The Best Schitt's Creek, Season 6, Episode 14 Quotes

Johnny: Stop the car!
Moira: What is it?
Johnny: I just wanted one last look
[Johnny looks out the window at the town sign to find that Roland has painted Moira and Johnny's faces over top of Horace and his sister's faces with David and Alexis painted in the background]
Johnny: Driver, we're ready!

Alexis: My brother is getting married today.
David: [as Alexis comes out of the bathroom] Ah! You're wearing that?
Alexis: Yes! What was I supposed to wear? Pink?
David: Or black. You're wearing a wedding dress. To my wedding!
Alexis: This is not a wedding dress. It's a white floor-length gown. It's very different!
David: Did it come with a veil?
Alexis: No, it came with a headdress.
David: A what?
Alexis: It came with a tule headdress but I didn't want to wear it because I thought it would overwhelm the dress.
David: You're walking me down the aisle in a wedding dress. People are going to think we're the ones who are getting married.
David: [Stevie knocks on the door]
[frustrated grunt]
David: Come in!
Stevie: What's going on?
David: Does it not look like Alexis is wearing a wedding dress?
Stevie: I'm going to stay out of this
David: You don't have a choice! You work for me today.
Alexis: David, chill! I bought some champaign. So, let's have a toast to my brother!
[They clank their champaign flutes together]
David: Is that a bow on the back?
Alexis: Don't David!

Stevie: So much for the massage.

David: Will you stop doing that! You're making me nervous!
Alexis: I've been thinking about it a lot and I think you're right!
David: Oh, I know I'm right... Right about what?
Alexis: I think you're right that I'm wearing a wedding dress.
David: Yes I knew that.
Alexis: It's just that I wanted to look good for the wedding and now I feel like I ruined your wedding.
David: I think you're giving yourself too much credit. My wedding was already ruined.
Alexis: I just wanted to impress you
David: If it's any consolation to you, I am constantly impressed by you. Now will you please walk me down the aisle before everybody loses interest.
Alexis: David, it would be my honor.

Roland: [as he's watching David and Alexis walking down the aisle] Is it me or do they look like husband and wife?
Johnny: Kind of!

Moira: [Sniffeling] Good evening everybody! Welcome to the wedding of Patrick Brewer and David Rose! We are gathered here today to celebrate the love of two people whose lives were ostensively brought together by fateful butterfly wings. It's hard to understand why things happen the way that they do? Our lives are like little bebe crows carried upon a curious wind and all we can wish is for that wind place us on solid ground. And it has done this for our family in this small town in the middle of nowhere?
David: [Whispering] Okay, I think we're good!
Moira: And now I will ask David Rose and Patrick...
David: Brewer
Moira: Brewer to exchange their vows!
Patrick: David, I can't believe this is happening. So, I'll keep this very short because I think you know that I would climb a thousand mountains for you. You will always be a part of me,
[singing]
Patrick: and I'm a part of you indefinitely. Boy, don't you know you can't escape me, 'cause you know you'll always be my baby. and we'll linger on, time can't erase a feeling this strong, no way you'll ever shake me, ooh, darling 'cause you'll always be my baby!
Moira: David?
David: Uh, yes. Patrick, I have never liked a smile as much as I like yours. I've never felt as safe as I feel when I'm with you. I've never known love like I do when we're together. It's not been an easy road for me but knowing that you will be there for me at the end makes everything okay. Patrick Brewer you are my happy ending.
Moira: [David takes Patrick's ring out of his pocket and slips in on his finger] Patrick do you take David to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Patrick: I do.
Moira: [Patrick takes David's ring and slips it on his finger] David
[shouting]
Moira: do you take Patrick to be your lawfully wedded husband?
David: I do!
Moira: I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss each other.
Johnny: [as everybody is walking out of the town hall] You did such a great job, sweetheart. I don't know how you do it?
Moira: There's a time and a place for sentimentality and your only son's wedding is hardly the time or the place.

Johnny: Moira! Hurry up!
Moira: It's 6:00 AM John! I'm moving as fast as I can! Roland said that he had a going away gift for us but I guess he forgot?
Alexis: Well, I for one would not have missed this for the whole wide world.
David: You're only saying that because you haven't gone to sleep yet.
Stevie: I'm going to miss your Mr. and Mrs. Rose
Johnny: [Hugging Stevie] Thank you, Stevie, that's awfully nice.
Moira: Nice as the smell of the liqueur wafting from your breath.
Stevie: I too haven't gone to sleep yet.
Johnny: Bye Stevie, take care of the place Stevie, and when you get a chance, Room 7 needs a turndown.
[He hands Stevie the keys]
Patrick: Well, safe travels Mr. and Mrs. Rose. David and I can't wait to host you at our house when you come back to visit.
Johnny: Thank you, Patrick.
[Hugs Patrick]
Moira: A courier is coming for the bulk of the luggage.
Alexis: Yes, we know!
Moira: And make sure the girls are delivered in a...
Alexis: Temperature-controlled cargo container!
Johnny: Okay, bye kids!
[Johnny hugs David]
David: [David hugs Johnny] Bye! See you soon!
Moira: Bye! I love you.
[Moira hugs David]
Alexis: [Alexis hugs Johnny] Bye dad!
Johnny: Bye honey!