The Best Andy Richter Quotes

[while exorcising Megan]
Father: Holy Lord, Almighty Father, everlasting God and Father of our lord Jesus Christ, and the virgin Mary's baby daddy, holy Lord, Almighty Father, everlasting God, who once concerned that fallen tyrant to the flames of hell, who sent your only son in the world to crush that roaring tiger, and who got that unholy bitch Jerri kicked off of Survivor!

Michael: Are you Andy?
Donnie: No, I'm Emmitt.
Narrator: Michael was concerned. I mean think about it, we can't show Emmitt's face without blurring it.

- You're awesome, Walter.
Walter: [ON TV]
- Thanks.
Andy: Sure.
- Can you turn this off?
- It stays on.
- I'm just going to get out.

Father: Let's pray.
Father: Our father...
Megan: Hahahhaahaha!
Father: Shhhh... Stop it!
Megan: Your mother sucks cocks in hell!
Father: Oh shit...
Father: [Pulls out a gun] Suck on this.
Megan: Oh-oh.
[He shoots her]

Exorcist: [singing] Shake ya ass! Watch ya step! Shake ya ass! Show me what you working with!
Mrs. Voorhees: [singing] Attention, all you young players and pimps. Right now is the place to be.
Father: [singing] I thought I told y'all niggas before, y'all niggas don't fuck with me.

Dr. Kennedy: And how do see your place in this family?
Dewey: Well, I'm the favorite. You know, the one everybody loves the most. The cute one, the one everybody looks out for and gives presents to. And sometimes they even make the birds sing to me or the clouds spell out my name.

Donnie: We dont have grades here. A student either learns and gets an "L" or they fluctuate.
George: What do we get for that?
Donnie: An "F".
[Mr. F music plays]

Michael: You guys are identical twins?
Donnie: Identical quintuplets.
Narrator: There was Andy, the show off, Jared the flirt, Donny the sensitive one, Rocky, Andy's stunt double, and then there was Emmitt, who asked that we not show his face, although composite photography tells us that he might look something like this.