Top 30 Quotes From Jimmy Olsen

Lois: Is this a picture of your feet?
Jimmy: [sheepishly] Yeah, but you can see the killer robot between them.

Jimmy: Hey did you guys hear? That super woman did it again, stopped a car jacking over on main then nabbed a purse snatcher a minute later. She's taking out bad guys left and right.
Clark: Did anybody get a chance to talk to her and find out who she was?
Jimmy: No, she just took off. Leslie thinks she might be related to Ultrawoman, remembered her?
Lois: Rings a bell or two.
Clark: Ultrawoman, yeah, she, she was beautiful. No offense honey, I'm sorry, but she was absolutely stunning.
Lois: [Smiles at Clark] Anyway...

Jimmy: Guilt; the kung-fu of emotions.

Jimmy: Chief, trouble in Smallville.
Perry: What kind of trouble?
Jimmy: Don't know.
Perry: What are the facts?
Jimmy: Can't get any.
Perry: Well who there have you talked to?
Jimmy: No one.
Perry: Clark's hometown is Smallville, have Lois get in touch with them.
Jimmy: She can't.
Perry: Why not?
Jimmy: I'm not sure.
Perry: Well you are just a fountain of information.

Jimmy: I thought you hated the symphony, chief.
Perry: I do, Jimmy. That's why I'm standing here in this monkey suit, waiting for my wife, who loves the symphony. And with whom I am on very thin ice. So I can plunk down a thousand smackers for bad seats on a charity opening night. Now, son, when you get married, this will all make perfect sense.

Clyde: Feds? You think I'm afraid of Hoover?
Jimmy: Hoover? What's a vacuum cleaner company got to do with it?

Clark: Maybe Sheldon Bender knows something.
Jimmy: Luthor's attorney? Why him?
Clark: Well, its just... God knows everything and attorneys seem to think they're God.

Jimmy: Lois. Hey, have you talked to Clark?
Lois: He managed to call last night. I'm not sure when I'll see him.
Jimmy: Boy, he's gone, Superman's gone.
[Looks at Lois wide-eyed]
Jimmy: He's gone, Superman's gone. Lois you don't think...
Lois: [Interrupts] I certainly do not Jimmy, that's ridiculous.
Jimmy: What, I was just thinking with all this hard work they could both burn out.
Lois: Oh, oh... oh that.
Jimmy: Why what were you thinking?
[walks away]
Lois: I want a simpler life. A simpler life.

Jimmy: Lois, you know those composite labs I've been checking out?
Lois: Yeah.
Jimmy: Well here's one. Hanks Photo Lab on Third Street. Somebody told me to look into 'em because they're not real legitimate but they do good work, you know fake passports and stuff.
Lois: Jimmy were running out of time.
Jimmy: Hank's used to be Dirt Digger's biggest client so I did some checking. Turns out that a huge payment was made to them the day just before the photographs were published.
Lois: So this photo could be a fake?
Jimmy: Well yeah but you knew that already.
Lois: Uh, yeah, no of course I knew it. I, I, I just didn't know if you did, know it I, I mean, if you knew that it was a fake.
Jimmy: [Looks confused] Right.
Lois: [Nervous laugh] Right.

Penny: What's it like being you? So brave. So fearless. So lonely?
[kisses him]
Jimmy: It's hell.
Penny: Oh, Superman.

Jimmy: Oh Lois, here's that book you wanted.
Lois: Oh thanks. Thanks Jimmy.
Clark: [Reads the title of the book] 'Do it Yourself Last Will and Testament'. Sweetheart, is there something you'd like to share?
Lois: No, just after redoing my insurance papers last night I realized I hadn't had a will made out.
Clark: That's because you don't need a will.
Lois: Well this year alone I have been shot at, strapped to explosives and electrocuted, if anyone needs a will made out it's me.
[Clark closes his eyes and sees flashbacks of his nightmare and losing Lois]
Lois: This really bothers you doesn't it?
Clark: Yeah.
Lois: Well Honey I know it's unpleasant but it's really just one of those things that you do like paying your taxes. I mean, it doesn't mean that I...
Clark: [Interrupted by a cry for help] Somebody needs help.

Jimmy: Are you ready?
Superman: I'm Superman.
Jimmy: Good point.

[the office elevator opens and Lois and Clark are kissing. They walk out holding hands and everyone stops and stares at them]
Lois: Okay so this skirt doesn't go with this blouse, it's not that bad.
Jimmy: You guys haven't seen this morning's National Inquisitor have you?
Lois: That supermarket rag, why would we?
Jimmy: Or The Dirt Digger?
Clark: Of course not Jimmy. What's going on?
[Jimmy holds up the photos of Lois kissing Superman]
Lois: Oh my God, Clark.
Clark: Lois...
Lois: That's me.
Clark: And Superman.
[Lois and Clark stare at each other]
Jimmy: Guys let me be the first to say that I don't believe it for a second, alright. It's obviously a fake, the photograph's fake, it's unequivocally bogus. Although it's pretty good work, I mean I've never seen anything quite as good, the matte lines all match...
Lois: Jimmy...
Jimmy: Sorry. On your team 100%.
Perry: Lois, Clark, in my office.
Lois: Chief, first of all I want you to know...
Perry: Of course I don't believe a word of it Lois, I know you'd never do anything like that to Clark, I've never seen two people so in love. This is just pure tabloid trash, it's that simple.
Clark: Thanks Chief.
Perry: Now that said this thing's already blown up pretty big. Now The Daily Planet has yet to take an official position but I can't sit on my hands much longer. The, uh, fellows upstairs are breathing down my neck to clean up this mess. So, uh, what do you want me to do? What do we print?

Perry: I love the smell of ink in the morning.
Jimmy: But it's not morning.
Perry: Oh, hell, Jimmy, I know that. It just doesn't sound as good, you know.

Jimmy: I'm not exactly Stallone.

Clark: [Hears a cry for help, looks at Lois as he reaches to loosen his tie] Uh, I...
Lois: Sure, yeah, go.
Jimmy: How do you guys do that? How did you even know he had somewhere to go?
Lois: Oh well I, I just... can't tell you.

Jimmy: Lois, have you seen Clark? I need to talk to him.
Lois: You can talk to me.
Jimmy: It's a guy thing.
Lois: That means it's about prostate trouble or about women. You're too young for prostate trouble. That means you wanna talk to Clark about women... .Jimmy, I'm going to give you the secret to success about women.
Jimmy: [excited] You are?
Lois: Yes. The Pacific box jellyfish is the most dangerous animal in the ocean.
Jimmy: ...You were gonna tell me the secret of success with women.
Lois: Oh, right. It's... um... .It'll come back to me. Probably.
Jimmy: [disappointed] Secret of the universe, yanked out from underneath me like a cheap rug.

Jimmy: Chief, here's your supermodel.
Lois: [Snatches the picture from Jimmy] Ah, who makes these people?
Clark: Come on Lois you are much better looking than Lisa Rockford.
Lois: See how well trained I have him already?

Jimmy: Come on.
Andy: What are you yelling for?

Perry: Do you ever get the impression that we'll never know everything that's going on with those two?
Jimmy: Chief.
Perry: Yeah?
Jimmy: Instead of always standing around watching Lois and Clark, wondering what they're doing, we get to get lives of our own that are little more interesting.
Perry: Son, you just hit the bull's eye. It's like we're supporting characters in some t.v. show and it's only about them.
Jimmy: Yeah! It's like all we do is advance their plots.
Perry: To tell you the truth, I'm sick of it.
Jimmy: Man, me too!

Jimmy: Does this mean I have to buy a tie?

Jimmy: Uh, Lois...uh, panic makes a man say strange things sometimes...uh, I was wondering if you could sorta forget what I...
Lois: [reassuringly] Trust me.

Lois: I have to go out for a while, Jimmy. Hold down the fort.
Jimmy: Isn't that what they said to Jim Bowie at the Alamo.

Perry: [referring to Jimmy's girlfriend] Well, son, can I meet her?
Jimmy: Oh, sure, chief. Just hop a plane to Switzerland. That's where her new boyfriend lives. The one who cheered her up while I was ignoring her.
Perry: Jimmy, you know what a man needs at a time like this?
Jimmy: A baseball bat and an alibi?

[In a suit and tie, Lois arrives at the Daily Planet. She finds Jimmy setting up several bouquets and wreaths of flowers]
Lois: Jimmy, what are these?
Jimmy: They're for Ultrawoman.
Lois: Really.
[Lois looks at the cards]
Lois: The Governor... Fabio... Brad Pitt... Deion Sanders... Jimmy Ol... Jimmy?
Jimmy: I know it's not the biggest, but you think she'll like it?
Lois: Well, I...
Jimmy: I can't get her out of my mind, Lois. I know it sounds crazy, but the way she looked in those tights... and the boots, I mean... you think they're leather?
Lois: I think you should apply ice.
[Clark arrives. Tiny pieces of tissue are stuck to his face]
Jimmy: Hey! Morning, C.K. Whoa! Cut yourself shaving?
Clark: Repeatedly.
[Jimmy walks away]
Lois: Morning.
Clark: Morning.
[Clark looks at the flowers]
Clark: Ultrawoman?
[He picks up a card]
Clark: Antonio Banderas.
[Clark crumples the card and throws it down]
Clark: Never liked that guy.
[Clark walks away]
Lois: [Lois bends down and picks up the crumpled card] Me neither.

Perry: Jimmy! Where in the Sam Hill have you been, son?
Jimmy: I'm not sure...
Clark: Jimmy, are you all right?
Jimmy: Yeah, I'm - I'm fine, CK. ... I seem to recall a woman, tall... and rubber gloves.
Perry: [exchanges a glance with Clark] That's probably more information than we needed to know, son. Everybody deals with grief in their own way.
Jimmy: She made me see lights.
Perry: I'm sure she did, son.

Jimmy: Wow. The first sound that can put a whole room to sleep.
Lois: No. I think Yanni did it first.

Clark: Yo Jim-bo, beautiful day isn't it? Incredible!
Jimmy: CK are you okay?
Clark: Lois thinks I'm a jerk.
Jimmy: That's... great.
Clark: She snuck over to my place last night. We talked, disagreed, even argued a little, it was just like old times.
Jimmy: Oh so she remembered who you are?
Clark: Well, I'm sure it's on the tip of her tongue.

Jimmy: [about a Prohibition Era car] Chief, is this what they used to drive when you were my age?

Perry: Maybe it's a good thing the device was destroyed. Technology and human nature are sometimes a volatile mix, aren't they?
Jimmy: Like Frankenstein.
Lois: In bodies of uniform density, the center of gravity depends on the shape of the body.