The Best Laurie Jupiter Quotes

Laurie: Do you remember that crazy guy? What did he call himself... Captain Carnage. The one who used to pretend he was a supervillain just so he could get beaten up all the time?
Dan: Yeah, he tried that on me once. I just walked away. He starts following me down the street in broad daylight, yelling 'Punish me! Punish me!' I'm just saying 'No! Get lost.'
Laurie: God. Whatever happened to him?
Dan: Well, he pulled that on Rorschach, and Rorschach dropped him down an elevator shaft.
[pause, then both laugh]
Laurie: Oh my god. That isn't even funny.
Dan: [laughing] It is a *little* funny.

Laurie: The most powerful thing in the universe... still just a puppet.
Jon: We are all puppets, Laurie. I'm just the puppet who can see the strings.

[Laurie and Dan are breaking Rorschach out of prison]
Rorschach: Need to visit men's room.
Laurie: Oh, Christ!

Laurie: [after rolling down the cab window] I'm sorry. I invited you out to dinner to catch up and have a few laughs... but there don't seem to be many laughs around these days.
Dan: What do you expect? The Comedian's dead.

Jon: Will you smile? If I admit I was wrong?
Laurie: About what?
Jon: Miracles. Events with astronomical odds of occurring, like oxygen turning into gold. I've longed to witness such an event, and yet I neglect that in human coupling, millions upon millions of cells compete to create life, for generation after generation until, finally, your mother loves a man, Edward Blake, the Comedian, a man she has every reason to hate, and out of that contradiction, against unfathomable odds, it's you - only you - that emerged. To distill so specific a form, from all that chaos. It's like turning air into gold. A miracle. And so... I was wrong. Now dry your eyes, and let's go home.

Laurie: Everyone will die!
Jon: And the universe will not even notice.

Adrian: [Nixon finishes his speech on Veidt's TVs] Do you see? It's your super powers retreating from war. I've saved the Earth from hell. We both have. This is as much your victory as it is mine. Now we can return. Do what we were meant to.
Rorschach: We were meant to exact justice! Everyone's gonna know what you've done...
Adrian: Will they? By exposing me, you would sacrifice the peace so many died for today.
Dan: Peace based on a lie.
Adrian: But peace! Nonetheless.
Jon: ...He's right. Exposing Adrian would only doom the world to Nuclear destruction again.
Laurie: No... we can't do this.
Jon: On Mars, you taught me the value of life. If we hope to preserve it here, we must remain silent.
Rorschach: Keep your own secrets...
[the others look as Rorscach leaves, then Jon and Adrian make eye contact]
Dan: Don't even think about it.
[Goes after Rorscach]
Dan: Rorscach! Wait.
Rorschach: [Turns] Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That's always been the difference between us, Daniel.
[Leaves the building]
Adrian: I've made myself feel every death... see every innocent face I've murdered to save humanity.
[Turns to Jon]
Adrian: You understand, don't you?
Jon: Without condoning... or condemning. I understand.
Rorschach: [Outside, in the snow, Rorscach comes across a copy of Jon standing in the snow] Out of my way. People have to be told.
Jon: You know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach: Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient.
[Takes off his mask]
Rorschach: If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.
Jon: I can change almost anything... but I can't change human nature.
Rorschach: Of course, you must protect Veidt's new Utopia. One more body amongst foundations makes little difference. Well, what are you waiting for? Do it...
[Jon hesitates]
Rorschach: DO IT!
[Jon makes Rorscach explode into a pile of blood]
Dan: NOOOOOOOO!