The Best Clarence Gilyard Jr. Quotes

Ranger: [Walker has just been thrown by a bull. He pushes Trivette, who has been roped into being a clown out of the way] Move it Trivette!
Ranger: Hey, you said my name!
Ranger: Go!

[Walker and Trivette are escorting a cop killer on a plane from Cleveland to Dallas and Walker has to be separated from Trivette and the killer]
Ranger: If he gives you any trouble, you know what to do?
Ranger: Yeah! Shoot first and come find you later.

Ranger: Cookies and cream, Big Dog?
C.D. Parker: This isn't an intensive care and your feet aren't plastered to cement. Come on back here and help yourself. I'm busy!
[Trivette walks behind counter]
Ranger: I'd like some coffee!
Ranger: Sure, customer! Coming right up!
[Alex walks in]
A.D.A. Alex Cahill: Hey guys!
C.D. Parker: Would you like some coffee?

[On their first day as partners, Walker and Trivette have busted an arms runner]
Ranger: Come on, Trivit.
Ranger: It's not Trivet; It's TRIVETTE!

C.D. Parker: [Jimmy is trying to bring C.D. into the information age] I don't need the internet. When I was a kid, My mother only had a phone... She never took calls after 8 p.m.
Ranger: Did it have a crank?
C.D. Parker: What did you just call me?

Ranger: [Alex is pregnant] Hey, Honey, how are you feeling?
A.D.A. Alex Cahill: [Alex covers her mouth with her hand and runs to the bathroom]
Ranger: Sydney, how long is this morning sickness suppose to last?
Sydney: How should I know?
Ranger: All I know is, I'm glad women have to go through this and not men!
Sydney: Men are such wimps!
[walks off to go find Alex]
Ranger: [agreeing] Well... Yep. Yeah. Sure.

[after being beaten up by Walker]
Ranger: I'm glad he's in a happy mood.

[Sydney and Jimmy come out of a piercing parlor after interviewing someone; she hints he should pierce something]
Ranger: Yeah, right. If I'd get an ear pierced, Walker'd make me ride in the back of his truck.
[Walker carries bad guys to jail by placing them in the back of his truck]

Theo: [laughing as a LAPD SWAT armored vehicle is hit with a missile] Oh my God, the quarterback is TOAST!

Carlos: The problem is, my friend, that my customers order drinks you've probably never heard of.
Conrad: Try me.
Carlos: A Zombie, a perfect Rob Roy, and a Suffering Bastard.
Conrad: Coming up.

James: [to Bounty Hunter] I'm going to be all over you like a wet burnoose.

[after Maverick decides not to shoot down Jester during a training exercise]
Sundown: Hey, man, we could have had him. Hey, we could have had him, man!
Maverick: [grabs Sundown] I will fire when I am goddamn good and ready! You got that?
[continues walking away]

[explaining why a black kid from the Baltimore ghetto like himself would want to join the Texas Rangers]
James: When I was a kid, every Saturday morning I used to get up and sneak into the living room and watch my favorite TV show about the most famous Texas Ranger of all time, the last surviving member of a squad ambushed by bandits. Nursed back to health by an Indian, he became...
Ranger: Don't tell me...
James: That's right, man! The Lone Ranger!

Theo: [as the SWAT Team closes in]
[over the CB]
Theo: All right, listen up guys. 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except... the four assholes coming in the rear in standard two-by-two cover formation.