The Best Erica Albright Quotes

Erica: Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be.
Mark: Did you really just say that?
Erica: I was kidding. Although just because something's trite doesn't make it any less true.
Mark: I want to try to be straightforward with you and tell you I think you might want to be a little more supportive. If I get in I will be taking you to the events, and the gatherings, and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet.
Erica: [Erica stares at Mark for a moment, then smiles] You would do that for me?
Mark: [Shrugs] We're dating.
Erica: Okay. Well I want to be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore.
Mark: What do you mean?
Erica: We're not dating anymore, I'm sorry.
Mark: Is this a joke?
Erica: No, it's not.
Mark: You're breaking up with me?
Erica: You're going to introduce me to people I wouldn't normally have the chance to to meet? What the f... what is that supposed to mean?
Mark: Wait. Settle down...
Erica: What is it supposed to mean?
Mark: Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is because you used to sleep with the door guy.
Erica: The door guy? His name is Bobby. I have not slept with the door guy. The door guy is a friend of mine, and he is a perfectly good class of people. And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon?

Erica: You called me a bitch on the Internet, Mark.
Mark: That's why I wanted to talk to you.
Erica: On the Internet.
Mark: That's why I came over.
Erica: Comparing women to farm animals.
Mark: I didn't end up doing that.
Erica: It didn't stop you from writing it. As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared. The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink. And you published that Erica Albright was a bitch, right before you made some ignorant crack about my family's name, my bra size, and then rated women based on their hotness.
Reggie: Erica, is there a problem?
Erica: [Turning to talk to Reggie] No, there's no problem.
Erica: [Turning back to face Mark] You write your snide bullshit from a dark room because that's what the angry do nowadays. I was nice to you, don't torture me for it.
Mark: If we could just go somewhere for a minute.
Erica: I don't want to be rude to my friends.
Mark: Okay.
Erica: Okay.
[pauses for a moment]
Erica: Good luck with your video-game.

Erica: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.

Erica: Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman?
Mark: So you can see why it's so important to get in.
Erica: Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into?
Mark: [pauses, taken aback] Why would you ask me that?
Erica: I was just asking.
Mark: None of them. That's the point. My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer, and Eduardo won't come close to getting in. The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.

Mark: I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.
Erica: Why?
Mark: Because they're exclusive. And fun. And they lead to a better life.
Erica: Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix club.
Mark: He was a member of the Porcelain, and yes he did.

Erica: The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink.

Erica: I'm going back to my dorm.
Mark: Wait, wait! Is this real?
Erica: Yes!
Mark: Okay, then wait. I apologize, okay?
Erica: I have to go study.
Mark: Erica...
Erica: [Harsh and angry] Yes?
Mark: I'm sorry, I mean it.
Erica: I appreciate that, but I have to go study.
Mark: Come on, you don't have to study, you don't have to study, let's just talk.
Erica: I can't.
Mark: Why?
Erica: Because it is exhausting! Dating you is like dating a StairMaster!
Mark: All I meant is that you're not likely to... currently. I wasn't making a comment on your appearance, I was saying that you go to BU. I was stating a fact, that's all. And if it seemed rude, than of course I apologize.
Erica: I have to go study.
Mark: You don't have to study.
Erica: [Exasperated and angry] Why do you keep saying I don't have to study?
Mark: Because you go to BU!
Erica: [Erica stares at him, furious]
Mark: Do you want to get some food?

Erica: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.
Mark: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even.
Erica: I think we should just be friends.
Mark: I don't want friends.
Erica: I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.

[first lines]
Mark: Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?
Erica: That can't possibly be true.
Mark: It is.
Erica: What would account for that?
Mark: Well first, an awful lot of people live in China. But, here's my question: how do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SATs?
Erica: I didn't know they take SATs in China.
Mark: They don't. I wasn't talking about China anymore, I was talking about me.