30 Best Emmet Quotes

Elizabeth: Emmet, relax! Hyacinth said they were looking at property. That's all I can tell you.
Emmet: If she comes back here without finding a property, then... then we'll have to help her look for something!
Elizabeth: How can we help her?
Emmet: We'll circulate estate agents within a fifty mile radius. No, no, let's make that a hundred mile radius! We mustn't miss any opportunity to help. After all, what are neighbors for?
Elizabeth: Emmet, we can't do that. We can't interfere with Hyacinth's choice.
Emmet: I could. Especially when it's in such a good cause.
Elizabeth: What good cause?
Emmet: MY SANITY!

Emmet: [When Elizabeth is jumping to do Hyacinth's bidding he is upset, until he finds out it's because she needs help finding a property] She's still looking! Oh, thank heavens you didn't say no!
Elizabeth: I thought you WANTED me to say no!
Emmet: Not when it's in such a good cause. Now, listen carefully. Pay attention; don't let her come back here without a property!

Emmet: [Looking out the window as Onslow, Daisy, and Rose arrive at Hyacinth's house] The blonde one's there - the one that's always trying to seduce me!
Elizabeth: [looks] Oh, yes. Rose.
Emmet: If they're family, why is Hyacinth acting as if they're strangers?
Elizabeth: That's the impression she likes to give.
Emmet: You don't think the blonde one will try to force her way in, do you?
Elizabeth: In here? Oh, I'd hardly think so.
Emmet: I wish you'd sound a bit more optimistic!

[Emmet has broken Hyacinth's china]
Emmet: Really, I'm terribly sorry, Hyacinth.
Hyacinth: Now, please think no more about it, Emmet. These accidents will happen... and always with my china.
Emmet: I-I'm not usually that clumsy.
Hyacinth: The only thing that matters is that you've not ruined your musician's hands... just my rug. Anyway, I'm sure the stain will come out... eventually.

Emmet: [about Hyacinth] That voice rips right through me. She could remove people's socks with a voice like that.

Emmet: If I hear the word 'yacht' from that woman just once more... I swear I'll by a U-boat.
Elizabeth: I wish I hadn't accepted Hyacinth's invitation now. Look, I hope you're not going to go in that mood.
Emmet: We've heard nothing but yachts for the whole damn week.
[sighs]
Emmet: I feel as if I'd already sailed, single-handed, the entire length and breadth of the uncharted Hyacinth.
Elizabeth: Still, it is kind of her to invite us down for the night... I think.
Emmet: Kind!
[laughs hollowly]
Emmet: It's chilling! Just imagine, a whole night on board some old bucket, with another old Bucket.

the Vicar's wife: Liz, will you and your jewelry stall be happy over there by the fire extinguisher?
Elizabeth: Yes, that would be fine.
the Vicar's wife: I'm putting Mrs. Bucket - Bouquet - over there.
[points to furthest corner of the room from the fire extinguisher]
Elizabeth: Ah! Thank you.
the Vicar's wife: She should have enough space there for a White Elephant.
Emmet: Is Richard here, then?

Elizabeth: Be fair to her. She's got a rich, strong voice.
Emmet: It's not the voice, it's who's in charge of it!

the Vicar's wife: [coming outside] Ah, I thought I heard a car!
Elizabeth: Two volunteers to lend a hand.
the Vicar's wife: That's most kind of you, Liz and Emmet.
Emmet: Absolutely no problem. Sometimes it's nice to get out of the house. Now, you tell us what you'd like us to do, and we'll...
[sees Hyacinth approaching]
Emmet: ... leave immediately!
Elizabeth: We can't leave now!
Hyacinth: Oh, it's Liz and Emmet! We thought you might be the Drummonds. The Drummonds from the Grange, you know. They're coming. Perhaps I ought to wait out here to meet them.
the Vicar's wife: What a good idea!
Emmet: Yes! Excellent! Why don't you stay out here to meet them.
Hyacinth: Well, I think I ought.
Elizabeth: [whispers] You can't leave her standing out there.
Emmet: Yes I can!

Elizabeth: When is Richard ever alone?
Emmet: Precisely, Liz! Maybe I could sneak him off for a quiet drink somewhere. Give the poor devil a break.
Elizabeth: I'm sure he'd enjoy that.
Emmet: The trick is trying to get him free from the clutches of "the Creature from the Black Lagoon". Frankenstein created a monster... and it sings!

Elizabeth: [Looking out the window. Shouts, surprised] Richard's just walked back into the house!
Emmet: It IS his house, Liz.
Elizabeth: No, no, no, he was supposed to be leaving for work! I don't think he knows which way he's going. He's been acting strangely ever since they gave him early retirement.
Emmet: I should think he has, poor devil. Imagine, all day at home with Hyacinth, every day! I'd call Amnesty International.
Elizabeth: He just kissed Hyacinth twice, and walked back into the house.
Emmet: ANYONE who kisses Hyacinth twice is entitled to walk back into the house!

Elizabeth: [of Hyacinth and Richard] They're a very close couple.
Emmet: Of course they're close. She has him on a lead.

Emmet: [Comes home from work] It's only me!
Elizabeth: [Humming "Whistle While You Work"] Hello, brother mine!
Emmet: You're particularly cheerful!
Elizabeth: I've had a coffee-free morning! No Hyacinth!
Emmet: [Starts to play the piano] Lucky you - how did you wangle that?
Elizabeth: I didn't have to. She was going out, looking at property.
Emmet: [Slams hands on Piano and whirls round, excited] Looking at property? Is that what she said?
Elizabeth: I think that's what she said.
Emmet: [Grabs her shoulders] Try to remember!
Elizabeth: Emmet, you're shaking me!
Emmet: [Stops] I'm sorry, Liz. But are you positive she said "looking at property?"
[Elizabeth nods and he is elated]
Emmet: That... that mean's she's moving. Hyacinth is moving!
Elizabeth: Well, I assumed it was for somebody else. She can't be moving.
Emmet: Don't say that, Liz, not even in jest! Ye Gods, Hyacinth moving... I think this calls for a little drinky!
[sallies off to the Kitchen, singing]
Emmet: Oh what a beautiful morning, Oh what a beautiful day...!

Elizabeth: I wish you luck.
Emmet: I don't need luck. It's not a question of luck. It's simply a question of telling her we're not going.
Elizabeth: Exactly. I wish you luck.

Elizabeth: [after Hyacinth ignores her declining of an invitation to coffee] It's like talking to brick! Words just bounce off!
Emmet: [Thinks he has the solution] Don't go.
Elizabeth: ...No, she'll only come round to get me.
Emmet: GO!

Emmet: [after Richard and Hyacinth return from the garden center] Liz, a mobile garden has just parked in Hyacinth's drive!
Elizabeth: A mobile garden?
Emmet: Well, a good imitation, anyway.
Elizabeth: [looks] Good heavens! You hear about the greenhouse effect. Next thing you know, it's parked outside!
Emmet: I think Richard's under that lot somewhere.
Elizabeth: With Hyacinth?
Emmet: [laughs] No, she escaped. She went indoors.
Elizabeth: Well, instead of giggling, you might go out and give Richard a hand.
Emmet: I wouldn't walk into a jungle like that without a map and a compass!

Elizabeth: Emmet, you are wicked!
Emmet: I know. Isn't it delicious!

[last lines]
Emmet: [seeing a car approach with a mattress and furniture on the roof] That looks a bit dodgy.
[sees Hyacinth in that car]
Emmet: I thought Hyacinth said she was going for a picnic.
Elizabeth: Looks as if they're prepared for every contingency.

Elizabeth: I've just been telling Emmet all about you. Emmet this is Richard. Richard, My brother Emmet.
Emmet: Hello, Richard!
Elizabeth: He'll be staying here for a while.
Richard: I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that!
Emmet: [Confused] That I shall be staying here for a while?
Richard: No, that you're her brother!
Emmet: I'm sorry?
Richard: Well, Hyacinth was...
Hyacinth: [Hastily] Oh, do stop babbling, Richard!

Emmet: [to Elizabeth] If she comes out, she'll want to know where we're going. You'll tell her, because you can't lie. Why is it, you're a grown woman and can't lie?

Emmet: [repeated line about Hyacinth in a sad and depressed tone] She'll sing at me, I know she will.

Emmet: [Standing by the window] Liz, who's the idiot next door?
Elizabeth: Oh, that's Richard. He's rather a dear, really.
Emmet: A bit forgetful, isn't he? That's three times he's been back to the house.
Emmet: Being married to Hyacinth, it's a miracle he goes back at all!

Hyacinth: Good morning, Emmet. Off to work then?
Emmet: No, no. I thought I'd just pop out and begin strangling overpowering ladies.
Hyacinth: Oh, that's nice; have you seen the paperboy?

Emmet: [after Hyacinth won't let him leave] We can't exactly be under house arrest... can we?

[last lines]
Emmet: There you are, Richard! I've only just heard that you've been very busy mending the electrics. How's it going?
Richard: I'm finished, now.
Emmet: Hidden talents, eh? You're a dark horse, Richard!
Richard: Well, you know how it is.
[grabs the switch]
Richard: Now, is everybody ready?
Michael the Vicar: This is like the switch on in Regent Street at Christmas!
Onslow: Hang on. Let's do it properly. We ought to have a countdown.
Emmet: Good idea! Ten...
Emmet,109047: Nine... eight... seven... six... five...!
[Richard throws the switch and every electrical fixture in the church hall blows up. Daddy evacuates everybody as the front door of the church hall is blasted open, and Hyacinth runs to Richard]
Hyacinth: Richard! What's happened?
Richard: I think I'm better with Christmas tree lights!

[last lines]
Emmet: Did you see that!
Elizabeth: Who is he?
Hyacinth: Um, it was Daddy. Uh, my father's a leading competitor in the over seventies bicycle race. I expect his number fell off in the excitement.
Hyacinth: Why is he wearing long johns and a steel helmet?
Hyacinth: Fancy dress. Charity. Brave Daddy, risking the elements at his age for charitable purposes. The old school, you know.
[starts for her front door]
Hyacinth: Coming, Daddy. I must refresh him with orange juice before he tackles the next hundred laps. Yes, the old school; it's his kind of spirit that keeps one going when everything appears to be collapsing.
Hyacinth: [singing] There'll always be an England, and England shall be free. If England...

Emmet: What the hell is an outdoors indoors barbecue?
Elizabeth: I don't know, but it seems that we are going to one.

Emmet: [Hyacinth's horse won't budge despite repeated efforts on her part] Perhaps you left the brake on, Hyacinth!
Hyacinth: Hmmm?
[Cracks up everyone else by actually looking for a brake]
Richard: In films, when they want to start a horse, they slap it on the rump.
Richard: Well, try it gently, dear. Remember, I'm not Roy Rogers!

[first lines]
Emmet: [singing] Ba-dum pum-pum pum pa-dum pum-pum pum pum ba-dum pa pum-pum-pum
Elizabeth: What's amusing you?
Emmet: Nothing.
Elizabeth: You got rid of that young missionary very quickly.
Emmet: No problem. I sent him next door.
Elizabeth: To Hyacinth! You didn't!
Emmet: If anyone needs a little Christian missioning, it's Hyacinth.
Elizabeth: I know. But think of the poor missionary!

Emmet: I love the thought of Hyacinth somewhere out there in the country. Pity it has to be THIS country, but still...