The Best C.D. Parker Quotes

Francis: I'd like a soda, C.D...
C.D. Parker: Is your foot in a bear trap? You've been comin' here long enough. Get your own soda.

C.D. Parker: [Jimmy is trying to bring C.D. into the information age] I don't need the internet. When I was a kid, My mother only had a phone... She never took calls after 8 p.m.
Ranger: Did it have a crank?
C.D. Parker: What did you just call me?

Ranger: Cookies and cream, Big Dog?
C.D. Parker: This isn't an intensive care and your feet aren't plastered to cement. Come on back here and help yourself. I'm busy!
[Trivette walks behind counter]
Ranger: I'd like some coffee!
Ranger: Sure, customer! Coming right up!
[Alex walks in]
A.D.A. Alex Cahill: Hey guys!
C.D. Parker: Would you like some coffee?

C.D. Parker: [to Alex after she tastes his chili, and says it not hot] Were you born on the sun, honey?