50 Best Logan Lerman Quotes

[on the phone]
Charlie: Candice, I killed Aunt Helen, didn't I? She died getting my birthday present, so I guess I killed her, right? I tried to stop thinking that, but I can't. She keeps driving away and dying and I can't stop her. Am I crazy, Candace?
[Candace motions to one of her friends]
Candace: Call the police and send them to my house!
[back to the phone]
Candace: No, Charlie, listen to me. Mom and Dad are going to be home with Chris any second.
Charlie: What if I wanted her to die, Candace?

Charlie: There is so much pain. And I-I-I don't know how to not notice it.
Dr. Burton: What's hurting you?
Charlie: No, not... not me. It's them! It's... it's everyone. It never stops. Do you understand?

Charlie: My Aunt Helen has said I should be a writer, but I don't know what I'd write about.
Sam: You could write about us.
Patrick: Yeah! Call it 'Slut and the Falcon'. Make us solve crimes.

[For the first time, Kable is speaking with Simon, his controller in the game]
Kable: What are you, twelve?
Simon: I'm seventeen, thank you.
Kable: This is unbelievable! Why am I not dead yet?
Simon: Because I am a bad-ass motherfucker.

Jonah: Yep, probably our girl Una. Mid to late 50s, blond. Looks like it could be his daughter. Either that, or Cheryl Ladd's stand-in.
Lonny: Actually, Cheryl Ladd's stand-in has tits like vanilla ice cream. And I know... 'cause I had two scoops.

Mary: Charlie, Charlie, what do you think about high school?
Charlie: High school? Bullshit. The cafeteria is called the Nutrition Center; people wear their letter jackets even when it's 98 degrees out. And why do they give out letter jackets to marching band? It's not a sport. We all know it.
Mary: [laughing] This kid is crazy.
Charlie: Mary Elizabeth, I think you're really gonna regret that, you know
[imitates electric razor]
Charlie: haircut when you look back at old photographs. I'm really sorry. That sounded like a compliment in my head.

Trini: Hey! Hey, start shooting!
Norman Ellison: But what do I shoot at?
Trini: The Nazis, dumb fuck!

Patrick: My turn! Let's see. Let's think... Charlie.
Charlie: Truth.
Patrick: How's your first relationship going?
Charlie: It's so bad, that I keep fantasizing that one of us is dying of cancer, so that I don't have to break up with her.

Simon: This is unbelievable. Kable, listen. This is the last game. You're gonna end up dead, and I'm going to look like a total asshole if you don't pull your balls together man!

Charlie: Touch my friends again and I'll blind you.

Charlie: So, you're not scared of me?
Sam: No.
Charlie: So, can we be friends again?
Sam: Of course!
[She hugs him]
Sam: C'mon. Lets go be psychos together!

Boyd: Wait until you see it.
Norman Ellison: See what?
Boyd: What a man can do to another man.

[to Emma]
Norman Ellison: You see this right here? That is your heart line. You're gonna have one great love in your life.

Simon: I just play games, man. Games.
Humanz: That's right. It is a game. You want to win it, don't you?
Simon: Yeah, I intend to.
Humanz: Well then you need to cut your strings, puppet master. Imagine a Slayer who don't got to wait to be told what to do. No ping, ya dig?

Charlie: If my Aunt Helen were still here, I could talk to her. And I know she would understand how I am both happy and sad, and I'm still trying to figure out how could that be.

[time traveling Evan at age 7 threatens George Miller with a lighted stick of dynamite]
Mr. George Miller: Evan! Put that out, or you'll blow off both your hands!
Evan: Been there, done that.

Wardaddy: Norman, you cocksucker! Why didn't you take the shot?
Norman Ellison: Because he was just a kid. I'm really sorry, I'm sorry, Sergeant.
Wardaddy: [Grabs him by the helmet] You see what a kid can do? Look!
[looks at Lt. Parker's deceased corpse]
Wardaddy: That's *your* fault, That's your fuckin' fault. Next German you see with a weapon you rake the dog shit outta em'. I don't care if it's a baby with a butter knife in one hand and momma's titty in the other, you chop him up!
Norman Ellison: Yes, Sergeant!
[Wardaddy smacks him in the head]
Wardaddy: All tanks, this is Wardaddy, looks like I'm it. I'll lead the way.

Norman Ellison: You're wounded.
Wardaddy: Sure am.
Norman Ellison: Sergeant Collier?
Wardaddy: My name's Don.
Norman Ellison: Sorry. Don?
Wardaddy: Yeah kid?
Norman Ellison: I'm scared.
Wardaddy: I'm scared too, son.

Patrick: Hey, everyone! Every body! Everyone, raise your glasses to Charlie.
Charlie: What did I do?
Patrick: You didn't do anything. We just want to toast to our new friend. You see things and you understand. You're a wallflower.
[Charlie gets embarrassed]
Patrick: What is it? What's wrong?
Charlie: I didn't think anyone noticed me.
Patrick: Well we didn't think there was anyone cool left to meet! So come on everyone. To Charlie!

Patrick: [mimicking his shop teacher] The prick punch is not a toy! I learned that back in 'Nam in '68. 'Callahan,' Sergeant said, 'you put down that prick punch and go kill some gooks!' And you know what happened? That prick punch killed my best friend in a Saigon whore house.
Mr. Callahan: I heard you were going to be in my class. Are you proud to be a senior having to take freshman shop, Patty-Cakes?
Patrick: Look, my name is Patrick. Either you call me Patrick or you call me nothing.
Mr. Callahan: Okay, Nothing.
Charlie: [voice-over] I felt really bad for Patrick. He wasn't doing the impersonation to be mean or anything. He was just trying to make us freshmen feel better.

Wardaddy: [Wardaddy throws Norman a gun] Boys, take him through that gun.
Grady: Alright.
[Wardaddy turns and leaves]
Norman Ellison: What... what do I do with this?
[Travis smacks him across the head]
Grady: Sit up. See that cover?
Norman Ellison: Yeah.
Grady: Open it.
[Norman opens the cover]
Grady: Now you killin. Close it up.
[Norman closes the cover]
Grady: Now you ain't.
[Travis chuckles]

Mother: She's on the phone now? Charlie, you've got to break up with her.
Charlie: I can do that?

Sam: Patrick?
Patrick: Yeah?
Sam: Who's this?
Patrick: This is...
Charlie: Charlie... Kelmeckis.
Patrick: Kelmeckis! No shit! Your sister's dating Ponytail Derek, isn't she?
Charlie: Is that what they call him?
Sam: Would you leave Ponytail Derek alone? You put the ass in class, Patrick.
Patrick: I try. Sam, I try.
Sam: It's nice to meet you, Charlie. I'm Sam.

Agent: You know, Simon, you're being held here today suspected in aiding in the escape of a convicted murderer from a maximum-security penitentiary. The charges are beyond serious. Your hard drives have been seized. Forensics is decrypting the contents as we speak. Your internet activity over the last ten years is being scrutinized and catalogued in minute, vivid detail. In addition, your father's bank accounts have been frozen, pending further investigation. After all, it was essentially his money that funded Mr. Tillman's escape. Now I need you to tell me *everything* that happened leading up to yesterday afternoon. Everybody you talked to, everything you saw, everything you did. And I need you to tell me that right now.
Simon: Yeah, um... I'm going to need something, too.
Agent: Oh, really? And what might that be?
Simon: Could you guys do a sandwich? Like peanut butter, almond butter, walnut butter, pecan butter, pistachio butter... um, pretty much any kind of, you know, nut butter? With some grape jelly?
[pause]
Agent: Pistachio butter... They make that?
Simon: It's awesome.

Sam: Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we're nothing?
Charlie: We accept the love we think we deserve.

Norman Ellison: Which... Which way is the front?
Boyd: Which way is the front?
[pause]
Boyd: Hmm... All around us, kid.

Simon: [upon seeing Kable vomit in gas tank] Aw, what the hell? That's just gross, bro.

Meyer: So, are you ready for this?
Jonah: I'm more fucked than a sea cucumber at a mermaid orgy.

Norman Ellison: Sergeant Collier? I think I want to surrender.
Wardaddy: Please don't. They'll hurt you real bad. And kill you real bad.

Patrick: Why can't you save anybody?
Charlie: I don't know.

Meyer: More of a celebrity than Art Garfunkel
Jonah: Art Garfunkel is the furry taint of famous Jews, so thanks?
Meyer: Really? I think Art Garfunkel has a good voice. Beautiful.

Wardaddy: [Norman has just killed his first enemy soldiers] Norman. It wasn't nothin,' right?
Norman Ellison: Come again, Sergeant?
Wardaddy: Rubbin' out those Heinies. Splashed 'em real good. Wasn't nothin,' right?
Norman Ellison: [With an odd look in his eyes] Sure, Sergeant. Yeah, it wasn't nothin.' Fact, I kinda liked it.

Simon: Gibs.
Kable: What?
Simon: Like giblets. Kibbles 'n Bits. Chunks. Pieces. Everywhere.
Kable: These are real humans fucker!
Simon: Death row psychos, so what? They had it coming anyway, right?
Kable: I guess that goes for me too.
Simon: Yeah, but you're different.
Kable: Different. How?
Simon: I don't know, because you're *my* psycho.

Sister: [to Meyer] Bringing the kid was a big mistake.
Jonah: You know what? I-I'm not a kid. Okay? I was bar mitzvahed seven years ago, Sister. Chanted a little Leviticus, boogied to Mungo Jerry. After my haftorah, got an over-the-pants hand job from Ruchel Rekenstein. I know you think I'm this undescended testicle, but I'm old enough to drink, smoke, enlist in the Army, so... I'm not a kid. And unless you want to Greyhound over to the Indian casino and recruit the Navajo Windtalkers, I think you fucking need me.
Sister: One misstep and I will do things to you so traumatizing, you'll wet your knickers any time you even see Mary fucking Poppins on the telly.

Charlie: Mr. Anderson? Can I ask you something?
Bill: Yeah.
Charlie: Why do nice people choose the wrong people to date?
Bill: Are we talking about anyone specific?
[Charlie nods]
Bill: Well, we accept the love we think we deserve.
Charlie: Can we make them know that they deserve more?
Bill: We can try.

Patrick: What?
Charlie: I feel infinite.

Sam: So, I'm guessing you've never been high before.
Charlie: No. No, no, no. My best friend, Michael, his dad was a big drinker, so he hated all that stuff. Parties too.
Sam: Well, where is Michael tonight?
Charlie: Oh, he shot himself last May. I kinda wish he'd left a note. You know what I mean?

Charlie: Mary Elizabeth is a really nice person underneath the part of her that hates everyone.

Charlie: Hey, Patrick.
Patrick: Hey! You're in my shop class, right? How's your clock coming?
Charlie: My dad's building it for me.
Patrick: Yeah. Mine looks like a boat. You wanna sit over here or are you waiting for your friends?
Charlie: No, no, no I'll sit.
Patrick: Thanks for not calling me Nothing, by the way. It's an endless nightmare. And these assholes, they actually think they're being original.

Sam: Charlie, I know that you know I like Craig. But I want to forget about that for a minute, okay?
Charlie: Okay.
Sam: I just want to make sure that the first person who kisses you loves you. Okay?
Sam: [Charlie is silent, transfixed. Sam gives a watery chuckle and moves closer to Charlie. They kiss, starting slow and becoming deeper. Sam pulls away after a dizzying moment or two] I love you, Charlie.
Charlie: I love you, too.

[first lines]
Charlie: [voice-over] Dear Friend. I am writing to you because she said you listen and understand and didn't try to sleep with that person at that party even though you could have. Please don't try to figure out who I am. I don't want you to do that. I just need to know that people like you exist. Like if you met me you wouldn't think I was the weird kid who spent time in the hospital. And I wouldn't make you nervous. I hope it's okay for me to think that. You see, I haven't really talked to anyone outside of my family all summer. But tomorrow is my first day of high school ever, and I need to turn things around. So I have a plan. As I enter the school for the first time, I will visualize what it would be like on the last day of my senior year. Unfortunately I counted, and that's one thousand three hundred and eighty-five days.

Charlie: Are you having a good time?
Sam: Not really, how about you?
Charlie: I don't know. It's my first date, I don't have much to compare it to.

Charlie: Sam, do you think if people knew how crazy you really were, no one would ever talk to you?
Sam: All the time.

Charlie: Dad, can I have 30 dollars?
Father: 20 dollars? What do you need 10 dollars for?

Charlie: Well, I have one thousand three hundred and eighty-four days to go. Just so I say it to someone, high school is even worse than middle school.

Charlie: I know who you are, Sam. I know I'm quiet... and, and I know I should speak more. But if you knew the things that were in my head most of the time, you'd know what it really meant. How, how much we're alike, and how we've been through the same things... and you're not small. You're beautiful.

[repeated line]
Norman Ellison: Fucking Nazis!

[tripping on acid, to Sam]
Charlie: I saw this tree. But it was a dragon. Then it was a tree again. It just lied to me.

Boyd: Here's a Bible verse I think about sometimes. Manytimes. It goes: And I heard the voice of Lord saying: Whom shall I send and who will go for Us? And... I said: Here am I , send me!
Norman Ellison: [Mumbling] Send me.
Wardaddy: Book of Isaiah, Chapter six.

Kable: Kid's gonna get me killed.
Simon: Dude, I'm right here man. I can hear you.
Kable: Listen to me. I don't know who's behind it or why, but I was supposed to die tonight. Lucky for us, I can beat them, but not with you controlling me.
Simon: What the hell are you talking about?
Kable: Turn me loose, kid. You want to win? Turn me loose!