The Best Samuel West Quotes

Mr: There are children on the premises!
Siegfried: Your point being?
Mr: I'll thank you to modify your language!
Siegfried: I'll thank you to mind your own bloody business!

Siegfried: I know you're the patron saint of lost causes, but...
Mrs. Hall: And what is THAT supposed to mean?
Siegfried: You care about people who sometimes don't deserve it.
Mrs. Hall: On that we must agree.

Siegfried: To conquer the ziggurat of life, one must climb the first step.

Siegfried: Where on earth did you learn to shoot like that?
Mrs: What did you think we did in the WRNS? Embroidery?

Dr. Victor Frankenstein: Good God... I would kill myself before helping in such a task.
Count: Feel free. I don't actually need you anymore, Victor. I just need him... he is the key.

Henry: He's either very brave or very stupid.
Siegfried: I believe it's a heady mixture of both.

Siegfried: George, what a qualified pleasure it is to see you.

Siegfried: Are you out of your TINY cerebellums?

Siegfried: [in his nervousness about approaching Dorothy] I must say, that while the flesh is willing, the spirit slightly lacks.
Mrs: The less I hear about your willing flesh, the better for both of us.

Tristan: Oh no, I'm sorry. I can't do this.
Mrs: Tristan?
Tristan: No, I can't be the only one *dying* to know what on earth *happened*...
Siegfried: There is a *time* and a *place*...
Tristan: With Suzie's puppies! What on earth did you think I was going to say?

Siegfried: I believe there should be a line between employer and employee.
Mrs. Hall: When it suits.

James: Has anyone ever told you how insufferable you are?
Siegfried: Not to my face, no.

Tristan: [about James being the vet for the fair for the first time] Two bob says he won't last past lunchtime.
Mrs: Honestly, Tristan!
Tristan: Ah, remember when Greer did it. Drunk by midday. Fred, punch boil in the mouth.
Siegfried: Morning's not the problem. It's the pony measure. Gets them every time.
Siegfried: [in a counter bet to Tristan, they shaking on it] Two bob, three-thirty.
Tristan: What do you say, Mrs. Hall. Do you think he'll make it to the family pets?
Mrs: [defiantly] I most certainly do. And I don't approve of gambling.
Mrs: [she begins to walk away, then abruptly turns around] Two bob, six o'clock. Not a minute sooner.

Siegfried: Yes, I was hoping you could offer me something a little more nuanced.
Tristan: I'm dressed as an elf and my date for the evening is a donkey.
Siegfried: Let's forget we ever had this conversation, shall we?
Tristan: Not a chance.

Siegfried: What's wrong? Why can't I have it?
Mrs. Hall: Because it's not one word and it's spelled differently.
Siegfried: Yes, yes. Besides that.

Siegfried: We've been robbed!
James: Shall I call the police?

Siegfried: It's a terrible parasite, you know. Mistletoe. Clings onto a tree-suffocates it-sucks the life out of it.
Siegfried: Interesting given its association with romance, wouldn't you say?
Dorothy: I hadn't thought about it before.
Siegfried: Not that I think it's an apt metaphor for a relationship per se, it's just, you know, ironic really.
Dorothy: Right. I might just see if Audrey needs some help...
Siegfried: Yes, I should..um...