Top 50 Quotes From Scary Movie 4

Tom: Hey, you look great for being pregnant.
Marilyn: I'm not pregnant!

- Yes, you can turn to religion or family and friends... but in the end, you're still in agony.
- Maybe that's why
- I want to become a nurse.
- I'm justI'm so in tune with everyone's emotions.
- I guess I've always had a knack for being-
- Oh, my-

Oliver: We'll build our own tripods. Ours will have four legs.

President: [to the U.N] So, an Indian, a Frenchman, and the Pope are all on a plane. The pilot says, "Hey, are any of you not circumcised?" So the Pope lifts up his robe and says, "Shut up, stupid! You don't even speak English!" The Israeli asks the Japanese guy to open his eyes, but the Japanese man says, "I'm not squinting you crazy Jew, you're the one who sold me these cheap glasses!" What's the difference between a Belgian and a lump of dog shit? The Belgian drinks wine, but the dog shit smells good.

- We're at peace now.
- I was just sealing the deal.
- Come on, Brenda. Let's go.
- Bye, Zoltar!
- Don't lose my number!
- Tell me you didn't catch something.
- Nah, it's cool.
- She said she was a virgin.
- We are so fucked.

- Beautiful outfit!
- Thanks.
- Where's your ride, G?
- Move it, dawg!

- Help! Help!
- I promised I'd find you, didn't I?

Saw: Tell me you didn't catch anything.
Zoltar: No, it's cool. She said she was a virgin.
Saw: [sighs] We are so fucked.

Saw: Zoltar come look! This one is actually going to do it.

- will attract those of whom we do not speak.
- If you talk about those of whom we do not speak... have you not spoken of that about which we do not talk?
- Do not speak of that of about which we talk of not speaking... about.

- Cindy! Look!
- What is this place?
- I don't know, but the boy's father's somewhere in there.
- We'll have to sneak our way in.
- But we're not gonna blend in dressed like this.
- Brenda, look.
- He's a wonderful boy.

Jigsaw: [to Shaquille O'Neal and Dr. Phil] You're both here because you like playing games with people.

- Daddy!
- Rachel!
- Rachel! Rachel!
- What's the secret, Brenda?
- What am I missing?
- Oh, please!
- More fake monsters?
- Cindy!

President: I just don't get kids. Remind me to sign that abortion bill.

Tom's: Why is the sky so dark?
Tom's: Why is the wind moving toward the storm?
Tom's: [sees laundry flapping in the wind] Why doesn't anyone have dryers?

[a terrorist jumps out of a van during the TriPod invasion. He has several sticks of dynamite strapped to him]
Terrorist: AHA! Death to America!
[he presses the trigger for the bomb, but it doesn't go off]
Terrorist: Oh, shit!
[a man runs up to him and knees him in the stomach, dropping him to the floor. About a dozen more people come and beat up the terrorist]
Crowd: Kill him! Kill him!

- and because of love, mankind-
- Thank you.
- Hello, and welcome to the show.
- We have got a very special man with some very special news.
- That's righthe's in the building!
- The man who saved the world!
- Put your hands together for Tom Ryan!
- Yes!
- My best friend.

- Quick! Into the cellar.
- No!
- This is the cellar.
- That's the cesspool.
- Damn it!
- Quick!

Saw: Enjoy your purple nurple, Tom.

Brenda: This is some shit, up with which we will not put.

Holly: [after farting for an awkwardly long time in front of the court house people] I'm not in my house, am I?

- I can't read that.
- That's better.
- Let's go, honey!
- Let's go! Let's go!
- Robbie, Dad's home!
- What is it?
- What's going on?
- Death.

Cindy: [to Tom] I was married once...
Cindy's: [Flashback] Get out the way, bitch!
Cindy: Don't call me no bitch! You ain't shit!
Cindy's: Shut yo ass up, snow ho!
[Cindy throws glass bottle]
Cindy: [flashback ends] Well, actually, married twice.

Henry: Martha I believe you have some tidings?
Female: Nathaniel Winston and Alice Smith have informed me of there intentions. He plans to have sex with her as soon as possible; she intends to put up a mild fight and then give in.
[elderly women sitting in chair nods her head in agreement]

Tom: [after finding Michael Jackson] Run away kids! Run towards the tri-pods if you have to!

- What can you tell us?
- They're indestructible.
- The clothing was burned off everyone's bodies.
- There were naked people everywhere.
- Were you naked?
- No.
- Thank God.
- Some good news at last.
- Get her a souvenir.

Tom: [his car is getting attacked by a mob] Don't worry kids. The doors are locked. There's no possible way they can
[a punch flies through the window and dazes him]
Tom: build the robot out of chocolate. But, that's just common sense. Oh, waiter!

Cindy: That last lightning bolt smelled like...
Rachel: ...A giant turd...
Tom: Yeah... the lightning...

Robbie: Dad, talk to me! What's happening?
Tom: There's no time to explain.
[a man runs past the window, screaming]
'Alien: Alien attack!
Tom: Well, actually, that about sums it up.

- What's happening?
- I don't know!
- Why is the sky so dark?
- Why is the wind moving towards the storm?
- Why don't any of us have driers?
- I've never seen clouds like that before!

Tom: Ever since the divorce it's like my life has no purpose. Half the time, I walk around feeling like a zombie!
C. J.: Yo, don't joke about zombies. That shit there - that's real.
Mahalik: Yo, you know Nashawn, down on 120th Street?
C. J.: Yeah.
Mahalik: She told me that she heard a zombie going through her trash the other day. The next morning, she turned up missing.
Tom: Uh...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts] What? Okay, back up. How in the hell do you "turn up missing"?
Mahalik: 'Cause nobody knows where you are when they realize you ain't there!
Tom: Guys, I'm trying to ask...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts again] So you telling me that you can appear and disappear at the same time.
Mahalik: No, man. You can't appear and disappear at the same time. The bitch ain't David Copperfield!
Tom: Uh, guys...
C. J.: [C.J. interrupts yet again] Mmm. No, no. But you can't be gone from one place and show up somewhere else entirely. So when you turn up, you're never missing. And when you're missing, you never turn up.
Mahalik: Unless... you a zombie.
C. J.: Damn! Hey, that's some plausible shit right there. You should blog about that.
Mahalik: I'm gonna put that on MySpace.
C. J.: You do that!

- Uh... that's not really important.
- What matters is
- I've let a lot of people down.
- Oh.
- I should go.
- Wait!
- Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy... but something about you makes me want to try.

Brenda: [after greeting Cindy] Cindy! Oh, it's been so long.
Cindy: Brenda, I thought you were dead.
Brenda: Oh, I thought you were dead, too!

[Unrated Version]
Tom: I've never been a good parent. Just ask my son.
Cindy: I did. What exactly is an "cock monger"?
Tom: That's not important right now.

Gloating: Ey! I got the last workin' car in New York! This is how I roll, bitches! Haha!
[Brenda throws car part at Lil' Jon's head]
Gloating: AAHH!
[gets knocked unconscious, car bumps into a trash pile and stops]
Brenda: You're right, Cindy! That worked pretty well.

President: [farts] There goes that duck again.

- I'd like that.
- Well, I better get back to Mrs. Norris.
- It's time to put her catheter in, and then after that...
- I've got to scrub in between her fat folds... and I've got to lance her boils.
- I've got to open her up and then-

- That's right.
- Oh, it feels good.
- Okay.
- You love this, don't you?
- It's nice and warm.
- Feels good, doesn't it?
- Oh, my God! Oh! Oh!
- I'm so sorry!

C. J.: We caught a lot of fish.
Mahalik: Yeah. Black cod.

Tom: [singing weakly to his daughter] You want this money, then you gotta be a bad bitch...

- Go!
- My bowels have stopped moving!
- Why?
- How's it going, Marvin?
- I just had this car working; now it's dead.
- Try changing the solenoid.
- Good idea.
- Death to America!
- Aw, shit!

- Woweewowee-wowee-wowee!
- Ya-ha! Whoa!
- Okay, um, Tom... isn't Cindy here?
- I know she's here.
- Cindy, I know you're in the building.
- Cindy! Cindy!
- Cindy! Cindy!
- Let's bring her out right now!
- I love this woman! I love this woman!

- Oh, that's cool, man.
- Me, neither.
- Hey, what you doing?
- Relax, man.
- I'm just trying to grab some nuts.
- C.J., what are you doin'?
- I just wanna eat some peanuts.
- Huh?
- See? Peanuts.

Oliver: We gotta find a way to take out these tripods. I heard that the Japs took out a few of 'em over in Kikkoman.
Tom: Kikkoman. That's- That's a soy sauce.
Oliver: Right, yeah. Low sodium.

President: I'm here today at the...
[looks at the U.N emblem]
President: ... un.

Tom: I've never been a good parent. Just ask my son.
Cindy: I did. What exactly is an "Ass Clown"?
Tom: That's not important right now.

- Mr. Koji?
- Hello?

- but it'll be worth it.
- Cool breeze. No sunblock. Worms.
- When we build our own tripods, they'll have four legs.
- I gotta show ya something.
- We'll tunnel up from behind and scare the piss out of ‘em.
- Wish we had some shovels, don't you?

Brenda: [after sleeping with Zoltar] What? We at peace now, I was just sealing the deal.

Cindy: Last night I saw a face.
Tom: Did it have a nose?
Cindy: Well... yeah.
Tom: That does sound like a face.