50 Best The Social Network Quotes

Mark: I'm not a bad guy.
Marylin: I know that. When there's emotional testimony, I assume that 85% of it is exaggeration.
Mark: And the other fifteen?
Marylin: Perjury. Creation myths need a Devil.

Christy: You're asking me to believe that the CFO of Facebook doesn't know how to change his relationship status on Facebook?
Eduardo: It's a little embarrassing so you should take it as a sign of trust that I would tell you that.

Cameron: What, do you want to hire an IP lawyer and sue him?
Divya: No, I want to hire the Sopranos to beat the shit out of him with a hammer!
Tyler: We don't even have to do that.
Cameron: That's right.
Tyler: We can do that ourselves. I'm 6'5", 220, and there's two of me.

Mark: I'm just saying I need to do something substantial in order to get the attention of the clubs.
Erica: Why?
Mark: Because they're exclusive. And fun. And they lead to a better life.
Erica: Teddy Roosevelt didn't get elected president because he was a member of the Phoenix club.
Mark: He was a member of the Porcelain, and yes he did.

Sean: We lived on farms, then we lived in cities, and now we're going to live on the internet!

Marylin: The site got twenty-two hundred hits within two hours?
Mark: Thousand.
Marylin: I'm sorry?
Mark: Twenty-two *thousand*.
Marylin: [to herself] Wow.

Eduardo: Open your present. It's a silk scarf.
Christy: Have you EVER seen me wear a scarf?
Eduardo: This will be your first.

Amy: You don't know my name, do you?
Sean: Is it Stanford?
Amy: [playfully] I should just kick your ass! How do you go to a party and you meet somebody...
Sean: [Cutting her off] Amelia Ritter, but you prefer Amy. You're from Orinda. Your father's in commercial real estate, and your mother's ten years sober.
Amy: [Smiling] What's my major?
Sean: Trombone?
Amy: Really?
Sean: I remember something about a trombone.

Erica: [Angry] I'm sorry you are not sufficiently impressed with my education.
Mark: I'm sorry I don't have a rowboat, so we're even.
Erica: I think we should just be friends.
Mark: I don't want friends.
Erica: I was just being polite, I have no intention of being friends with you.

Mark: You know, you really don't need a forensics team to get to the bottom of this. If you guys were the inventors of Facebook, you'd have invented Facebook.

Bob: You know, I could swear he was looking at you when he said 'The next Bill Gates could be right in this room'.
Mark: I... I doubt it.
Bob: I showed up late, I don't even know who the speaker was.
Mark: It was Bill Gates.
Bob: Shit, that makes sense.

Sean: [Looking at the boxes of business cards on Mark's desk] What's the package?
Mark: [avoiding eye contact] Nothing.
Sean: [Sean smiles] Mackey?
Mackey: Yes, sir?
Sean: Refresh!
[Screen shows 1,000,046 members on refreshing the page, all the Facebook employees cheer]
Sean: And you're not a hugger, I know.
[hugs Mark, while Mark resists]

Sean: Well, I founded an internet company that let folks download and share music for free.
Amy: Kind of like Napster?
Sean: Exactly like Napster.
Amy: What do you mean?
Sean: I founded Napster.
Amy: Sean Parker founded Napster.
Sean: Nice to meet you.
Amy: [Surprised] You're Sean Parker?
Sean: Ah ha! You see, the shoe is on the other...
Amy: Foot?
Sean: Table. Which has turned.
Amy: I just slept with Sean Parker?
Sean: You just slept ON Sean Parker.

Sean: Hang on. Almost forgot.
[holds a check in front of Eduardo]
Sean: Here's your $19,000. I wouldn't cash it, though. I drew it on the account you froze.
[Eduardo goes to hit Sean; Sean cowers]
Eduardo: [Eduardo pulls back, his eyes wet, but staring to smile] I like standing next to you, Sean. It makes me look so tough.
[walks out, escorted by two security guards]

Mark: I went to my friend for the money because that's who I wanted to be partners with. Eduardo was the president of the Harvard Investors Association, and he was also my best friend.
Gage: Your best friend is suing you for six hundred million dollars.
Mark: [Sarcastically] I didn't know that, tell me more.

Eduardo: Hey, Mark.
Mark: Wardo.
Eduardo: You and Erica split up.
Mark: [confused] How did you know that?
Eduardo: It's on your blog.
Mark: Yeah.
Eduardo: Are you all right?
Mark: I need you.
Eduardo: I'm here for you.
Mark: No, I need the algorithm you used to rank chess players.
Eduardo: Are you OK?
Mark: We're ranking girls.

Tyler: This isn't petty larceny. This idea is potentially worth millions of dollars.
Larry: Millions!
Cameron: Yes.
Larry: You might just be letting your imaginations run away with you.
Tyler: Sir, I honestly don't think you're in any position to make that call.
Larry: I was the U.S. Treasury Secretary. I'm in some position to make that call.
Tyler: Letting our imaginations run away with us is exactly what we were told to do in your freshmen address.
Larry: Then I would suggest that you let your imaginations run away with you on a new project.
Cameron: You would?
Larry: Yes. Everyone at Harvard's inventing something. Harvard undergraduates believe that inventing a job is better than finding a job. So, I'll suggest again that the two of you come up with a new new project.
Cameron: I'm sorry, sir, but that's not the point.
Larry: Please, arrive at the point.
Tyler: You don't have to be an intellectual property expert to understand the difference between right and wrong.
Larry: And you're saying that I don't?
Cameron: Of course I'm not saying that, sir.
Tyler: I'm saying that.
Larry: Really?

Marylin: What are you doing?
Mark: Checking in to see how it's going in Bosnia.
Marylin: Bosnia. They don't have roads, but they have Facebook.
[Mark says nothing]
Marylin: You must really hate the Winklevosses.
Mark: I don't hate anybody. The "Winklevii" aren't suing me for intellectual property theft. They're suing me because for the first time in their lives, things didn't go exactly the way they were supposed to for them.

Sean: And that's where you're headed, a billion dollar valuation. Unless you take bad advice, in which case you may as well have come up with a chain of very successful yogurt shops. When you go fishing you can catch a lot of fish, or you can catch a big fish. You ever walk into a guy's den and see a picture of him standing next to fourteen trout?
Christy: No, he's holding a three-thousand-pound marlin.
Sean: Yup!
Mark: That's a good analogy.
Eduardo: Okay, but we all know that marlins don't really weigh three-thousand pounds, right?
Christy: Have you seen the big ones up close?
Eduardo: No I haven't, but I really don't think the guy's holding a marlin the size of a Range Rover. That would be a really big fish and a very strong guy.
Christy: You think we might be getting away from the point?

Gretchen: 18,000 dollars?
Eduardo: Yes.
Gretchen: In addition to the $1,000 you'd already put up?
Eduardo: Yes.
Gretchen: A total of $19,000 now?
Eduardo: Yes.
Mark: Hang on.
[Mark sarcastically adds up the 2 amounts on his notepad]
Mark: I'm just checking your math on that. Yes, I got the same thing.

Divya: You invented something in high school too, right?
Mark: An app for an MP3 player that recognizes your taste in music.
Divya: Anybody try to buy it?
Mark: Microsoft.
Divya: Wow. How much?
Mark: Didn't sell it, uploaded it for free.
Divya: For free?
Mark: Yeah.
Divya: [Looking a little puzzled] Why?
[Mark shrugs]

Mark: So how's it going? How's the internship? How's Christy?
Eduardo: How's the internship?
Mark: Yeah.
Eduardo: Mark... Jesus... I quit the internship. We talked about this on the phone. I quit on my first day.
Mark: I do remember you saying that. So how is Christy?
Eduardo: Christy's crazy.
Mark: Is that fun?
Eduardo: No. I mean, she's actually psychotic. She's insanely jealous, she's irrational, and I'm frightened of her.
Mark: Still, it's nice you have a girlfriend.

Mark: As for any charges stemming from the breach of security, I believe I deserve some recognition from this board.
Ad: I'm sorry?
Mark: Yes?
Ad: I don't understand.
Mark: Which part?

Erica: I'm going back to my dorm.
Mark: Wait, wait! Is this real?
Erica: Yes!
Mark: Okay, then wait. I apologize, okay?
Erica: I have to go study.
Mark: Erica...
Erica: [Harsh and angry] Yes?
Mark: I'm sorry, I mean it.
Erica: I appreciate that, but I have to go study.
Mark: Come on, you don't have to study, you don't have to study, let's just talk.
Erica: I can't.
Mark: Why?
Erica: Because it is exhausting! Dating you is like dating a StairMaster!
Mark: All I meant is that you're not likely to... currently. I wasn't making a comment on your appearance, I was saying that you go to BU. I was stating a fact, that's all. And if it seemed rude, than of course I apologize.
Erica: I have to go study.
Mark: You don't have to study.
Erica: [Exasperated and angry] Why do you keep saying I don't have to study?
Mark: Because you go to BU!
Erica: [Erica stares at him, furious]
Mark: Do you want to get some food?

Gage: Mr. Zuckerberg, do I have your full attention?
Mark: [stares out the window] No.
Gage: Do you think I deserve it?
Mark: [looks at Gage] What?
Gage: Do you think I deserve your full attention?
Mark: I had to swear an oath before we began this deposition, and I don't want to perjure myself, so I have a legal obligation to say no.
Gage: Okay - no. You don't think I deserve your attention.
Mark: I think if your clients want to sit on my shoulders and call themselves tall, they have the right to give it a try - but there's no requirement that I enjoy sitting here listening to people lie. You have part of my attention - you have the minimum amount. The rest of my attention is back at the offices of Facebook, where my colleagues and I are doing things that no one in this room, including and especially your clients, are intellectually or creatively capable of doing.
[pauses]
Mark: Did I adequately answer your condescending question?

Divya: Everybody on campus was using it. "Facebook me" was the common expression after two weeks. And Mark was the biggest thing on a campus that included 19 Nobel laureates, 15 Pulitzer prize winners, 2 future Olympians and a movie star.
Sy: Who's the movie star?
Divya: Does it matter?

Gretchen: What was Mr. Zuckerberg's ownership share diluted down to?
Eduardo: It wasn't.
Gretchen: What was Dustin Moskovitz's ownership share diluted down to?
Eduardo: It wasn't.
Gretchen: What was Sean Parker's ownership share diluted down to?
Eduardo: It wasn't.
Gretchen: What was Peter Thiel's ownership share diluted down to?
Eduardo: It wasn't.
Gretchen: And what was your ownership share diluted down to?
Eduardo: .03 percent.

Mark: I invented Facebook.
Marylin: I'm talking about a jury. I specialize in voir dire - jury selection. And what the jury sees when they look at the defendant. Clothes, hair, speaking style... likability.
Mark: Likability?
Marylin: I've been licensed to practice law for all of 20 months and I could get a jury to believe you planted the story about Eduardo and the chicken. Watch what else. Why weren't you at Sean's sorority party that night?
Mark: You think I'm the one who called the police?
Marylin: Doesn't matter. I asked the question and now everyone's thinking about it. You've lost your jury in the first ten minutes.

K.C.: Seven different people spammed me the same link.
KC's: What is it?
K.C.: I don't know, but I'm really hoping it's cats that look like Hitler, because I can never get enough of that.

[Talking on the phone]
Larry: Well, that's their own stupidity, I should have been there. Well, darkness is the absence of light, and the stupidity in that instance was the absence of me...
[Looking up to see the twins in his office]
Larry: Kathrine, I've got students in my office now. Students. Undergrads. I don't know, from the looks of it, they want to sell me a Brooks Brothers franchise.
Larry: [hangs up]
Larry: Good morning.
Cameron: Good morning sir. I'm Cameron Winklevoss, and this is my brother Tyler.
Larry: And you're here because... either of you can answer.
Cameron: Oh, I'm sorry sir, I thought you were reading the letter.
Larry: I've read the letter.
Cameron: Well, we came up with an idea for a website called HarvardConnection, and we've since changed the name to ConnectU - and Mark Zuckerberg stole that idea...
Larry: I understand. And I'm asking what you want me to do about it.
Cameron: Well, sir, in the Harvard student handbook, which is distributed to each freshmen, under the heading "Standards of Conduct in the Harvard Community," it says that the college expects all students to be honest and forthcoming in their dealings with members in this community. Students are required to respect public and private ownership, and instances of theft, misappropriation...
Larry: [interrupting] Anne?
Anne: Yes, sir?
Larry: Punch me in the face.
[turning back to Cameron]
Larry: Go ahead.
Cameron: [a little shaken] ... or unauthorized use will result in disciplinary action, including a requirement to withdraw from the college.
Larry: And you memorized that instead of doing what?

Mark: Your date looks so familiar to me.
Sean: She looks familiar to a lot of people.
Mark: What do you mean?
Sean: A Stanford MBA named Roy Raymond wants to buy his wife some lingerie but he's too embarrassed to shop for it at a department store. He comes up with an idea for a high end place that doesn't make you feel like a pervert. He gets a $40,000 bank loan, borrows another $40,000 from his in-laws, opens a store, and calls it Victoria's Secret. Makes a half million dollars his first year. He starts a catalog, opens three more stores and after five years he sells the company to Leslie Wexner and the Limited for four million dollars. Happy ending, right? Except two years later, the company's worth 500 million dollars and Roy Raymond jumps off the Golden Gate Bridge. Poor guy just wanted to buy his wife a pair of thigh-highs.

Mark: You signed the papers.
Eduardo: [almost in tears] You set me up.
Mark: You're gonna blame me because you were the business head of the company and you made a bad business deal with your own company?
Eduardo: This is gonna be like I'm not a part of Facebook!
Sean: It won't be like you're not a part of Facebook. You're not a part of Facebook.
Eduardo: My name's on the masthead.
Sean: You might wanna check again.
Eduardo: Just because I froze the account?
Sean: Did you think we were going to let you parade around in your ridiculous suits pretending you were running this company?
Eduardo: [cutting him off; screaming] Sorry! My Prada's at the cleaners! Along with my hoodie and my 'fuck you' flip-flops, you pretentious douchebag!
Sean: Security's here, you'll be leaving now.
Eduardo: I'm not signing those papers.
Sean: We will get the signature.
Eduardo: [to Mark] Tell me this isn't about me getting into the Phoenix.
[Mark scoffs]
Eduardo: [in disbelief] You... You did it! I knew you did it! You planted that story about the chicken!
Mark: I didn't plant the story about the chicken.
Sean: What's he talking about?
Eduardo: You had me accused of animal cruelty.
Sean: Seriously, what the hell's the chicken?
Eduardo: [leans down close to Mark, his voice low and dangerous] And I'll bet what you hated the most was that they identified me as a co-founder of Facebook, which I am. You better lawyer up asshole, because I'm not coming back for 30%, I'm coming back for EVERYTHING.
[backs away from Mark slowly, still looking at him]

Erica: The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink.

Eduardo: Mark. Mark!
Sean: He's wired in.
Eduardo: Sorry?
Sean: He's wired in.
Eduardo: Is he?
Sean: Yes.
[takes Mark's laptop and smashes it down on the desk, destroying it]
Eduardo: How about now? You still wired in?
Sean: Call security.
Eduardo: You issued 24 million new shares of stock.
Mark: You were told that if new investors came along...
Eduardo: How much were your shares diluted?
[points to Sean]
Eduardo: How much were his?

Erica: You called me a bitch on the Internet, Mark.
Mark: That's why I wanted to talk to you.
Erica: On the Internet.
Mark: That's why I came over.
Erica: Comparing women to farm animals.
Mark: I didn't end up doing that.
Erica: It didn't stop you from writing it. As if every thought that tumbles through your head was so clever it would be a crime for it not to be shared. The Internet's not written in pencil, Mark, it's written in ink. And you published that Erica Albright was a bitch, right before you made some ignorant crack about my family's name, my bra size, and then rated women based on their hotness.
Reggie: Erica, is there a problem?
Erica: [Turning to talk to Reggie] No, there's no problem.
Erica: [Turning back to face Mark] You write your snide bullshit from a dark room because that's what the angry do nowadays. I was nice to you, don't torture me for it.
Mark: If we could just go somewhere for a minute.
Erica: I don't want to be rude to my friends.
Mark: Okay.
Erica: Okay.
[pauses for a moment]
Erica: Good luck with your video-game.

Christy: When did you get back?
Eduardo: I got back this afternoon.
Christy: And when were you going to call me?
Eduardo: Chris, it was kind of a rough trip and I was tired and...
Christy: Or answer one of my 47 texts? Did you know I sent 47 texts?
Eduardo: I did, and I thought that was incredibly normal behavior.

Tyler: Sir, it's against university rules to steal from another student, plain and simple.
Larry: You've spoken to your house master?
Cameron: Yes, sir. And the house master made a recommendation to the Ad Board, but the Ad Board won't see us.
Larry: Have you tried dealing with the other student directly?
Cameron: Mr. Zuckerberg hasn't been responding to any of our emails or phone calls for the last two weeks. He doesn't answer when we knock on his door at Kirkland and the closest I've come to dealing with him face-to-face is when I saw him on the quad and chased him through Harvard Square.
Larry: You chased him?
Cameron: [Stuttering a little] I-I-I saw him and I know he saw me. I went after him and then he disappeared.
Larry: I don't see this as a university issue.
Tyler: Of course this is a university issue. There's a code of ethics and an honor code and he violated them both
Larry: You enter into a code of ethics with the university, not with each other.
Tyler: I'm sorry, president Summers, but what you just said makes no sense to me at all.
Larry: [Sarcastically] I'm devastated by that.

Eduardo: [Answering a call from Mark on his cell phone] Yeah?
Mark: You froze our account?
Eduardo: I did.
Mark: You froze the account!
Eduardo: I had to get your attention Mark.
Mark: Do you realize that you jeopardized the entire company? Do you realize that your actions could have permanently destroyed everything I've been working on?
Eduardo: WE have been working on!
Mark: [speaking frantically, almost hysterical] Without money the site can't function. Okay, let me tell you the difference between Facebook and everyone else, we don't crash EVER! If those servers are down for even a day, our entire reputation is irreversibly destroyed! Users are fickle, Friendster has proved that. Even a few people leaving would reverberate through the entire userbase. The users are interconnected, that is the whole point. College kids are online because their friends are online, and if one domino goes, the other dominos go, don't you get that? I am not going back to the Caribbean Night at AEPi!

Eduardo: Mark!
Sean: He's wired in.
Eduardo: I'm sorry?
Sean: He's wired in.
Eduardo: Is he?
Sean: Yes.
Eduardo: [picks up Mark's computer and smashes it on the desk] How about now? You still wired in?

Erica: You are probably going to be a very successful computer person. But you're going to go through life thinking that girls don't like you because you're a nerd. And I want you to know, from the bottom of my heart, that that won't be true. It'll be because you're an asshole.

Sean: Your major is French.
Amy: And yours?
Sean: Mine? I don't have one.
Amy: You haven't declared?
Sean: I don't go to school.
Amy: You're kidding!
Sean: No.
Amy: Well, where did you go to school?
Sean: William Taft Elementary for a little while.
Amy: Seriously? You're not like 15-years old or anything, are you?
Sean: [laughing] No. Wait, you're not like 15, are you?
Amy: No.

Mark: I was drunk, and angry, and stupid...
Marylin: ...and Blogging.
Mark: And Blogging.

Erica: Is it true that they send a bus around to pick up girls who want to party with the next Fed chairman?
Mark: So you can see why it's so important to get in.
Erica: Okay, well, which is the easiest to get into?
Mark: [pauses, taken aback] Why would you ask me that?
Erica: I was just asking.
Mark: None of them. That's the point. My friend Eduardo made $300,000 betting oil futures one summer, and Eduardo won't come close to getting in. The ability to make money doesn't impress anybody around here.

[first lines]
Mark: Did you know there are more people with genius IQs living in China than there are people of any kind living in the United States?
Erica: That can't possibly be true.
Mark: It is.
Erica: What would account for that?
Mark: Well first, an awful lot of people live in China. But, here's my question: how do you distinguish yourself in a population of people who all got 1600 on their SATs?
Erica: I didn't know they take SATs in China.
Mark: They don't. I wasn't talking about China anymore, I was talking about me.

Sean: You think you know me, don't you?
Eduardo: I've read enough.
Sean: You know how much I've read about you?
[whispers]
Sean: Nothing.

[last lines]
Marylin: You're not an asshole, Mark. You're just trying so hard to be.

Mark: Ma'am, I know you've done your homework and so you know that money isn't a big part of my life, but at the moment I could buy Mt. Auburn Street, take the Phoenix Club, and turn it into my ping-pong room.

Erica: Well, why don't you just concentrate on being the best you you can be.
Mark: Did you really just say that?
Erica: I was kidding. Although just because something's trite doesn't make it any less true.
Mark: I want to try to be straightforward with you and tell you I think you might want to be a little more supportive. If I get in I will be taking you to the events, and the gatherings, and you'll be meeting a lot of people you wouldn't normally get to meet.
Erica: [Erica stares at Mark for a moment, then smiles] You would do that for me?
Mark: [Shrugs] We're dating.
Erica: Okay. Well I want to be straightforward with you and let you know that we're not anymore.
Mark: What do you mean?
Erica: We're not dating anymore, I'm sorry.
Mark: Is this a joke?
Erica: No, it's not.
Mark: You're breaking up with me?
Erica: You're going to introduce me to people I wouldn't normally have the chance to to meet? What the f... what is that supposed to mean?
Mark: Wait. Settle down...
Erica: What is it supposed to mean?
Mark: Erica, the reason we're able to sit here and drink right now is because you used to sleep with the door guy.
Erica: The door guy? His name is Bobby. I have not slept with the door guy. The door guy is a friend of mine, and he is a perfectly good class of people. And what part of Long Island are you from, Wimbledon?

Sean: Drop the "The." Just "Facebook." It's cleaner.

Cameron: [Arrogantly as they lead the other boats by a wide margin] Is there any way to make this a fair fight?
Tyler: We could jump out and swim.
Cameron: We'd have to jump out and drown.
Tyler: Well, you could forward and I could row backward.
Cameron: We're genetically identical. Science says we'd stay in one place.
Tyler: Just row the damn boat.