The Best Seth Goldberg Quotes

Nick: Why are you all so mean? And why is Berman still here if his brother's dead? He should be home with his family!
[the campers were gasping]
Berman: My mom said Eli would've wanted me to finish out the summer.
Seth: [crowd booing to Nick] Now he's crying.
Andrew: Get off the stage, Soup!
Connie: RUN, sugar! RUN INTO THE WOODS!
Jessi: [when Nick runs away crying] Oh, Nick.

Andrew: Hey, Soup, you wanna be funny? Show us your tiny prick!
[campers laughing out loud when Nick was shocked]
Jessi: Jesus, Andrew. What is your problem?
Andrew: [strictly] Read the tea leaves, honey. That bowl of soup fucked my wife!
Jessi: [walks away] I think I'm gonna switch seats.
Connie: Let your GUARD down, Nicky. Be Vulnerable! People like that.
Nick: [to the audience] Hey guys, maybe comedy's not what your looking for tonight. Maybe I'll try something a little bit different.
Nick: [singing and playing guitar] Hey, Mr. Man. What about me? Am I a bowl of soup or a human being? Cause when I look in the mirror, I'll tell you what I see.
Andrew: [interrupting] He's sees soup! Cause he's a big fat bowl of fucking soup, the idiot!
Seth: [when people were bullying Nick] That's a good joke!
Boy: Stinky-ass bitch!