The Best Ingrid Snares Quotes

[Professor T walks into his office and finds Ingrid Snares chopping a pineapple into slices with a meat cleaver]
Professor: You attack with feeling, Miss Snares.
Ingrid: It helps if I imagine it is a certain someone's head.
[the Dean walks in]
The: Ah, Jasper. I wonder if I might have a quick word.
Professor: I wonder if *you* might.

Ingrid: He's taken up gardening
Adelaide: What did you say?
Ingrid: Gardening!
Adelaide: I heard you the first time!

Ingrid: DS Donckers to see you - and the other one!

Ingrid: I know you don't like birthday cakes so I bought you a doughnut instead.

Ingrid: [making finger quotes around emphasised words] These two ladies are seeking an audience with "the professor"; the "famous one" who "solves everything".
Professor: Indeed!
Ingrid: I said you might see them instead.

[Jasper is supposed to be looking after his mother's dog. Jasper is sitting in his office, engossed in reading something. The dog is nowhere to be seen]
Ingrid: Where's the dog?
[Jasper looks blankly at her]
Ingrid: The dog. You know? So high. Unfortunate disposition. Looks like a cross between a slipper and a gerbil.