20 Best Jim Nabors Quotes

Gomer: [Barney is upset with Gomer and walks out, refusing to speak to him] What's the matter with Barney?
Sheriff: Well Gomer, Barney's been bitten by the green eyed monster.
Gomer: He has? Well they got some stuff down at the drugstore that'll keep 'em off of you. One fell on me just yesterday!

Gomer: You never do let me look

Gomer: That Wally - when it comes to motors, he sure got as green thumb.

Gomer: I was wonderin' if you could put me up in a cell till I settle on my feet in someplace.
Andy: I'll go you one better'n that, Gomer. Come over to the house and stay with me and Opie and Aunt Bee for a few days.
Gomer: Oh, that's puttin' you out.
Andy: Glad to have you. Got more room that I know what to do with.
Gomer: Well it don't seem right.
Andy: You gotta see the fried chicken Aunt Bee's gotta throw out...
Gomer: I accept.

Gomer: And you say she's...
Andy: Nice!
Barney: Nice!

Barney: [stationing Gomer and Otis outside Andy's home] Now, remember, if anything suspicious happens, you call me.
Gomer: Right. Hey, Barn? I ain't got no phone out here.
Barney: You civilians just don't know how to think on your feet, do you?

Gomer: [Barney leaves the room angrily after Gomer arrives] What's the matter with Barney?
Andy: Barney's been bitten by the green eyed monster
Gomer: He has? He should go down to the drug store, they've got some spray that'll keep 'em off of 'ya. One fell on me just yesterday.

Gomer: Goober deemed it real honor to get under that fine a machine.

Barney: You see a wild bird just flies in there to get them berries and then it knocks against that stick there and then this, this snare, you see, just falls down on it and you got it.
Gomer: Well, I guess it's gonna be tough eatin', though. A bird strong enough to move them rocks and knock that stick over's bound to be on the muscular side.

Deputy: Gentlemen, I give you science in action, proof positive the camera does not lie. It sees all, tells all. THERE is your criminal!
[Slams picture from security camera on desk, only to discover it's a picture he accidentally shot of himself setting up the device]
Deputy: [Aghast] Well, it's ME!
Gomer: You take a real good picture, Barney. Me, I never do.

Barney: We gotta get some guy that's not been around too much, you know, really naive, some guy with not too much upstairs, in other words, a real dope.
Gomer: [Gomer enters] Hey Andy! Hey Barney!

Gomer: Shazam! The trap worked!

Gomer: [spotting two guys hiding in the alley] Shazam! We better call the police.
Barney: We ARE the police, you and me.

Barney: [as his passengers sing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm"] Wait a minute! Hold it, everybody! Listen!
[everyone quiets down and bumping sounds are heard]
Andy: Just bumps on the road.
Thelma: What it sounds like to me.
Gomer: It's just bumps on the road.
Aunt: That's what it sounds like to me.
Opie: Me, too.

Andy: [examing Gomer's purchases] Let's see... new socks...
Gomer: You don't think they're too porous, do you?
Andy: Huh?
Gomer: I'd hate for my leg hairs to poke through!

Thelma: I smell gas. Do you smell gas, Andy?
Andy: I smell gas.
Opie: I smell gas.
Gomer: I smell gas.
Aunt: I smell gas, too.
Barney: All right, all right, all right, you smell gas! Course you smell gas! What do you think this car runs on, coal?

Gomer: [asked who else could fix Malcolm's car] My cousin Goober, that's who.
Malcolm: He knows about motors?
Gomer: He hopped up an old V8 engine, put it on his rowboat. That thing'll do eighty. Now that's fast on water.

Barney: All right, is everybody set back there?
Opie: I'm all set.
Aunt: I'm all set.
Gomer: I'm all set.
Barney: How 'bout the front seat?
Thelma: I'm all set.
Andy: I'm all set.
Gomer: Hope I don't get carsick.
Barney: [quickly but insistently] Opie, you trade places with Gomer. I want him near a window.

Gomer: What a dumb trick. This is the dumbest trick. Barney, don't you ever call be dumb again.

Sheriff: What's wrong?
Gomer: Nothing. Why do you ask?
Sheriff: Well, Gomer, whenever I see a man settin' by hisself in a Quonset hut with a bucket on his head, I've got to ask, "What's wrong?"