The Best Raquel Turner Quotes

Raquel: And you've known all these years?
Derek: No. At least, not when Rodney was a baby. When you get to 20, and your 6-year-old brother is taller than you, it makes you think. I never knew really who he was. As a youngster, I was told to call him "Uncle Fred". Then a few years back, Uncle Albert got drunk at an old folks' do... It was a wet corset contest. Anyway, he told me all about Freddie and my mum. I don't know if you noticed, but there are no photographs of my mum in this house, except for a couple of close-ups.
Raquel: I assumed your dad had taken them when he left.
Derek: No. He only used to take money and things that he could sell. Then Uncle Albert told me. It was my Aunt Reenie who sorted it all after Mum's funeral. You see every picture of Mum included Freddie Robdal, and Aunt Reenie knew that as Rodney got older, people would start to see the stimularities, so she burnt them.

Raquel: [while in labour] Don't you ever come near me again, Trotter!

Cassandra: Why do they do that?
Raquel: It's like I've told you, Cassandra. Women are from Venus, men are from Peckham!

Del: Oh, no, Raquel. You must never lose sight of your dream! When I was 18, I decided I was gonna be a millionaire by the time I was 21.
Raquel: Really?
Del: Yep... and when I was 21, I said I'd be a millionaire by the time I was 30... and when I was 30...
[referring to the biscuits]
Del: Fancy a Jammy-Dodger?

Raquel: Eat your breakfast, Del.
Del: [looking at the plate] I thought the doctor said all this fried stuff was bad for my veins?
Raquel: Eat your breakfast, Del!

Trigger: [talking about his invention of a backscratcher made from chopsticks] Raquel, can you pass a message onto Del Boy?
Raquel: OK.
Trigger: Tell him there's been a bit of a setback. My paraffin heater melted the chopsticks. I might have to go to a Chinese shop. He'll understand.
[Raquel looks completely bemused]

Raquel: [while in labor] Don't you ever come near me again, Trotter!

Raquel: [looking at the photograph of the 1960 Jolly Boys' Outing with Freddie the Frog in it] Who is he?
Derek: His name was Freddie Robdal. He was a mate of my dad's. My mum was having a rough time with the old man. He was very handy, if you know what I mean, with women. Not much cop when it came to men, but a hard nut with women and kids. One day, my dad brought Freddie home, and him and my mum got on like a house on fire. They had the same taste in music and... well, everything.
Cassandra: And what was he, this Freddie Robdal?
Rodney: He was a gentleman safe-cracker. They called him "The Raffles of Peckham". People have mentioned him before and we sounded similar. He was a connoisseur of fine wines, a gourmet, a real snappy dresser, and big-time charmer.
Cassandra: So, how are you similar?
Rodney: We're about the same height.

Raquel: The only time my clothes look fashionable is when I'm watching UK Gold!

Raquel: Public enemy number one? But he only left Tuesday!