The Best Monty Quotes

Monty,: You know, I'm not picky as long as it ain't meat loaf. That stuff gives me gas, something awful.
Snowbell: I'm sorry, it's meat loaf.
Monty,: Oh well, beggars can't be choosers. Load me up and light a match!
Snowbell: [Monty tries to go into the kitchen, but Snowbell tries stopping him, so he won't see Stuart and possibly humiliate him] No, Monty. Stop. You don't wonna do that.
Monty,: Why? I eat from garbage cans, drink from public toilets. Like a little gas is gonna bother me.
[he walks through the cat door to the kitchen]
Snowbell: No, wait. Don't!

Monty,: [while Stuart is hugging Snowball] Snow, what's he doing to your leg? I can't help to think that this is wrong.
Smokey: What the hell's going on here?
Snowbell: Urrrrm... Listen, Smokey... I want to quit this whole thing off... okay?
Smokey: Too late!

[Monty is looking in a trash can]
Monty: Oh, can't I get any food in this city?
[Falcon falls out of the sky and lands in the trash can. Monty looks up at the sky]
Monty: Thank you.

Snowbell: Now, pay attention. What do you know about a bird called 'Falcon'?
Monty: Falcon? Ooh, that's a bad guy. You don't wanna fool with him.
Stuart: You know where we can find him?
Monty: You don't wanna find him. You don't want anything to do with him. Trust me. He'd eat you so fast, you'd be a pile of falcon poop before you could yell for help. Falcons are vicious. They grab you by the back of the neck and carry you so high you can't even see the ground, and then they drop you. And by the time you hit the pavement, they just drink what's left through a straw.
Stuart: Snowbell, are you all right?
Snowbell: Oh sure. In fact, I no longer need a litterbox.
Monty: [laughs] Mop up on aisle three! Snowy!

Smokey: [pushes the branch Stuart's on down] Here you go, boys! Dinner's served!
Monty,: Alright, Smokey! Way to go!
Stuart: Oh dear!
Lucky: Look, it's mouse on a stick! I love mouse on a stick!
Monty,: A little further! Keep him comin'! Keep him comin'! Alright I can almost reach him! Keep him coming! I got him, he's mine!
[Snowbell snaps the branch]
Monty,: What the? Hey, the branch is the gonna!
Snowbell: Well, what have we got here?
Monty,: Snow, don't come out here, the branch is breaking!
Snowbell: Stuart, are you alright?
Stuart: Yeah, yeah I'm okay.
Snowbell: Just hang on, I'll take it from here!
Monty,: Huh? Take what?
[Snowbell pushes the branch Monty's on with Red and Lucky on further]
Monty,: Hey, c'mon Snow! You wouldn't do this to me? I'm not your old buddy?
Snowbell: Don't worry, buddy! I'm sure you'll land
[he pushes the branch further]
Monty,: No, no Snow! What're you doing?
Snowbell: On your feet!
[the branch snaps sending Red, Lucky and Monty into the water, all three cats screaming and splash in the water]

Monty,: Aren't you gonna' run?
Stuart: Why?
Monty,: 'cause you're a mouse.
Stuart: I'm not just a mouse. I'm a member of this family.
Monty,: A mouse with a pet cat?
[rolls over and laughs out loud, repeating that line over again]
Stuart: I guess that's pretty funny!
Monty,: Pretty funny? I'm gonna wet my fur! A MOUSE WITH A PET CAT!
[laughs hard more, and looks down at Snowbell, who is embarrassed]
Monty,: Your new little master? Wait 'til the boys hear all about this!
Snowbell: Ah, the humiliation!
[to Stuart]
Snowbell: I'm going to kill you!