The Best Michelle Quotes

Michelle: What do you prefer? Astroturf or grass?
Rodney: Don't know. I've never smoked astroturf.

Derek: [as Del tells the ladies a tall tale about Rodney being a professional tennis player, and playing in a tournament in Miami] Well, we can't complain like, because he won it. He did. He, uh... he beat that Jimmy Connolly in the final.
Michelle: Jimmy Connolly? Don't you mean Jimmy Connors?
Derek: No, he knocked that diddlyo out in the first round. Nine sets to one.
[Ladies laugh]
Derek: Actually we're only in London to get Hot Rod here measured up for a new bat.
Nicki: It's a racquet.
Derek: Bloody is, the prices they charge, darlin'!