The Best Cook Quotes

Drayton: The small bussinessman... always, always, always gets it in the ass.

Drayton: Grandpa's strict liquid diet keeps him as fresh as a rose.

Drayton: You coonshits, you fudge packers, you'll be the death of me yet!

Drayton: S-C-E-X, sex. Ya had to find out about it, didn't ya?

Drayton: It's a dog eat dog world and from where I sit there just ain't enough damn dogs!

[when asked the secret of his successful chilli]
Drayton: No secret, it's the meat. Don't skimp on the meat. I've got a real good eye for prime meat. Runs in the family.

Drayton: I wouldn't wish this rotten life off on a one-eyed ferret with mange.

Drayton: Who sentcha? Those sissies over at Delmar catering? That chicken-shit burrito man?

Drayton: A man builds a good sturdy trade by hookin' and crookin' and then
[removes pin from grenade]
Drayton: Ka plooey! The Gods just kick him right in the balls. Ah no! Not this time...

Drayton: [Hiding under the dinner table while Leatherface and Lefty fight] Maybe it's just time to just shut down. Time to shut down the show, yeah. Yeah, pull the plug. Come here, Nubbins!
[Pulls the preserved corpse of the hitchhiker from the original film under the table and searches him]
Drayton: Where... Where's that fuck you Charlie?

Drayton: [to Leatherface] Did you see it? Well, did you? Well, didn't you? Did you, didn't you? Go check it out boy!
Chop: NAM-LANDDD!
Drayton: Awww shut up!
[to Leatherface]
Drayton: I told you to go check it out before I start kicking your ass.
[to Chop-Top]
Drayton: Some kind of crazy booger just skitched through here.
Chop: No, a booger? How big?
[imitating Nubbins the puppet]
Chop: Big, crrazzzzyyy booger! Let's haul butt bro!

Drayton: [after Stretch runs right past the Sawyers] Some kinda crazy booger just skits through here!

Drayton: I thought you took care of her already.
Chop: Yeah well, Leatherface killed her once already, but LOOK! She's Red-faced. Oh, Bubba's been playing with her, Bubba likes her. Bubba's got a girlfriend!

[a chanting Lefty has just sawed his way through the Sawyers' hideout and has finally come face-to-face with them]
Lefty: Boys, boys, boys.
Drayton: What the Hell's goin' on here? That the American way of enterin' a man's home, singin' like that?

Drayton: I love this town!

Lefty: I'm the Lord of the Harvest!
Drayton: What's that? Some new health food bunch?

Drayton: [to Leatherface] You have one choice, boy: sex or the saw. Sex is, well... nobody knows. But the saw... the saw is family.