The Best Tanner Quotes

Tanner: Tupac's most definitely a zombie. Dude gets capped, but he's still releasing songs.
Don: You know who I'd bet is a zombie? Christina Ricci. She gives off a real zombie vibe.

Olivia: [Hoping to meet Allan at 'The Scratching Post', while she's under hopeless-romantic brain] I can't wait to see Allan and look deeply, sensually, into his eyes.
Tanner: Wanna open a tab?
Peyton: Blaine let's us drink here for free.
Olivia: I can feel it Peyton. The twirling forces of fate and destiny, burning inside me, tickling my loins...
Peyton: Like bad sushi.

[the CI Tanner tells Clive about the Lucky U he's selling for a new mystery man]
Tanner: Okay, yeah, there's a new player. A mystery man with a new product. Lucky U. It's the sickest Utopium out there. Totally uncut, insane high. And cheap. The bunk I'm slinging's got more steps than Helen Keller in a corn maze.
Clive: Tell me more about this mystery man.
Tanner: It's like you don't know what the word mystery means.

[Liv and Clive interrogate the CI Tanner about a new player in town]
Olivia: [Liv takes a photo of Tanner when he doesn't cooperate] What's your Twitter handle, Tanner? Hashtag 'real CI's of Seattle,' hashtag 'riding the U-boat.'
Tanner: Sally Tiny Tears is freaking me out, man. I can't have people thinking I'm tight with cops.

Don: I know plenty of zombies that would kill for your gig. I dunno, Blaine. Maybe we should give one of them a call.
Blaine: Maybe. But then, of course, we have to trick them into working full-time without benefits. And we, never pay overtime, which even I feel bad about. So how about we just take the path of least resistance, and, Tanner, you learn how to lock the door.
Tanner: ...So I'm... underpaid?

[the CI Tanner sees Liv at the police precinct]
Tanner: You look just like this doll my little sister used to have.