30 Best Seth Gecko Quotes

Richie: Where are my glasses?
Seth: They, uh... they broke when you fell.
Richie: Oh, fuck, Seth, these are, like, my only pair!
Seth: Don't worry about it, we'll get you another pair.
Richie: What do you mean, "don't worry about it"? Of course I'm gonna worry about it, I can't fuckin' see.
Seth: I'll take care of it when we get to El Rey.
Richie: Yeah, like some Mexican hole-in-the-wall's gonna have my fucking prescription.

Seth: [to hostage Gloria] You. Plant yourself in that chair.
Hostage: What are you gonna do with...
Seth: I said "plant yourself." Plants don't talk.

Sex: He's not your brother anymore.
Seth: Well, that is a matter of opinion and I do not give a fuck about yours.

Seth: All right, vampire killers... let's kill some fucking vampires.

Seth: [upon finding the body of Gloria the hostage] Richard, what's wrong with you? Is it me? Is this my fault? Do think that this is what I am? I am a professional fucking thief. I don't kill people that I don't have to, and I don't rape women. What you are doing - what you are doing - what you are fucking doing, is not how it's done. Do you understand? Say "yes, Seth, I understand." Say "yes, Seth, I fucking understand."

Jacob: Are you such a fucking loser, you can't tell when you've won?
Seth: What did you call me?
Jacob: Nothing. I didn't make a statement. I asked a question. Would you like me to ask it again?
Seth: Umm-hmm.
Jacob: Are you such a loser, you can't tell when you've won? The entire state of Texas, along with the F.B.I., are looking for you. Did they find you? No. They couldn't. You've won, Seth. Enjoy it.

Seth: Do you think this is who I am? I am a professional thief; I don't kill people I don't have to.

Richie: Shit, I started to get worried. Where the fuck ya been?
Seth: Sight seein'.
Richie: What'd ya see?
Seth: Cops.

Pete: Look, he comes in here everyday, we bullshit; he's used my bathroom about a thousand times; if I told him no, he'd know somethin' was up.
Seth: Okay, I want him out of here, in his car, and down the road or you can change the name of this place to Benny's World of Blood.

Kate: Are you okay?
Seth: Peachy, Kate. The world's my oyster, except for the fact that I just rammed a wooden stake in my brother's heart because he turned into a vampire, even though I don't believe in vampires. Aside from that unfortunate business, everything's hunky-dory.

Seth: Well, your best better get a hell of a lot fucking better, or you are gonna feel a hell of a lot fucking worse.

Seth: Everybody be cool.
[to Pete]
Seth: YOU - be cool.

Seth: So what are you, Jacob? A faithless preacher? Or a mean motherfuckin' servant of God?
Jacob: I'm a mean, mhm mhm servant of God.

Seth: So, what's the deal with you two, you a couple of fags?
Jacob: He's my son.
Seth: Yeah, how's that happen? You don't look Japanese.
Jacob: Neither does he. He looks Chinese.
Seth: Oh, ooh, well excuse me all to hell.

Seth: Why, out of all the God-forsaken shitholes in Mexico, do we have to meet here?
Carlos: One place's just as good as another.

Seth: Jacob, you're going to keep going down this road until you get to DiGallo. When you get to DiGallo, you're going to turn this big bastard left, and go a couple of miles until you see a bar called "The Titty Twister." And to my understanding, you cannot miss it.
Jacob: Then?
Seth: And then you stop, because that's where were going.

Seth: [ducking behind a display case] Richie! You okay?
Richie: He shot me in the fucking hand, I told you he said help us!
Pete: [screaming in pain] I NEVER SAID HELP US!
Seth: Well it doesn't matter now, because you've got about two fucking seconds to live!

Seth: [puts a gun to Sex-Machine's head] You touch my brother with that stake, biker, and vampires won't have to suck your blood. They'll be able to lick it up off the floor.

Seth: [talking to Jacob Fuller about his wife's death in a car crash] Died instantly?
Jacob: Not quite. She was trapped in the wreck for about... six hours before she passed on.
Seth: Yeah, those acts of God really stick it in and break it off, don't they?
Jacob: Yes, they do.

Seth: [talking about the Titty Twister] You've never been here before?
Carlos: No. I drove by it a couple of times. It's a rowdy place, it's out in the middle of nowhere, there'd be no cops and it's open from dusk till dawn. And didn't you say you wanted to meet in the morning? Here we are.
Seth: Well since you just picked this place out of a hat, my brother is dead, that girl's entire fucking family is dead!
Carlos: What, were they psychos? Or...
Seth: Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were vampires! Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are!
Carlos: Seth, how can I make it up to you?
Seth: Can't make it up to me Carlos. I tell you, you can't do it. Can't make it up!
[has second thoughts on Carlos' deal]
Seth: 15%, instead of 30% for my stay in El Ray, that's a good start.
Carlos: 28.
Seth: My brother's gone, you understand that? He is gone, and he is not coming back, and that is your fault. 20.
Seth,11775: [shake on deal] 25.

[last lines]
Kate: Seth. Want some company?
Seth: Kate, do you know where I'm going? Do you know what El Ray is?
Kate: [shaking her head] No.
Seth: [getting in his car] Go home, Kate. I may be a bastard, but I'm not a fucking bastard.

[after first entering the Titty Twister bar]
Seth: I could become a regular.

Seth: I know that I have put you through hell, and I know that I have been one rough pecker. But from here on out, you are all in my cool book.

Seth: OK, ramblers. Let's get rambling.

Seth: And if there is a hell, and those sons of bitches are from it, then there has got to be a heaven... Jacob, there's gotta be.

Seth: You serve food here, Jose?
Razor: Best in Mexico.
Seth: I kinda doubt that.

Jacob: Does anybody know what's going on here?
Seth: I know what's going on. We got a bunch of fucking vampires out there, trying to get in here and suck our fucking blood. And that's it. Plain and simple. I don't want to hear anything about "I don't believe in vampires," because I don't fucking believe in vampires, but I believe in my own two eyes, and what I saw, is fucking vampires. Now, do we all agree that what we are dealing with is vampires?
Kate: Yes.

Seth: Here is the peace in death I could not give you in life.

[after Richard blows up Benny's World of Liquor]
Seth: "Low profile." Do you know what the words "low profile" mean?

Richie: [about their motel room] Do they have cable?
Seth: No
Richie: Do they have the X-rated channel?
Seth: No.
Richie: Do they have a waterbed?
Seth: Nope.
Richie: Well what do they got?
Seth: They have four walls and a bed and that's all we need.