The Best Quincey P. Morris Quotes

Van: Mr. Morris, your bullets will not harm him. He must be beheaded. I suggest you use your big Bowie knife.
Quincey P. Morris: Well, I wasn't plannin' on getting that close, Doc.

Professor: We are dealing with forces beyond all human experience, and enormous power. So guard her well. Otherwise, your precious Lucy will become a bitch of the Devil! A whore of darkness!
Quincey P. Morris: Well, you're a sick old buzzard!
Professor: Hear me out, young man. Lucy is not a random victim, attacked by mere accident, you understand? No. She is a willing recruit, a breathless follower, a wanton follower. I dare say, a devoted disciple. She is the Devil's concubine!

Quincey P. Morris: And may I say that Miss Lucy is hotter than a June bride riding bareback buck naked in the middle of the Sahara!
Lord: I would watch my colonial tongue if I were you.