The Best Charles Vandervaart Quotes

[first lines]
Inspector: The secret is to make the bait look like dinner. That's why we use live ones.
John: Does that hurt 'em?
Inspector: It's a *worm*! You want to make it land with a plop. The plop grabs their attention; they think supper's landed.
John: Why would a worm just go plop inthe middle of the river?
Inspector: Does it matter?
Bobby: This is boring.
[the inspector sighs]
John: Worms live in the ground.
Inspector: Who cares?
Bobby: I-I got a bite.
Inspector: Pull. Reel it in.
John: It's a big one,
Inspector: It's not boring now, is it?
Bobby: It's really big!
Inspector: I think it's snagged on something.
[they reel in a body]

[first lines]
Dr. Julia Ogden: Gentlemen. A lovely day for it.
Inspector: Doctor.
John: Hello, Dr. Ogden. I didn't know you were a football fan.
Dr. Julia Ogden: I couldn't miss the match that decides which Canadian team will go to the Olympic Games.
John: What I would give to go to St. Louis. The World's Fair and the Olympics.
Inspector: We have everything we need right in Toronto, son.

Liam: Here, um... I got these for you.
Penny: Flowers!
Liam: Not just any flowers. Alpha Centauri humming flowers. When the wind blows through them, it sounds like music.
Vijay: I wouldn't get too close to them. They sound better than they smell.
Penny: Really? Oh wow.
Vijay: Should call them farting flowers.