The Best Jerry Brudos Quotes

Holden: One time, my mom walked in on me jacking off. Came into my bedroom. I hadn't locked the door.
Bill: Really?
Holden: Yeah.
Jerry: What'd she do?
Holden: I'd never seen her so shocked. It's like I was doing something too horrible to even imagine. She thought I needed help.
Jerry: She offered to *help*?
Holden: *Psychological* help.