The Best General Koller Quotes

Adolf: Burgdorf, what's going on? Where's the firing coming from?
General: First of all, Happy Birthday, my Führer. My Führer, the city of Berlin is under artillery fire; grenades have hit near the Brandenburg gate, Reichstag, and the Friedrichstrasse station.
Adolf: Where is the firing coming from?
General: My Führer, we don't know, but I'm talking with Koller.
Adolf: Koller! Let me speak to Koller.
[takes phone]
Adolf: Koller. Do you know that Berlin is under artillery fire?
General: No.
Adolf: Can't you hear the shooting?
General: No, I'm in Wildpark Werder.
Adolf: The city is chaotic. The Russians have captured a railway bridge over the Oder.
General: The enemy has no railway artillery in the Oder.
[takes paper from soldier]
General: It's not long-ranged artillery; the divisional headquarters of the Flak and Zoo-Bunker report that the shells are ten to twelve calibers. The Russians went into position in Marzahn.
Adolf: That's only twelve miles from the city center. Are the Russians really this close? The Lufwaffe leadership must be hanged immediately!
[hangs up]
Adolf: This is outrageous. Outrageous! The Russians are twelve miles from the city center, and nobody told me anything. I had to ask.
General: My Führer, it's probably long-range artillery, after all. You mentioned a railway bridge over the Oder.
Adolf: Nonsense.