The Best Blake Woodruff Quotes

Tom: *All right. Enough is Enough. You're slacking on your chores. You're fighting in school*. Things are out of control. As of this moment, you are all grounded*
Mike: What's grounded?
Tom: What's grounded? I'll tell you what ground it is. Except for attending games, you go to school, you come home from school, you do your homework, you do your chores, you go to bed and that's it.
Sarah: But that
Tom: Oh yes Sarah, I know that sucks, but that's the way it is!
Jake: Does this mean we can't go to Dylan's birthday party?
Tom: That's exactly what it means.
Kim: But we brought his presents already.
Tom: *You are going to miss it
[Kids are quiet]
Tom: Now, go to bed.

[phone rings and Mike gets it]
Mike: Hello?... Whos this?...
[hands the phone to his mom]
Mike: Somebody from somethin' somethin'.

Sarah: Does anyone besides me think our "happier and stronger" life, is actually code for "nastier and suckier"?
Mike: First dad forces us to move
Jake: Then mom decides to become a career women and like, travel the globe
Jessica: And now, we have to take orders from Hank, the model/actor!
Mark: And he hates kids too.

[to Michael]
Noah: Can You help me with my stocking?

Mike: We're gonna move!
[Henry, Jake, Sarah, Jessica, Kim and Mark all look surprised and let go of the rope, sending Mike to fall down the chute]
Mike: Ahhhh!

Mike: [shouts] Heads up!
[Tom catches the hockey ball right before it hits Tina in the face]
Tom: Little less wrist, Mike.
Tom: [throws the ball back to him and Mike catches it]
Mike: Got it.
Mike: [shouts] Game on!

Jake: I heard you were dissing my family.
Cooper: I don't even know your family loser.
Mike: You do now!
[Mike knocks Cooper's latte out of his hand]
Cooper: My latte!