The Best Sarah Baker Quotes

Sarah: [hits the bathroom door with her lacrosse stick before Tom pulls her away] You can only put on so much lip gloss, princess!
Lorraine: [sighs] You blew my concentration.
[smiles happily]
Lorraine: Now i get to start all over again. Ha.

Sarah: Great. In Midland we were a Family. Now were a support system?
Lorraine: A Family is a Support System, Butch

Kate: Sarah, your suspension from lacrosse for excessive force has been lifted, so you're going today.
Sarah: Yes!
Kate: Henry, you have band practice, all right? I cleaned your clarinet. Please don't play with food in your mouth again. Kim and Jessica, your teacher called and has made a request that you do not correct her in front of the class. Mike, you have show-and-tell today. And please, honey, remember that body parts do not count. Kyle and Nigel, you have a dentist's appointment at three o'clock, so you're going to work with Dad.
Nigel: Yeah!
[yells]
Tom: [yells]

Sarah: Does anyone besides me think our "happier and stronger" life, is actually code for "nastier and suckier"?
Mike: First dad forces us to move
Jake: Then mom decides to become a career women and like, travel the globe
Jessica: And now, we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor!
Mark: And he hates kids too.

Tom: *All right. Enough is Enough. You're slacking on your chores. You're fighting in school*. Things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded*
Mike: What's grounded?
Tom: What's grounded? I'll tell you what ground it is. Except for attending games, you go to school, you come home from school, you do your homework, you do your chores, you go to bed and that's it.
Sarah: But that
Tom: Oh yes Sarah, I know that sucks, but that's the way it is!
Jake: Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party?
Tom: That's exactly what it means.
Kim: But we brought his presents already.
Tom: *You are going to miss it
[Kids are quiet]
Tom: Now, go to bed.

Mark: Mom, Beans is dead.
Sarah: Nobody cares about your stupid frog right now, FedEx, OK?
Mark: Stop calling me that!

Sarah: Release the hound!