The Best Ike Crystal Quotes

Mickleberry: Someone's in your bank account, Ike. They're using rapid transfers to drain your balance.
Ike: What? This is why people hide their money in mattresses!

Ike: Ah, man! Fool me once, shame on me. Fool - fool me twice, two, get bit by a snake.

Ike: We're all going back to Station 24, just like that? It's almost too easy, Luce.
Granville: What about Andy? Is Andy coming back?
Ike: No, no, definitely not. He's working full time for his uncle's carpet company now.
Lucy: I thought he didn't love that job.
Ike: No, he's in the showroom now, and apparently it's pretty *low-key*
Granville: Oh, is that what he's looking for? Something *low-key*
Lucy: Low-key's cool.