The Best Steve Wilton Quotes

Steve: I don't buy and sell cars. I just sell them. But the cars I sell are mainly, uh, not mine.

Steve: Listen, Here's the thing Fiona. I wanna be with you, but I'm not one of those kids you can just boss around. I'm sorry. Now I gotta go pick up my wife's boyfriend.

Steve: And what exactly does "hooked up" mean?
Kevin: Last time I checked, penis goes into vagina.

Steve: You're gonna be disappointed.
Fiona: Wouldn't be the first time someone's disappointed me.

Steve: [predicting Fiona'a thought process] I lose respect for guys like Steve, because people unlike Steve, or people diametrically opposite to Steve have always let me down. So deciding that he's overeducated and has more money than sense is somehow more socially acceptable than asking myself, for instance, why do the men I always date treat me like shit?

Steve: Do you know why doctors, lawyers and nurses are great liars?
Debbie: No.
Steve: Because they lie to help people. Like, a doctor wouldn't tell a sick patient, "Too bad, you're gonna die." He would say, "We're doing everything we can." Wouldn't he?
Debbie: Yeah?
Steve: So, pretend you're being a doctor today and tell a doctor's kind of lie. Can you be a doctor for me?
Debbie: Can I be a nurse?
Steve: That's my girl.

Fiona: [Fiona rings Steve, as she walks through the snow]
Steve: [Steve is driving his car through a car wash] Hello?
Fiona: If that wasn't bullshit, what was I wearing?
Steve: Huh?
Fiona: First time you saw me, if that wasn't a lie.
Steve: Black top with gold trim, black shiny jeans, thin shoes - no straps - sandals. With your hair pinned high. Dangly gold earrings that made me smile.
[flashbacks of Fiona dancing in a nightclub]
Steve: . A big watch - too big - so it slid down your arm. It looked great. And you were dancing next to a red haired girl in a green dress.
Fiona: [Fiona sits down on a park bench] Yeah, yeah. Jenna. It was Jenna's birthday. So you were - you were watching her. She's a lot better looking than me.
Steve: You think so? Really?
Fiona: Yeah, so how come you're not stalking Jenna?
Steve: Because you - you think like that, and Jenna doesn't. Jenna dances for an audience. You dance like there's no-one else in the room... Your life's not simple, Fiona, and you can't stop it from showing, because you're no fake, you're not lost, you don't need finding. This whole city belongs to the Jenna's, but I'm sick of them. I swear, Fiona, you're nothing like anyone I've ever met. You make me want to enjoy my life again... Are you there? Fiona?
Fiona: [Fiona is silent, listening. Shot cuts to Justin driving his car across town and running for the subway, trying to find Fiona. He runs onto the platform just as the train is leaving. Once the train leaves, Justin sees Fiona on the other platform. They meet at the bottom of the stairs and find each other. They kiss]

Steve: You know, 90% of the world's problems are caused by tiny words that come in pairs. I mean, we're healthy and we're happy, but when people ask, we say "Not bad."

Fiona: What's the one thing that we needed? One word? One thing?
Steve: Sterilization?
Fiona: Continuity. Continuity. Con-tin-uity.