The Best Mr. Brown Quotes

Mr. Brown: [deleted scene] Does anyone have anything else at all? Anyone besides Michael?
Ryan: I have something.
Mr. Brown: Yes, please.
Ryan: Um, well, I grew up here in Scranton and when I was a kid the guy who lived next door was a former baseball player, who actually played pro ball before the leagues were integrated. And he had the most incredible stories about...
Michael: Okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry this guy's a temp and I should've told you that.
Michael: No, no, no, no. An outsider's perspective would probably be pretty helpful.
Michael: Yeah, but no, seriously. Uh, you know, he's not a member of the full staff so, uh, Ryan, you wanna just step outside?
Ryan: What do you want me to do?
Michael: Well, maybe you should go down to the parking lot. You know what? Yes, go down to the parking lot and check to see if any of our guests have parked in the handicapped spots. Cool? 'Cause the handicaps get a raw deal. Oh, you know what. That ties right into New Attitudes. New attitudes about handicap people. Very important.
Mr. Brown: I'm sorry, Michael. We're actually out of time.
Pam: Yeah, um, there's good things about Michael. He uh, uh... Yeah, definitely. Um...

Mr. Brown: [deleted scene] Thanks for filling these out. I promise this will be quick. We only have about an hour.
Michael: Yeah. I would like to see us erase 100 years of racism in an hour.
Mr. Brown: Does this company have 100 years to erase?
Michael: No, the country.
Mr. Brown: Oh right, more like 200 years.
Michael: Yeah, more like a 1,000.
Mr. Brown: Okay, um. Uh, I'll try to make this quick.

Mr. Brown: [deleted scene] HERO, at Diversity Today, we believe it is very easy to be a HERO. All you need are honesty, empathy, respect and open-mindedness.
Michael: I just think that HERO? It's cute, but it's... It's empty, you know? It's easy. Dwight, you know what, I came up with some terms of my own. Could you put these on the board? The first one is Inclusion, New attitudes, Color-blind...
Mr. Brown: Oh, nice.
Michael: Expectations...
Mr. Brown: Good.
Michael: Thank you. Sharing...
Mr. Brown: Great.
Michael: And Tolerance.
Mr. Brown: Beautiful.
Pam: Um, that spells incest.
Mr. Brown: Oh my. Sorry. That is not appropriate.
Michael: Well, it's not ideal but you have to give me some credit 'cause I made it into a word.
Mr. Brown: Yeah, but it's not appropriate. This is not helpful as a memory aid.
Michael: I will give you a number of reasons why it is, actually. Okay, first, incest is bad. Racism is bad. No brainer, right? Two, incest. We're all a family, right? We're all brothers and sisters. Racial message? Um? Number three, and this is a fact. The states where they have a lot of racism are the states where they have a lot of incest. Okay? And finally...
Mr. Brown: Okay, Michael, I just...
Michael: No, no, no, no, wait. Final one, final one this is important. The more we can encourage interracial dating as a society the further away we get from incest, literally.
Pam: It would've been just as easy for him to spell insect. Of course, that wouldn't have made any sense either.

Mr. Brown: Now this is a simple acronym: H.E.R.O. At Diversity, we believe it's very easy to be a hero. All you need are: Honesty, Empathy, Respect, and Open-mindedness.
Dwight: Excuse me, I'm sorry, but that's not all it takes to be a hero.
Mr. Brown: Okay, well, what is a hero to you?
Dwight: A hero kills people, people that wish him harm. A hero is part human and part supernatural. A hero is born out of a childhood trauma, or out of a disaster, and must be avenged.
Mr. Brown: Uh, okay, you're thinking of a superhero.