if you're here, who's guarding Hades?

Deputy: Yes, Lieutenant, it's always good news when suspects in a homicide can point to us for their alibi.

Deputy: [to Sergeant Gabriel, on notifying relatives of a homicide] Now watch carefully. You're about to become a main character in someone's story of their worst day ever.

[last lines]
Fritz: You feel like talking?
Brenda: I do. Um, I know you had this other life before you stopped drinking. I-I don't like to think about it... but maybe I should.
Fritz: Okay.
[pauses]
Fritz: What would you like me to tell you?
Brenda: [painfully] Oh... everything I don't wanna hear.

Ricardo: Do you really want the killer to know that you've got him on tape?
Brenda: [together] No comment.

Willie: Well, there's something I really ought to tell you. It'll only take a minute.
Deputy: Well, can it wait till tomorrow morning? We could have breakfast and talk about whatever you like.
Willie: All right tomorrow. Only, honey, you can't keep working like this your whole life. It'll catch up with you.
Deputy: I expect it will, but not tonight. Bye.
Willie: Drive carefully.

Brenda: [interviewing a beaten man] Nobody ENCOURGED you to come talk to me?
Miguel: Absolutely not. I am here on my own violation.

Fritz: Is there anything special you want from Santa this year?
Brenda: Maybe an Albanian translator.
Fritz: Oh, you are so hard to shop for.

Brenda: I worry when a suspect has extra alibies.

Fritz: Why can't you let the undercover detectives handle this?
Brenda: Because I want these guys alive and SIS shoots first and asks questions never. And I'll be sittin' in a surveillance van the whole time, anyhow.
Fritz: And the surveillance van's gonna be parked three blocks away.
[Brenda nods]
Fritz: [insistently] Eh, and the surveillance van is going to be parked...
Brenda: Oh, for Heaven's sakes, the surveillance van will be parked three blocks away.
Fritz: Thank you.
[hands Brenda her glass of champagne]
Brenda: Thank you.
[on stakeout the next day]
Brenda: [sighs] Can we move the van a little closer?
Mike: Not without going inside.

Brenda: Nice place.
Detective: Except for the murder.
Brenda: Well, we all have a past.

Brenda: Charlie, which would you rather: museums with Grandma or schizophrenic murder suspects with your Aunt Brenda?
Charlie: Bye, Grandma.

Sharon: Calling Turell's murder "a happy ending" is not something that you want a jury to hear you say.
Brenda: Sure we do, after they see this interview with the so-called victim?
Sharon: After they see this interview, they'll understand you were stuck with a confession of a brutal murder of an elderly man and his grandchild that you couldn't use at trial, and lacking legal recourse, you dropped Turell Baylor off at his home where you knew he was likely to be executed. This interview is not your friend - it is your motive!

Andy: So, what are you thinking, Chief? Somebody's trying to make the priest look dirty?
Deputy: I'm thinking that, if he didn't take these photographs, it would explain why he went out in the middle of the night to an apartment he didn't know was his.

Deputy: I'll tell you what, I'll give all this money back to the FBI and you spend the rest of your life on Death Row and we'll call it even.

Brenda: All bets are off, gentlemen.
Russell: Why?
Brenda: It turns out our killer is our victim.

Det. Andy Flynn: And when she disappeared, we all thought she'd committed suicide.
Brenda: Well, I suppose she could have lifted Bill Croelick's stainless steel cigarette lighter, making sure his prints were still on it, made a copy of Lisa Barnes' license, stolen a car, pushed it off a cliff - chopping off her hands and feet while discarding them en route - after setting fire to herself. Maybe she trained for her suicide at the Cirque du Soleil.

FID: Hey-hey-HEY! What're you doin'?
Louie: We're headed for the newsstand, pick up a paper, read about the two FID guys who got fired because they disregarded orders from the Pope.
FID: Listen, I'm not gonna...
Brenda: Tone, tone, tone. That's no way to talk to a lieutenant, or a deputy chief for that matter. Sir, if you do anything to interfere with my murder investigation, I'll see to it you spend the next month on unpaid leave. Is that understood? Okay, Buzz. Buzz, start filming everything over here, including the unhappy officers over there.

David: Nice dress, by the way.
Brenda: Really? Does it make me look like the Queen of England? 'Cause that's how much money you need to be a police officer these days.

Louie: Chief, ahem, what are we gonna say in those depositions?
Brenda: Just the truth, I guess.
Louie: Truth, yeah, but first, shouldn't we all agree as to what that is?

Brenda: Detective, a choice needs to be made regarding your situation, and Lt. Provenza is going to help you make it.

Fritz: But you had a lot of nerve, Brenda, calling me a liar. A lot of nerve.
Brenda: What's THAT supposed to mean?
Fritz: It means it's funny being accused of being dishonest by someone who lies all the time.
Brenda: I do not lie all the time.
Fritz: You lie all the...
Brenda: When?
Fritz: When? You lie to your parents. In fact, you lie to your parents so much we had to have an extra phone line installed for over a year so they wouldn't know I was living here. You lie to Pope CONSTANTLY about what you do at work. You lie to me now when you say you're gonna do something like "look for a house" when you know you're not! You lied when you said you'd put THIS place on the market. You promised you'd do that three months ago and you never did it.
Brenda: That is not a lie! It's just... I get busy, that's all. It's not the same thing!
Fritz: You know, you're right. It's not the same thing. You and I, we have different flaws, Brenda, but I have been more... I have been MORE than patient with yours because I am pretty aware of how bad mine are; but, for you to say that you don't trust me, to suggest that our whole relationship is on the line because of mistakes I made before we started dating?... You throw the word "if" at me while you're wearing that ring?...
[silence]

Brenda: [learning abut the dead man] A sex offender?
Lt. Louie Provenza: Mm. Sure you don't just want to cover him up and call it a day?

Deputy: Sir, I've had a terrible day. I'm anxious, I'm stressed, and a little shaky.
Mateo: [feeling Brenda's gun at the back of his head] Aah...
Deputy: So if you don't drop your gun right now, I'm gonna put a bullet through your head. Are we clear?
[Mateo drops his gun]
Mateo: Why... Why are you arresting me?
Deputy: Because shootin' you would get us in a lot of trouble.

David: [Wearing Hazmat suit] So, you're mad at me, is that it?
Brenda: No, I'm confused. I called you, and nobody answered.
David: [Exasperated] Do you see what I'm wearing here? Or did you not read the schedule I gave you this morning?
Brenda: Where'd you put it?
David: In your hand.
Brenda: Well, what was it? What'd it say?
David: It said that we were completing Weapons of Mass Destruction training tonight, that our division deadline is Friday the 26th, two days from now.
Brenda: So that's all finished then?
David: No! No, we're not finished! We were 17 minutes short of finishing when you apparently demanded that we be sent to you. Now the whole squad has to start the training over again from the beginning.

Brenda: Watching me hunt for whose foot fits the ruby red slipper might just make her realize she's not in Kansas anymore.

Phillip: Look on the bright side, Chief. At least it's over.
Brenda: It's not over.
Phillip: It is.

Brenda: I worry when a suspect has extra alibis.

[as Dr. Parr explains his circumstance, Brenda's keenly aware how his wording can apply to herself as well]
Dr. Stephen Parr: The system should work as designed but sometimes we have mistakes, awful mistakes, so last night, after observing Miss Lee's asymptomatic responses to the chemo, I went back to my office and looked at my own files from last year.
Deputy: What did you find?
Dr. Stephen Parr: What I thought I'd find, a period during which many patients seemed not to properly absorb the chemo. When, instead of improving, people died. I felt errors may have been made, but I was afraid that if I brought attention to the problem, that...
Sgt. David Gabriel: You'd be sued.
Dr. Stephen Parr: Yes, I'd be sued. I... I deal with life and death on a daily basis. I can be taken to court where, even if I win, I lose. My liability insurance goes up. I have to explain myself over and over to medical boards, my peers... If I ever find myself in circumstances where I can't properly clear my name, nothing is the same after that.

Deputy: I may not have done right by everyone in my life, but I have always given my professional best to Will. And I've always, always done everything he told me to do.
Agent: [chuckles] You have?
[Brenda glares, he stops laughing]
Agent: No, you have. You have.

Richard: A parking garage: cold, dank, unforgiving. As mundane as evil itself, and yet...
Deputy: [interrupting] Detective, just the fact pattern, please.