Top 30 Quotes From Allison Dubois

Allison: Hey, is that says J. heart A.?
Joe: Is that what that says? Huh. I have no idea who'd done that.
Allison: You liar.
[Grabs his head lovingly]
Allison: Give me a kiss.
Joe: What if I don't?
Allison: Well, I might call the cops you little vandal.
Joe: I hate this. I hate the way you use me.
Allison: Oh, shut up and kiss.
[They kiss]
Allison: Mm. That was pretty good. I think you're safe for now.
Joe: Oh, thank godness cause I'm out of clean underwear and I hate the idea of going to the big house on dirty shorts.
[Allison laughs]
Joe: I hate what they've got to say about you.
Allison: You're always that romantic, Joe Dubois.

Allison: How can you say that?
Joe: I move my lips, I push out air. There's nothing to it.

Allison: A psychic with a bad memory. Go figure.

[the family just finished having some cake to celebrate Joe getting put in charge of an important project]
Ariel: So let me get this straight. The reason we get to stay up an extra half hour and eat cake is because Daddy got put in charge of some really cool project.
Joe: [Still eating cake] That is correct.
Ariel: Only you can't tell us about this really cool project because it's top secret.
Joe: That is also correct.
Ariel: [Excited] Can we at least have a hint?
[Joe motions that his lips are locked and the key is thrown away, meaning he won't tell]
Allison: Okay, on that note, come on, you little security risks. It's time to hit the hay. Joe, you got Bridge?
Joe: Yes.
[Reaches for Bridgette, waking her up]
Joe: Come on, kiddo. Time for bed.
Bridgette: [Sleepily] But I don't want to go to bed. I like staying up late.
Joe: Really? You got a funny way of showing it.
Bridgette: Congratulations again, Daddy. If you can't get that ship up to Mars, nobody can.

Allison: Where is everybody?
Joe: Well, let's see. Ariel is at Hannah's...
Joe: [after Allison gives him confused look] Oh, did I mention I'm taking you to Mexico for your birthday?

[Allison is hunting for her keys]
Joe: Keys? I would think even to get a psychic learner's permit you'd have to be able to find a lost set of...
Allison: [holding them] Keys?

Allison: I just had a weird dream...
Joe: Of course you did. It's a day ending in "Y".

Allison: [to Joe] What? You told me to dream about anything other than Murcado. It's not my fault my brain picks Sin City.

Allison: Justice isn't only blind, it's in a coma.

Allison: Ow!
[pulls a portable phone out of couch cushions]
Joe: Wow. You one of those people who can talk out of their ass?
Allison: It's not funny.
Joe: It's kind of funny.

Allison: [they're in bed] Here's the weird thing
Joe: You can't possibly say that with a straight face

Mrs. Dubois: So Allison, tell me about your work.
Allison: Oh, I don't know, it's part time. I work for the District Attorney.
Mrs. Dubois: Sort of a paralegal thing?
Joe: There's definitely some 'para,' but I do believe there's some 'legal' in there too, so...

Allison: Oh, I had a real nightmare, that Cynthia Keener had a nightmare.
Joe: Keener, what could possibly give that woman nightmares, other than somebody named Dorothy dropping a house on her?

Joe: [after having been approached by a corporate headhunter] ... Turns out I'm a "green" engineer and didn't even know it!
Allison: [laughs] I don't care what color engineer you are, as long as you're a happy engineer.

Allison: Don't you want justice for yourself, Mr. Turley?
Morgan: No, I'm over it.
Allison: But we need to stop your killer in case he does this to someone else.
Allison: No, I got the impression from the look on his face that it was a one-time-only thing.

Allison: Psychic with a bad sense of time.
Joe: Do you remember where you live?
Allison: Hmm, I'm seeing a house. I'm seeing a guy in his underwear. I'm seeing lots of dishes in the sink.
Joe: It's amazing how you do that.

Joe: Cockadoodle doo.
Allison: Cockadoodle who?
Joe: Nevermind, I take that back, it's way too early for this kind of talk. Do you know that it's barely five o'clock?

Allison: Let me ask you a question: is it completely hypocritical of me to be scared to death of the possibility of your mother living near us, while at the same time calling you at work to say do you think it would be okay if I left her with the kids for a little while, while I go to meet somebody in about half an hour?
Joe: Yes, it's completely hypocritical. And I think you should do it.

[Allison and Joe are asleep when the phone rings]
Joe: It's Two-twenty in the morning, this ought to be illegal. I got it.
[Answering phone]
Joe: Yeah.
Oliver: May I please talk to your wife?
Joe: It's a kid. Who is this? How old are you? Do you know what time it is?
Oliver: It's 20 minutes after two. Will you hand the phone to your wife, please?
Joe: No, no, as a matter of fact, I will not. It's the middle of the night and she's in bed, which is where somebody your age ought to be. Now, if you call here again, I'm contacting your parents. Trust me, you'll wish you'd never been born.
[Hangs up phone]
Allison: What did he say?
Joe: I don't know, he said he wanted to talk to you.
[Phone rings again and Joe answers it]
Joe: Yes?
Oliver: I really don't have any parents. And I already wish I'd never been born. So, if you don't mind, may I please speak with your wife?

Joe: [Having found Allison in the garage, just sitting behind the wheel of her car] What're you doing out here?
Allison: You're not gonna believe this but I had a crazy dream.
Joe: [deadpan] You don't say.

Allison: I don't wanna get up. You're right, I'm depressed.
Joe: You know what depression is? It's unchanneled anger.
Allison: Thank you. Thank you. Everything is different now. I'm still not getting up.

Allison: It's 9:00. How am I supposed to know you're OK? How do I know you're not lying dead somewhere?
Joe: If something had happened, somebody would've called. If I were dead, who are we kidding, you'd be the first to know.

[Allison is annoyed about having to clean the house before her birthday party]
Joe: Aren't you going to get that?
Allison: Why? It's one of the wicked stepsisters calling to say she's coming to the ball, but she wants me to stop and clean her fireplace.

Allison: He looks pretty good, don't you think?
Joe: For a functional alcoholic - absolutely. You know he's still out there drinking by himself?
Allison: Wow, who died and appointed you the mayor of Funville?

[Allison just had a dream about a doll encouraging multiple kids to kill a parent]
Allison: I know it sounds bizarre. That point is not lost on me.
Detective: So there's this killer doll...
Allison: I didn't say that! What I'm saying is I saw another child kill her father. And it seemed the doll, SEEMED to be mastermind. Even made it look like a mishap,like the Levitt killing.
Detective: The Levitt accident? The mastermind. Cool. Any sense of where this may have happened? I can send some men down to the mall. We can round up some Kens, some Barbies, some Cabbage Patches. One of those little bastards is bound to know something.
[Slight pause]
Detective: What?
Allison: You're not gonna help me, are you?
Detective: With what?
Allison: Fine. I'll do it myself!
Detective: Be careful. That Raggedy Ann may look out of shape, but she'll kick your ass in a fight.

Morgan: Fine! I'll tell you everything. Excuse yourself. Tell them you have to check on something. Tell them you'll be right back.
D.A. Manuel Devalos: What do you think, Allison?
Allison: Maybe. Excuse me, I have to check on something. I'll be right back.

Allison: Hey, I know you. Didn't you use to be my husband? We used to do things together. Like, I don't know, go to community meetings about sex offenders who lived on our block.
Joe: You know? When you've gone to one sex offender meeting, you've been to them all.
Allison: [They kiss] Ugh, you smell like alcohol.
Joe: And you smell like Allison.
[Allison laughs]
Allison: [Joe tried to kiss her again, she puses him back] Have you been drinking?
Joe: [laughing slightly drunk] With my boss. We did some eating too, and a lot of talking. I think I'm his new crush.

Allison: I didn't realise that someone had passed away. I'm not really fond of funerals, I deal with death a lot in my work.
Angel: Me too.

Allison: Who's the old lady with the funny hat in the boat?
Joe: Oh no. You don't get to do that.

Allison: So, how are the girls?
Joe: Happy, eating pizza
Allison: Pizza! What about my lasagne?
Joe: I'm just hazarding a guess here but, when you said 15 minutes, you meant the oven oven, right?, not the microwave