The Best Yuri Orlov Quotes

Vitaly: Yuri, what the fuck do you know about guns?
Yuri: I know which end I'd rather be on.

Yuri: [when a gun is aimed at him point-blank] Oh, the new MP-5. Would you like a silencer for that?

Yuri: How are you brother?
Vitaly: I'm still the resident family fuck up.
Yuri: Someone has to be.
Vitaly: [Referring to Ava] She knows right? What you do, how you pay for all this? I didn't want to say anything.
Yuri: She doesn't have to know, she understands she's a survivor like me.
Vitaly: She maybe a survivor but she's not like you, she really doesn't know how you pay for all this?
Yuri: We don't talk about it. How many car salesmen talk about their work? How many cigarette salesmen talk about their work? Both their products kill more people every year than mine, at least mime comes with a safety switch. Those guys can leave their work at the office, so can I.
Vitaly: My God you are good, you almost had me convinced.

Yuri: [Narrating] Thank God there are still legal ways to exploit developing countries. The only problem with an honest buck is they're so hard to make - the margins are too low, too many people are doin' it.

Yuri: [Narrating] I was an equal opportunity merchant of death. I supplied everyone but the Salvation Army. I sold Israeli-model Uzis to Muslims. I sold Communist-made bullets to Fascists... I even shipped cargo to Afghanistan when they were fighting my fellow Soviets. I never sold to Osama bin Laden. Not on any moral grounds: back then, he was always bouncing checks.

Yuri: [to Andre Sr] Where there's a will, there's a weapon.

Yuri: You read the newspapers, Vit?
Vitaly: Newspaper? It's always the same.
Yuri: You're right. Every day there's people shooting each other. You know what I do when I see that? I look to see what guns they're using and I think to myself, why not my guns?

Yuri: [Narrating] My son's birthday unlocked what the government would later describe, as a catalog of carnage.

Yuri: [when Andre suddenly shoots a subordinate with the sample gun from the main table in the center of his palace] WHY'D YOU DO THAT?
Andre Baptiste Sr.: What did you say?
[aims at Yuri]
Yuri: [pulls himself together] Well, now you're gonna have to buy it. It's a used gun!
[pulls it out of Andre's hand. Andre's bodyguards draw on him]
Yuri: How can I sell a used gun?
[Yuri huffs and busies himself wiping and polishing it]

Andre Baptiste Sr.: They say that I am the lord of war, but perhaps it is you.
Yuri: I believe it's "warlord."
Andre Baptiste Sr.: Thank you, but I prefer it my way.

Yuri: [last lines, to the camera] You know who's going to inherit the Earth? Arms dealers. Because everyone else is too busy killing each other. That's the secret to survival. Never go to war. Especially with yourself.

Yuri: [Narrating] I have been running away from violence my whole life. I should have been running towards it. It's in our nature. Earliest human skeletons had spearheads in their heads and ribcages.

Yuri: [Narrating] After the Cold War, the AK-47 became Russia's biggest export. After that came vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists.

Jack: [in the middle of the desert with an empty plane nearby] Do you know why I do what I do? I mean, there are more prestigeous assignments. Keeping track of nuclear arsenels - you'd think that be more critical to world security. But it's not. No, nine out of ten war victims today are killed with assault rifles and small arms - like yours. Those nuclear weapons sit in their silos. Your AK-47, that's the real weapon of mass destruction.
Yuri: [sitting on a small wooden crate] I don't want people dead, Agent Valentine. I don't put a gun to anybody's head and make them shoot. But shooting is better for business. But, I prefer people to fire my guns and miss. Just as long as they are firing. Can I go now?

Andre Baptiste Jr.: Can you bring me the gun of Rambo?
Yuri: Part One, Two, or Three?
Andre Baptiste Jr.: I've only seen Part One.

Anatoly: [siting on a long bench together in the hallway to their apartment] Is this how you want to be remembered?
Yuri: [chuckles] I don't want to be remembered at all. If I'm being remembered, it means I'm dead.

Yuri: [in an interrogation room] Enjoy it.
Jack: What?
Yuri: This. Tell me I'm everything you despise. That I'm the personification of evil. That I'm what- responsible for the breakdown of the fabric of society and world order. I'm a one-man genocide. Say everything you want to say to me now. Because you don't have long.

Yuri: [to Jack] Luckily we live in a world where suspicion alone does not constitute a crime.

Yuri: [referring to Angel] Any friend of my brothers' is a... a friend of my brothers'.

Yuri: [Narrating] Every faction in Africa calls themselves by these noble names - Liberation this, Patriotic that, Democratic Republic of something-or-other... I guess they can't own up to what they usually are: the Federation of Worse Oppressors Than the Last Bunch of Oppressors. Often, the most barbaric atrocities occur when both combatants proclaim themselves Freedom Fighters.

Yuri: [Narrating] The ones who know don't care anymore, and the ones who care don't know.

Yuri: [Narrating, opens the door to his hotel room and sees two African women slowly dancing on his bed] In the most AIDS-infested region of the globe - where 1 in 4 is infected - Andy's idea of a joke was to put a young Iman and a young Naomi in my bed - and no condom within a hundred miles.

Yuri: [Narrating] Of all the weapons in the vast Soviet arsenal, nothing was more profitable than Avtomat Kalashnikova model of 1947, more commonly known as the AK-47, or Kalashnikov. It's the world's most popular assault rifle. A weapon all fighters love. An elegantly simple 9 pound amalgamation of forged steel and plywood. It doesn't break, jam, or overheat. It will shoot whether it's covered in mud or filled with sand. It's so easy, even a child can use it; and they do. The Soviets put the gun on a coin. Mozambique put it on their flag. Since the end of the Cold War, the Kalashnikov has become the Russian people's greatest export. After that comes vodka, caviar, and suicidal novelists. One thing is for sure, no one was lining up to buy their cars.

Yuri: [Narrating] Selling a gun for the first time is a lot like having sex for the first time. You're excited but you don't really know what the hell you're doing. And some way, one way or another, it's over too fast.

Yuri: [first lines, to the camera] There are over 550 million firearms in worldwide circulation. That's one firearm for every twelve people on the planet. The only question is: How do we arm the other 11?

Yuri: [Narrating] Without operations like mine it would be impossible for certain countries to conduct a respectable war. I was able to navigate around those inconvenient little arms embargoes. There are three basic types of arms deal: white, being legal, black, being illegal, and my personal favorite color, *gray*. Sometimes I made the deal so convoluted, it was hard for *me* to work out if they were on the level.

Yuri: [Narrating] I was guilty as sin, but Valentine couldn't prove it. And he was the rarest breed of law enforcement officer. The type who knew I was breaking the law, but wouldn't break it himself to bust me.

Yuri: [Narrating] Some of the most successful relationships are based on lies and deceit. Since that's where they usually end up anyway, it's a logical place to start.

Yuri: [voiceover] I'm not saying I didn't have setbacks. It's not called "gunrunning" for nothing. You've gotta be fast on your feet. Some revolutions blow over before the guns even get there. There's nothing more expensive for an arms dealer than peace.
Yuri: [into cell phone] Truce? What do you mean, truce, the guns are already on their way... Peace talks... All right, forget it. I'll reroute the shipment to the Balkans. When they say they're going to have a war, they keep their word!

Jack: I don't think you appreciate the seriousness of your situation.
Yuri: My family has disowned me. My wife and son have left me. My brother's dead. Trust me, I fully appreciate the seriousness of my situation. And I promise you, I won't spend a single second in a court room.
Jack: You're delusional.
Yuri: I like you, Jack. Well, maybe not, but I understand you. Let me tell you what's gonna happen. This way you can prepare yourself.
Jack: Okay...
Yuri: Soon there's going to be a knock on that door and you will be called outside. In the hall there will be a man who out-ranks you. First he'll compliment you on the fine job you've done - on you making the world a safer place. That you're to receive a commendation or a promotion. And then he's going to tell you that I am to be released. You're going to protest. You'll probably threaten to resign. But in the end, I *will* be released. The reason I'll be released is the same reason you think I'll be convicted. I do rub shoulders with some of the most vile, sadistic men calling themselves leaders today. But some of those men
[pointing at newspaper articles]
Yuri: are the enemies of your enemies. And while the biggest arms dealer in the world is your boss, the President of the United States, who ships more merchandise in a day than I do in a year, sometimes it's embarrassing to have his fingerprints on the guns. Sometimes he needs a freelancer like me to supply forces he can't be seen supplying. So, *you* call me evil, but unfortunately for you, I'm a necessary evil.
[knock at the door]
Jack: I'd tell you to go to hell, but I think you're already there.

Andre Baptiste Sr.: Welcome to Democracy!
Yuri: Democracy? What have you been drinking Andy?
Andre Baptiste Sr.: Heh, you have not seen the news. You know, they accuse me of rigging elections. But after this -
[holds up a newspaper with the headline "U.S. Supreme Court Reverses Recount Ruling"]
Andre Baptiste Sr.: - with your Florida and your Supreme Court of Kangaroos, now, the U.S. will shut up forever!
[laughs]

Yuri: [in an interrogation room] The reason I'll be released is the same reason you think I'll be convicted. I do rub shoulders with some of the most vile, sadistic men calling themselves leaders today. But some of these men are the enemies of your enemies. And while the biggest arms dealer in the world is your boss - the President of the United States, who ships more merchandise in a day than I do in a year - sometimes it's embarrassing to have his fingerprints on the guns. Sometimes he needs a freelancer like me to supply forces he can't be seen supplying. So. You call me evil, but unfortunately for you, I'm a necessary evil.

Yuri: [Narrating] I am not a fool. I know that just because they needed me that day didn't mean they wouldn't make me a scapegoat the next.

Yuri: [Narrating] the primary market was Africa, Eleven major conflicts involving twenty three countries in less than a decade. A gunrunner's wet dream. At the time the West couldn't care less, they had a white war in what was left of Yugoslavia.

Yuri: [narrating] There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.

Yuri: [Narrating] I think I've been cursed, with the curse of invincibility.

Yuri: [Narrating] You can fight a lot of enemies and survive, but not your biology.

Ava: [in their bedroom] We have enough. You can stop now.
Yuri: It's not about the money.
Ava: What is it about?
Yuri: I'm good at it.

Yuri: [Narrating] I sell to leftists, and rightists. I sell to pacifists, but they're not the most regular customers. Of course, you're not a * true internationalist until you've supplied weapons to kill your *own* countrymen.

Yuri: [Narrating, looking at a cigarette advertising poster with Ava's face in the center] The problem with dating dream girls is that they have a tendency to become real.

Yuri: [Narrating, escorting Ava from his car and to his rented plane] You can't force someone to fall in love with you but, you can definitely improve your odds.

Yuri: [Narrating] The first and most important rule of gun-running is: Never get shot with your own merchandise.

Yuri: [Narrating, after Vitaly and Andre Jr. were killed] I now shared even more in common with the leader of that country God seemed to have forsaken. We saw something in each other neither one of us liked, or maybe we were just looking in the mirror.

Yuri: [Narrating] They say, "Evil prevails when good men fail to act." What they ought to say is, "Evil prevails."