The Best Self Quotes

Narrator: George Michael didn't just get to first base with Maeby, he dove in head first. Like Pete Rose.

[Last lines]
Ron: I don't see it as a series. Maybe a movie.

Narrator: Buster faced his second biggest fear.
Buster: I can't swim! I can't swim!
Narrator: And then his first.
Buster: [the seal that ate Buster's hand appears] Oh come on!

Lucille: [flashback] Dinner's ready. We're having Lindsay chops. What? I just wanted to be ready in case some bully at school was as clever as I am.
Narrator: No bully ever would be.

Narrator: Soon, George Michael went to Ann's to try to win her back. But her Uncle Paul told him that Ann had moved in with her boyfriend. He also mentioned that we all only had three more weeks on earth, and that fossils were just something the Jews buried in 1924.

Lucille: [to the Hot Cops] Do you boys know how to shovel coal?
Narrator: I don't even want to tell you what these guys thought that meant.