The Best Malin Akerman Quotes

Jane: You tell him the truth or I will.
Tess: No, you won't. You wouldn't hurt a fly and you definitely wouldn't hurt me, I'm your sister.
Jane: That was yesterday. Today you're just some bitch who broke my heart and cut up my mother's wedding dress.

Adrian: [Nixon finishes his speech on Veidt's TVs] Do you see? It's your super powers retreating from war. I've saved the Earth from hell. We both have. This is as much your victory as it is mine. Now we can return. Do what we were meant to.
Rorschach: We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...
Adrian: Will they? By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for today.
Dan: Peace based on a lie.
Adrian: But peace! Nonetheless.
Jon: ...He's right. Exposing Adrian would only doom the world to Nuclear destruction again.
Laurie: No... we can't do this.
Jon: On Mars, you taught me the value of life. If we hope to preserve it here, we must remain silent.
Rorschach: Keep your own secrets...
[the others look as Rorscach leaves, then Jon and Adrian make eye contact]
Dan: Don't even think about it.
[Goes after Rorscach]
Dan: Rorscach! Wait.
Rorschach: [Turns] Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Daniel.
[Leaves the building]
Adrian: I've made myself feel every death... see every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity.
[Turns to Jon]
Adrian: You understand, don't you?
Jon: Without condoning... or condemning. I understand.
Rorschach: [Outside, in the snow, Rorscach comes across a copy of Jon standing in the snow] Out of my way. People have to be told.
Jon: You know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach: Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient.
[Takes off his mask]
Rorschach: If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.
Jon: I can change almost anything... but I can't change human nature.
Rorschach: Of course, you must protect Veidt's new Utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it...
[Jon hesitates]
Rorschach: DO IT!
[Jon makes Rorscach explode into a pile of blood]
Dan: NOOOOOOOO!

Gertrude: Hey! There you are. How are you holding up?
Margaret: Oh, fine. Fine. Just working on my tan.
Gertrude: Yeah, the Paxtons can be a bit overwhelming at times.
Margaret: Yes, yes.
Gertrude: It's a little different than New York, huh?
Margaret: Little bit. Little bit. You ever been?
Gertrude: No. That was always Andrew's dream, not mine.
Margaret: You guys were pretty serious, huh?
Gertrude: Well, I mean, we dated in high school and all through college, but we were kids.
Margaret: And you guys called it off because of...
Gertrude: Well, um... the night before we graduated school, he proposed... and said he wanted to elope and run away to New York with me. And...
Margaret: You said "No".
Gertrude: And I said "No," yeah. I've never been anywhere but here. This is home. But anyway... you're a lucky girl. He really is the best, which you obviously already know.
Margaret: Oh, yep. Yep, very much so, yeah.
Gertrude: Well, cheers to you guys.
Margaret: Well... Thank you.

Annie: So far I went on four dates.Two were bar dates, like, a drink, and then two were coffee dates.
Lucy: And how did they go?
Annie: The two bar dates... Oh, then I slept with them.
[Lucy laughs]
Annie: The two coffee - I know.
Lucy: [laughing] Oh!
Annie: That's the difference between coffee and... and a vodka.

Tess: [about their childhood dog] Not a day goes by that I don't think about that bag of fleas. Good old Tory.
George: Hey, Jane, how come you never mentioned Tory?
Jane: I don't know. I guess I repressed the memory of *Toby*.
Tess: Yeah, his name was Toby, but I called him Tory because I had a lisp.
Jane: A lisp that turned your B's to R's?

Laurie: [after rolling down the cab window] I'm sorry. I invited you out to dinner to catch up and have a few laughs... but there don't seem to be many laughs around these days.
Dan: What do you expect? The Comedian's dead.

Laurie: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time?
Dan: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling 'Punish me! Punish me!' I'm just saying 'No! Get lost.'
Laurie: God. Whatever happened to him?
Dan: Well, he pulled that on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.
[pause, then both laugh]
Laurie: Oh my god. That isn't even funny.
Dan: [laughing] It is a *little* funny.

Jane: I... I thought you were wearing Mom's dress.
Tess: It is Mom's dress. Well, parts of it. It was just so old-fashioned, you know? So we could just use a few pieces here and there.
Jane: Parts?
Tess: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like this, and the lace.
Jane: You cut up Mom's wedding dress?
Tess: Well, technically Mary-Ella did. But don't worry. We saved you the rest. And, I mean, if you want, you can wear this... as long as a silhouette's still in fashion. Mary-Ella, I think just the bottom needs to be hemmed a little bit.
Jane: No. No, no, no, no. No!
Tess: Okay, fine. You don't have to wear it.
Jane: God, you don't care. You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you? I have made excuses for you because Mom died when you were little. But enough is enough!
Tess: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Jane: I can't undo what you've just done. But I won't let you hurt George. He thinks he knows the truth about you, but all he knows are the lies you've told him. You even had Pedro keep a secret from George. You tell him the truth right now! He is not one of your Eurotrash boyfriends, Tess. He is a good person. And you cannot start a relationship based on lies.
Tess: Oh, really, Jane? And you know this because of all your successful relationships?

Tess: How could you let this happen to me?
[begins reading from newspaper article]
Tess: "If Jane is the prototypical accommodating bridesmaid, then her sister Tess is cast as the overbearing, overindulged bride-to-be who at any moment might start stomping around Manhattan, breathing fire, and swatting planes from the sky."
Jane: I had no idea he was writing an article about me.
Tess: You? He called me Bridezilla! In the New York freaking Journal! I could tear him apart limb from limb!

Laurie: The most powerful thing in the universe... still just a puppet.
Jon: We are all puppets, Laurie. I'm just the puppet who can see the strings.

Jon: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong?
Laurie: About what?
Jon: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

Laurie: Everyone will die!
Jon: And the universe will not even notice.

[Laurie and Dan are breaking Rorschach out of prison]
Rorschach: Need to visit men's room.
Laurie: Oh, Christ!