The Best Sister Harriet Quotes

Lonny: Now what do you do for Schidler Corp.?
Jason: I'm the plant manager
Sister: Oh, perfect. Tell us everything you know about the warehouse, about the pathogen, the layout, the distribution routes. And if you dare say you know nothing, then I will set thee aflame, child.
Jason: Fuck you.
Sister: Well, that's going to be rather tricky with your nethers on fire, dear.

Lonny: Well, you're in a nice mood. You all right? Whoa. You look like you just swallowed a shit sandwich. What's going on? Wait a minute. Is that real emotion on your face?
Sister: You're about to get a knuckle sandwich on yours if you don't pipe the fuck down.

Sister: [to Meyer] Bringing the kid was a big mistake.
Jonah: You know what? I-I'm not a kid. Okay? I was bar mitzvahed seven years ago, Sister. Chanted a little Leviticus, boogied to Mungo Jerry. After my haftorah, got an over-the-pants hand job from Ruchel Rekenstein. I know you think I'm this undescended testicle, but I'm old enough to drink, smoke, enlist in the Army, so... I'm not a kid. And unless you want to Greyhound over to the Indian casino and recruit the Navajo Windtalkers, I think you fucking need me.
Sister: One misstep and I will do things to you so traumatizing, you'll wet your knickers any time you even see Mary fucking Poppins on the telly.

Lonny: I'm in a warehouse with a hundred Nazis hell-bent on killing me. I'm not sure my breathing's gonna change that. Maybe my father was right.
Sister: Oh? And was he right when a 22-year old Leonard Flazenstein went out on his own, leaving that armpit of New Jersey to start in a Broadway show? Was he, was he right when you won a Tony Award straight out of the gate?
Lonny: Yeah. Look at me now. I've been bested by Hoffman and Dreyfuss. I can't even get an Ed Wood film. Uh, he was right. Lonny Flash is not the man.

Meyer: There are 74 Nazis on that wall. We only tracked down 23 to the United States. But a coded broadcast suggests there are many more.
Sister: Not to mention bloody plotting and coordination on a scale we have yet to fathom.

Una: [to Joe] Who the fuck are you? Part of that tribe hoping to stop us? Such fools. We won't be stopped. Not by a kike or a Jap or anyone else, for that matter. You will never stop Father's work.
Sister: Shalom, motherfucker.
[shoots Una]
Sister: [to Joe] What? No thank-you hug?